Could someone let me in on what chaos I missed, please? I hope everyone's still friends-nt-
#81940 - 06/22/04 11:15 AM
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tarabara04
Reged: 04/06/04
Posts: 442
Loc: Bay Area, California, USA
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-------------------- If you live life to love, you'll love to live life.
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how's your head, my friend?
SMOOCHES.
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HEY TARA! Hope you're well.
Ok - for those who were not hear to experience the so-called chaos, I will fill you in as briefy and as simply as possible. So...
*A particular thread started a month ago or more. At first this person asked for innocent advice about peppermint, was given advice and seemed to honestly appreciate it.
*The same person would come back every now and then and post about how severe their ibs was and how their life was miserable (completely understandable!) as they experienced bloating, gas and c all the time. This was fine BUT
*Many posted replies of sympathy and encouraged this person to keep their head up and to not give up, HOWEVER
*This person said they had tried "everything" but it didn't work, AND
*Suggestions were made by us such as medications that some of us have tried and seen improvements taking, as well as supplements that had helped, but many, if not all, were rejected due to the fact that this person, in their own words, couldn't risk taking something that would make their stomach worse.
*Many said that considering how miserable their life was at the present moment, it could not hurt to give something a try that may actually help. Again, this was rejected.
*Suggestions were made that this person see a doctor (but apparently doctors could not help). Detailed and friendly posts were made by many suggesting support groups or therapy to help deal with this on a day to day basis. For various reasons, these suggestions were all rejected.
Up to this point, the rejections were not made in a horrible tone, but failed to consider any other point of view.
*Later on down the line, the topic of anti-depressants came up. This person seemed offended by the suggestion and chastised others for "judging them without knowing them" etc.
*To make a long story short, the final straw I believe was when a separate and new post was made by this person blaming another poster for making a suggestion to take a certain medication or supplement that made this person ill. Those who read it would agree I am sure that this post directly attacked another board member.
Anyway, I think some people (and the kindest and most supportive - to this person no less) felt THEY had done something wrong WHICH THEY MOST CERTAINLY HAD NOT. Since it is not in their nature to be confrontational, or want to deal with such unfriendlyless, I think this was just a hard pill to swallow. There was only one person that offended anyone and this person knows who they are.
So this is why Heather posted a reminder that this is a support board, which is exactly why we all come here in the first place. I think 99.9% of us agree that if we don't agree with advice given, we don't have to dwell on it, just move on.
I guess it just comes down to "if you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all." However, each and every one of us is entitled to an opinion and agree or disagree with others. It is the way it is communicated that made the big difference with this whole issue!
Anyway, so let's get back to being the cheerful, supportive, caring little community we are. After all, that's what we're here for aren't we?
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to being the cheerful, supportive, caring little community we are. That IS what we're here for. If anyone EVER sees a post they feel is inappropriate, hostile, etc. please do NOT respond in kind. Just email me (heather@helpforibs.com) with a link to the thread, and I'll take care of things. Once we get into a back-and-forth situation of posts that reflect anger or hurt feelings or accusations, the board loses its whole point (and I have to delete a whole entire thread that might otherwise have very helpful information).
I think this whole event has been overblown a bit, and it's completely resolved now, both on the Diet board and here in the Living Room. So I'm going to ask everyone to please just let the subject drop, and move on to other posts, and I'll lock this thread so the whole issue can just be gracefully closed.
XXOO Heather
-------------------- Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!
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