My Dad Is At Peace Now - Can't Believe It's Been A Month (Updates 1-11 Below)
#298023 - 01/25/07 09:12 AM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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I was not sure if I was gonna post about this or not...... but I need to be able to vent MORE or I was gonna burst.... (Thanks Kandee, Jen, & Melissa for letting me vent last week, when Dad came to talk to me about things...love you guys.)
He had a Dr appointment at 4pm and before it was over.... was told he NEEDED to go to the ER right after they were done there...... things were NOT RIGHT......
I don't have any news yet this morning.... but when my sister & I left the ER this morning at 12:30am...... they were starting the admitting papers and had ordered food for him to eat..... his blood sugar was in the low 60's (normal 80-110) and is resting heart rate was only 34-44 (basically would stop breathing) and would get up to about 51-54 when he was really moving around. He was very uncomfortable... he was in a bed that is really used for "giving birth" with a bag pad on it.... but still for a guy his size (approx 460) it sucked.
Anyway.... he is lethargic (sp?), he is dehydrated and his kidney's are not working right. A second cardiologist is coming in this morning...... he has a blockage of some kind.... but I don't understand...so I will wait until I get clarification on that.
My Mom is wound up so tight...... her top is bound to blow!!
My Sister is more worried about Mom's health (Lupus) and mental state..... she takes care of her Mom too.
Shane is in LA on business this week......
I'm TRYING to be the strong one and spent most of the time in the room with him.... letting him talk (when he was awake enough).... he was holding my hand so tight.... he is scarred.... but guys he is SO OUT OF CONTROL..... I don't know that he will ever HELP HIMSELF get better????? He is so depressed ............
He was supposed to have that appointment for the lap band TODAY, to see if they WOULD do it for him due to his other health issues..... which is not gonna happen...., he went to a meeting last week.
He is self employed...... so while he is not able to work..... the expenses are still adding up... with no income! 
I have no idea what the future will bring?????
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
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Oh, Shell! BIG HUGS! I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. You and your family are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.
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>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<
Michelle
IBS-A, pain predominant
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Big big big hugs, Shell! You know that I am here for you. Will talk to you more through email/IM.
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- Jennifer
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UPDATE #1
#298031 - 01/25/07 10:20 AM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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Mom just called..... his DR's have not been in there yet..... but per the nurse.... they think he might have pneumonia in one lung, he has had his insulin and is eating breakfast. His blood sugar was just 170 (60's last night). They are not sure about the block.... his heart rate is up a little and might be more Afib (irregular, but not really for him). We will see what the cardiologist says later today. He was able to finally pee (they are pushing fluids to MAKE his kidney's work).
Mom will call later......
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Sorry to hear that Shell, hope he's feeling better soon.
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Kat
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Big hugs and lots of love. Sending him get well soon vibes.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Big hugs Shell! I hope everything works out. Let us know when you hear more.
xxoo
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Sorry to hear that. I'm having some issues with my mom right now so I'm right there with ya. Sending hugs.
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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I hope your dad is okay, Shell! What an awful lot of worry to contend with. You hang in there and just take it a minute at a time. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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--------------------
***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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*big hugs*
#298081 - 01/25/07 03:37 PM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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Don't I know this stuff sucks!
You and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers. *more hugs*
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(((hugs))) I hope he recovers quickly. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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**Huge Hugs**
#298091 - 01/25/07 04:46 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hi Shell!
***massive hugs***
I have only just seen this post now, I am sorry that I didn't write to you sooner! I am so sorry that your Dad isn't doing very well and that you are having to deal with such a stressful situation while Shane is away!
It sounds like good news from your Update # 1 that his numbers seem to be more stable than they were last night, so I will keep him in my thoughts and you as well!
If you ever want to chat, you have my eMail and I will send you my cell number if you ever want to hear a friendly voice just let me know!
Lots of love, and good thoughts!
**more hugs**
Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Big Hugs Shell!! I'm sorry to hear your dad is so ill!
There is a certain agony that doctors make the families go through, waiting for results and diagnosis. I understand how you feel as both my mom and grandma are ill and partially undiagnosed as to why too.
I'll add him and you to my prayers.
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up! 
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Oh Shell, thanks for the update...it all sounds better than the first report. My prayers are with you and your dad and your family -- hoping he can make a turn around soon so he can start feeling better.
(((hugs)))
Kandee
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UPDATE #2
#298166 - 01/26/07 01:25 PM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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Well, he is really is a scary place right now....... one side of his heart is not working right, which is causing the flow to be really messed up, therefore the kidneys are not working..... his kidneys are only working at 10%, they started him on new meds to help the heart and hopefully the kidney will follow......he needs to get back to at least 30% or he will end up dialysis (3 days a week for 4 hours at a time FOR LIFE). His blood sugar dropped to the 70's again and they are playing with his insulin levels to see how his body reacts to different amounts. He got up to go to the bathroom and on the return to the bed he got very short of breath and he kinda freaked out.... they now have him on oxygen. That is all for now.....
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Hang in there, Shell.
Also, just for a little hope: I do know of someone whose kidney function came back, so he was able to quit dialysis! If it comes to that, there might be a road back.
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Oh geez!! Well, we'll continue to send good vibes your way. I'm so glad Shane will be home tonight to take care of you.
((((HUGS))))
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It will all work out the way it's meant to. Hang in there.
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Shell, I don't know what to say except that I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I think about my own dad and how I'd feel if I had to see him so sick - it must be so overwhelming for you right now. I'm sending you more hugs and prayers.
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Re: UPDATE #2
#298186 - 01/26/07 03:53 PM
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suzyq
Reged: 05/22/03
Posts: 630
Loc: Northern Ont. Canada
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Shell; prayers and thoughts are with you, Shane and family. Take care of yourself so you can be strong for your Dad. Sending hugs ((((( ))))). Sue
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Shell,
Many hugs to you. I know how scary this sort of thing can be - my Dad was very ill in 2005. I hope your father get better soon.
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-Carol
IBS-A
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Re: UPDATE #2
#298251 - 01/27/07 09:23 AM
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Toady
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 1299
Loc: A small city, Northwestern Ontario, Canada
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Hey Shell,
Just wanted to let you know I'm still thinking about you and your dad. It's Saturday now, hopefully you know more now, and I hope your dad is improving.
I'm still waiting for word on my grandma's diagnosis. She's been in hospital since Tuesday with really low blood counts for no reason, even after 4 plasma infusions.
HUGS!!
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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Thinking and praying for you and your dad Shell. Big hugs!! I hope things get better!!
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Ditto - thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
--------------------
septic hip with birth of daughter - 7/99
hip replacement - 9/03
MS limbo since 5/04
dx IBS
dx compressed L7-8 and T4-5
dx RLS
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send good thoughts your way! hang in there - things will work out.
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--------------------
***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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even if his problems seem overwhelming and scary at this point... there is hopefully relief in sight.. if he is diabetic a need for dialysis isn't that unusual and he can do it and lead a relatively normal life... trust me- my best friend runs a dialysis center... and they work hard to make their hours work for their patients convenience too...
it does sound like he needs to take better care of himself, maybe this scare will help encourage that...
Amie
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Re: UPDATE #2
#298384 - 01/29/07 08:46 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Oh sweetie, I know this has got to be awful. Remember we are here for you and we all love you. Love and hugs
--------------------
Taking it one day at a time.....
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UPDATE #3
#298395 - 01/29/07 11:10 AM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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Well, I'm at work today.... having a hard time focusing...but I've got lots to get done before the end of fiscal year on wed.
Spent the weekend at the hospital......
When I got there Fri night things had taken a turn for the worse.... renal failure and congestive heart failure ... his lungs were filling with fluid and he was really having a hard time breathing... he still needs the oxygen to breath....they have him on Dobutamine which is a heart med to help it work he went in Sat morning to have a catheter put in to start dialysis right away... his breathing was so bad they could not get him to lay flat for the 40 mins or so that it takes to put it in, so he just has a temporary one so the tubes and adapters are coming right out of his neck....so that is uncomfortable for him too, but that is all they could do at the time. His highest blood sugar was 496 (note: 70's on Wed) and when I left last night at 9:30pm he was at 405. Another thing is he is not eating.... everything makes him sick.... so they are going to have to start something today (Mon) for that. So, the first dialysis they removed close to 9 pounds of fluid... that also takes into account the 2 units of blood and 3 units of plasma he got. The second dialysis they removed close to 7 pounds..... he looked really good for about 2 hours after and then he started getting the shaky and weak again....
The last update I had was from about 9am today (Mon) from my sister.....
"Mom & Dad slept for about 1 1/2 hrs. She said once he got in the bed he kinda started coughing again and asked for cough syrup. Anyway, he thinks his endurance is up. His blood sugar is still very high (3 or 4 hundreds-can't remember) even after giving him whatever it was (lacics?) throughout the night thru IV.
They have contacted the nutritional people. I think he needs to eat or get nourishment somehow to regulate it better. I told her I would be there about 12:30pm
He has to have the permanent catheter put in right after dialysis whenever that starts. It will be 4 1/2 hrs long today."
So, I will do a few personal & business things for Mom & Dad at lunch and right after work and then go stay with Dad so Mom can get a nap or eat or whatever......
Then our next task is to find out about the Kidney centers that will take patients of my Dad's weight for dialysis.... (they have to have chairs big enough for him).... since this will be happening 3-4 times a week for about 4 hours at a time..... we want to have a place that is the closest to the house..... since Mom works nights it is really gonna be tricky getting him to his appointments during the day (when she normally sleeps)...... but between everyone in the family we will HAVE to make it work.
We still do not have any idea when he might be able to come home..... if I were going to guess.... I'd say he will be there at least another week maybe????
OK... no spell check...I'm having a hard enough time keeping my eyes open....
Love you guys and thank you sooo very much for your comments... I've read them... it is great to have such a wonderful support system here..... {{sniff sniff}}
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you Shell...
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~jules
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Re: UPDATE #3
#298423 - 01/29/07 03:43 PM
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suzyq
Reged: 05/22/03
Posts: 630
Loc: Northern Ont. Canada
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thanks for the update....thinking of you and your family....sending hugs(((( )))) and saying a prayer for everyone. Take care of yourself as well. Sue
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Shell - I'm still thinking about you, hoping that your dad will start doing better. I'm glad you have Shane to support you during this scary time.
Big hugs!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Shell
#298437 - 01/29/07 06:22 PM
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hohoyumyum
Reged: 05/28/03
Posts: 2263
Loc: SacTown, CA
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I'm so sorry about your dad. My mom has congestive heart failure and there have been many times over the years that we though we were going to lose her. Somehow, be it luck or miracle or a little of both, she is doing very well now. Her heart is strong enough to get her through normal day to day routines and she is healthy enough to take care of herself. At one point, when she was in the hospital, I accepted that she was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it. That's what we were being told. She's so darn stubborn though. She says she wasn't meant to go then. This was almost 6 years ago. Sometimes when things seem like there done, something happens and it all keeps going. I believe that there is a purpose to everything and that things that happen are meant to be. I know that doesn't mean much when those things are happening to you, but I find it to be a comforting thought.
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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I'll be thinking about you and hoping for the best.
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UPDATE #4
#298547 - 01/31/07 08:18 AM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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About 10 mins after my updates #3 (Monday) I got a call from my sister that I needed to leave work and get there right away.... he was having cardiac problems... and yes, he was on dialysis and suffered a mild heart attack (this is his 1st.... however it is NOT uncommon on his side of the family his father had 6 of them starting at the age of 35 and passed at the age of 67 from one). Anyway..... they stopped the dialysis and got him stable again.... Due to his weight they were not able to get him into the cath lab at the hospital he was at, so he has been moved to another one and will have an angiogram today and most likely will have some stents put in for blockages (he had that done in 1999-2000 also). They were able to GET HIM to WEAR a C-pap mask last night for his sleep apnea!! It is cool.... they have a web cam in his room that he talked to the Dr with this morning....
His blood sugar is now in the high 100's.... and they have removed about 19 pounds of extra fluid while on dialysis.
He still needs the permeant catheter put in for the dialysis.... not sure if they will do that today or not??
I'm on my way back to the hospital.... came home to get some sleep and a shower.... Mom, Sister, & I are taking shifts.... one sleeps in the room, one at home, and one stays awake and helps/watches him....
PLEASE PRAY FOR HIM/US.......
Love you guys!! xoxo
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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thats great news! it sounds like he's doing much better... and they now know how to treat him.. hope it continues
--------------------
Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Re: UPDATE #4
#298558 - 01/31/07 10:07 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Love and hugs. Will keep your family in my thoughts.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Re: UPDATE #4
#298600 - 01/31/07 03:17 PM
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Flipada
Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 1026
Loc: West Michigan, USA
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You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
--------------------
Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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Praying for him & all of you! Try to take care of yourself also.
xxoo
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Re: UPDATE #4
#298659 - 02/01/07 10:24 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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I haven't been replying to every update, but that doesn't mean you guys haven't been in my thoughts... keep us posted! I know how scary this is for all of you. 
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You and your family are in my prayers. Take care of yourself.
--------------------
***********************
IBS-A, with bloating and gas as my predominant symptoms
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UPDATE #5
#298913 - 02/04/07 09:21 PM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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I'm just too tired right now to do an update... but I'm asking for all prayer and positive vibes to be sent.... surgery/proceders Monday about 2pm'ish.... I'll give details later...but he is a very high risk patient.... LOTS has happened and changed since the last update, I've been pretty much living at the hospital....I'm going to get something to eat and get to bed....I have to go to work for a few hours at least in the morning....
Love you guys!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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I'm keeping your father and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry to hear what you're all going through.
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Jen
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I'm thinking of all of you. I hope everything turns out alright. But if it doesn't, I hope that you and you're family can stay strong together. I'm sending all of you my hope and love and prayers.
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Re: UPDATE #5
#298928 - 02/05/07 07:04 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Love and hugs!!!!!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Praying for your family, Shell!
Kim
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God is Faithful!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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UPDATE #6
#299027 - 02/05/07 10:40 PM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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Just got home from the hospital (10:30pm)..... surgery will not be until 7:40am Tues.... I'll be leaving the house at 5:00am to go see him.... then go to work... I'll update again when I can.....
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*HUG* I don't get on much on the weekends these days and yesterday was a zoo here at work... so I missed your last update... but I hope everything goes smoothly for him.
--------------------
Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Re: UPDATE #6
#299056 - 02/06/07 07:30 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Hang in there sweetie. Love and hugs
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Hugs to you. I hope the surgery goes smoothly and that your Dad gets better soon.
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-Carol
IBS-A
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Re: UPDATE #6
#299078 - 02/06/07 08:33 AM
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K2
Reged: 01/29/06
Posts: 1191
Loc: Canada
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Hope the surgery goes well and that things improve for him.
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Kat
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--------------------
***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Shell
#299157 - 02/06/07 06:52 PM
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Janey
Reged: 10/25/03
Posts: 1716
Loc: Maryland
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I am so sorry to hear about your Dad and everything he is going through. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Love and hugs,
--------------------
Janey
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UPDATE #7
#299243 - 02/07/07 01:36 PM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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OK, I'm not sure what all was in the other updates, so I'll try to keep it short.....
Dad's kidneys are no longer working and he HAD started dialysis with a temp cath in his neck....which he later PULLED OUT (ouch) and then was restrained AGAIN....he had another temp cath put in his chest Tues and also the permeant one in his arm that will take 1-2 month to mature before he can use it...., he had a baby heart attack last Mon and due to long term untreated sleep apnea he has damage to his lungs, he will not use the BI-pap or C-pap machines (he is closterfobic) so, he is not getting enough oxygen. The Dr's said he was too big of a risk to put under for surgery.... they were afraid of him coding on the table and he would end up on a respirator and never come off of it. So......... he had a tracheotomy Tues also...it was/IS very traumatic and they ended up "putting him to sleep" for the night to stop the panic, coughing, & bleeding.... then they also put him on a ventilator, not because he NEEDED IT, but to help him relax for the night and let the clot form around the trach.... I went in to see him last night when he was still struggling to breath and with fear in his eyes (he can't speak for a week) he motioned for me to leave the room... I HATE SEEING HIM LIKE THIS!! A pacemaker was going to be put in on Wed, but they are holding off on that due to everything else he just went through. He also saw a Neurologist and will be seeing a speech therapist.... his words are slurred, but the therapy will not happen for another week since he will not be able to talk for a week after the tracheotomy. His blood sugar is better. His skin is breaking down and he has red rash like spots all over...that are also being treated. As of Tues morning..... since he was admitted on Jan 25th he has lost 44.4 pounds. He has not been out of the bed since last Tues 1/30...other then to be moved to the OR table. He had physical therapy one day for about 20 mins but it took 3 people just to set him on the side of the bed....and it did not last long... he is just too weak...
I will go there tonight and if he still does not want me to see him, then I will talk with Mom for a few and then get her to go home. She went to work last night for the first time (she works nights) and is sleeping now, but I'm sure she will be heading there soon....it is about a 40 min drive for her each way.... but she is off the next two nights.
There is more I'm sure.... but MY brain is all scattered...
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Re: UPDATE #7
#299244 - 02/07/07 01:43 PM
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Toady
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 1299
Loc: A small city, Northwestern Ontario, Canada
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I keep thinking about you and your dad and hoping for the best. It is aweful when someone you love is so ill and you are helpless to do anything but support them. I'm going through the same with my grandma and mom right now.
I'll keep you and your dad in my prayers.
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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I love you.
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- Jennifer
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Re: UPDATE #7
#299251 - 02/07/07 02:18 PM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Oh sweetie, more love and hugs
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Re: UPDATE #7
#299265 - 02/07/07 03:45 PM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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*big hugs*, Shell. I'd do it in person if I could.
Thinking of you and your family....
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I'm here for you. If you need someone to talk to, shoot me an e-mail and I'll send you my number. hohoyumyum@hotmail.com
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Ugh, trachs are nasty but they do their job. My dad had to have a trach when he had his tongue cancer surgery 2 years ago and it was uncomfortable and weird for him. As the person who got to sit with him in the hospital for the first few days, I got to learn how to not freak out when it bleeds (but do call the nurses).
I hope he can learn to put up with it...and that he gets it out real soon!
--AC
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What a mess Shell.. it sounds like they are doing the best they can for him... but he has to want help for them to be able to do it too... I know that his outlook is a big part of that... The trach will help a lot though. my husband has sleep apnea and fights using his c-pap, maybe if I share this with him it will help... but scary for you and yours and you are all in our prayers...
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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So Sorry Shell,
I haven't been on the boards much lately and just noticed the post about your Dad. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know it is a very tough time for you. This brings back memories of my Dad when he was so ill many years ago.
Barbie
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Please allow yourself some time to relax! This will help you be a better support!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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UPDATE #8
#299634 - 02/12/07 01:01 PM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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Oh my goodness.... I don't even know where to start......so excuss the rambling!
The healing from the tracheotomy is taking longer then expected.... he is in a lot of pain from being in that bed 24/7..... he has cellulitis on his stomach.... he was given an antibiotic for it that then caused an allergic reaction and he is literally covered from head to toe in rashes that itch like crazy!! The opening from the tracheotomy is still bleeding and they are not sure how long it will be before then can try to give him another swallow test to see if it is working right so he can start talking again. Anyway, when I got there Sun..... he was having dialysis and when this is happening, the morphine and benadryl are being filtered out as well when the blood is being cleaned, so he was in a lot of pain. And.... the freaky part..... he thinks everyone at the hospital is truly trying to kill him..... his mental state is really messed up due to the toxins in his body. He is on a feeding tube in his nose..... he was on one, but it "came out" Sat afternoon.....they put another one in, but when I came back to see him Sun...they still were NOT using it.... said they could not tell in the X-ray if it was in the right place of not.... (well duh...then FIX IT)  ..... stupid people sometimes!! The arm with the permanent line for dialysis is HUGE... so swollen....and the nurses just let it hanging there, they don't even try to keep it elevated... makes me mad! AND.... he was laying on a bedpan for 3 freaken hours....he was PISSED OFF!!  He is also jondus (yellow skin & eyes), eyes are from the renal failure but his liver numbers are off now too....... what is next? Your guess is as good as mine........ as of right now..... at least two weeks on the feeding tube and a bare minimum of another month in ICU before he could MAYBE be transferred to another unit or rehab... he will NOT go home straight from the hospital..... he will have to go to some kind of skilled nursing facility. It's gonna be a LONG HAUL...... he is "stable" and I guess at this point..... that is the best I can ask for and keep praying for the rest.
P.S. about 15 mins after I posted the #8 update: Sister called...... he pulled his feeding tube out AGAIN!
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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(((((((Shell)))))))
If the nurses/doctors aren't worried about the trach bleeding, you shouldn't worry. My dad had that happen quite a lot while he was in the hospital, and it totally freaked me out. But none of the staff seemed worried, and it ended up healing just fine.
Also, my dad had to stay on his feeding tube for a heck of a long time b/c of the trach - it sucked, but it was just one of those things. He got off it after something like 6 weeks (!!!), and now you couldn't even tell, just like the trach.
And yeah, he was pretty pissy the whole time he was in the hospital. 
I'll be thinking about you and your family....
--AC
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Quote:
he is "stable" and I guess at this point..... that is the best I can ask for and keep praying for the rest.
I'm glad to hear that he is stable. I'm so sorry that all of you have to go through this. You're all in my prayers.
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Many hugs to you, and good thoughts for your Dad and your family.
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-Carol
IBS-A
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Re: UPDATE #8
#299658 - 02/12/07 03:31 PM
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Toady
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 1299
Loc: A small city, Northwestern Ontario, Canada
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More HUGS and prayers heading to you and your dad.
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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Re: UPDATE #8
#299673 - 02/12/07 05:18 PM
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Flipada
Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 1026
Loc: West Michigan, USA
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STill thinking about you and your family. I hope everything turns out the way you want it to. Big hugs.
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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wish I could do or say something to make this easier but unfortunately no one can..
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Continued hugs and prayers Shell!
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Shell, I am so sorry to hear about all of the problems your Dad is having. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. (((Big hug))))
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I'm still keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Shell. Keep us posted, and please take some time to relax with Shane today!
--------------------
Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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UPDATE #9
#299891 - 02/15/07 10:13 AM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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Well, lets see......his mental state have been kinda freaky and I have images in my head that I just can't shake....he is very paranoid and NOT HIMSELF!! But, he has calmed down alittle. On Tues he was restrained again after getting a little wild at one of the nurses..... he grabbed a syringe and twisted her arm. At the same time raised his fist to Mom and called my sister a bi_ _ch, by mouthing it.... he still can't talk..... (we don't think he REALLY knew who he was talking to and he has NEVER raised a hand to any of us) Mom has requested that they ASK him if he wants something for pain (morphine) and not just give it to him to keep him calm. He is a little brat and keeps taking off him leads and oxygen and tucking them under his butt so nobody can put them back on him....but what he does not plan on is.... there are always more of where those came from....LOL He got 2 more units of blood, 1 more of fresh frozen plasma Wed. He has smearing... meaning instead of BM's he is having just a small amount of blood. Dr thinks he might have a bleeding ulcer or something is happening due to stress. He is having dialysis done right now (Thur 9:30am) and he had a central line put in between his shoulder blade and neck on Wed and they started using it today (Thurs) for nourishment, vitamins, & minerals. He has passed 2 of the 3 swallow evaluations.....but there is still bleeding from the trech that is being looked into... so now "real food" for a while still. They are concerned now with him being so jondus and are doing blood test to check the liver functions..... great all he needs is one more thing messed up. His body chemistry is just all whacked out! Mom will be there to see him about noon and my sister & I will go after work for a few hours. I'll post another update soon....
Thanks for everyone for the love, support, and prayers...
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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*HUG*
#299905 - 02/15/07 12:50 PM
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khyricat
Reged: 08/05/04
Posts: 3612
Loc: Michigan
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remember the bitter angry persona is probably a reaction or blood sugar issues... or some reaction to all the meds adn toxins in his system.. *HUG*
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Things will work out, Shell. I'm sorry you all have to go through this. Hang in there.
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Shell, BIG HUGS! It must be really scary to see your dad not act like himself. The combination of his messed up body chemistry, meds, general hospital stress, change in eating habits are probably contributing a lot to his mood and behavior. He just sounds really out of it.
I'm thinking of you and your family, sending you hugs, and praying that your dad gets better soon.
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He is at peace now........
I'll post more in a few days...
Love you guys......
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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I'm so sorry, deepest condolences to you and your family. Stay strong.
[[[[[[[[[big hugs]]]]]]]]]]]
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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/
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I feel so bad for you and your family. Try to keep strong. I know it isn't easy. Love ya
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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So sorry to hear that, Shell. My heart goes out to you and your family. Big hugs!
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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**
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Oh Shell...
#300070 - 02/18/07 07:03 AM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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I know how horrible this is... I know it's kind of an odd offer, but if you ever need to talk, I'm here.
You and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers. My deepest, most understanding condolences.
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My Condolences
#300075 - 02/18/07 07:47 AM
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Snorkie
Reged: 02/15/05
Posts: 1999
Loc: Northern Illinois, USA
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I am so sorry for your loss.
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Dear Shell,
I am so sorry for your loss and that of your families. Please accept my condolences and take good care of yourself.
Signed,
Rollerskatz (Shirley)
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You are in my thoughts and prayers during this horrible time. Please take solace in your family and friends and in knowing that you were a wonderful daughter.
(((((Hugs)))))
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Losing someone you love is already hard, but I think it's harder when you've been fighting so hard to save that person and there's nothing you can do. I know nothing we can say can make you feel better, but I'll be thinking about you.
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Deepest Condolences
#300082 - 02/18/07 09:58 AM
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Toady
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 1299
Loc: A small city, Northwestern Ontario, Canada
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Oh Shell, my heart goes out to you and your family.
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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I'm very sorry about your dad.
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My thoughts are with you and your family.
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Oh Shell I am so sorry! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now. Please take care of yourself.
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Re: UPDATE #10
#300094 - 02/18/07 12:25 PM
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suzyq
Reged: 05/22/03
Posts: 630
Loc: Northern Ont. Canada
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Yes Shell he is at peace now...take care of yourself. Prayers for you, Shane and your family. Sue
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Quote:
He is at peace now
Yes, he is at peace. You're family is in my prayers. I hope that you are able to support each other through this. It's okay not to be strong. Sometimes you just have to cry and let things out. I'm here if there is anything I can do (I've got an ear to offer, at least).
--------------------
***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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My Sympathy
#300100 - 02/18/07 02:55 PM
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Betharoo
Reged: 01/28/05
Posts: 815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Shell, Shane and Family
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you know what we will all be here for you as you have been for us. Although you would rather have him here, take peace in knowing that he doesn't have to suffer and be uncomfortable anymore. You have been so supportive and I wish you continued strength in the time ahead.
Lots of love,
Bethany
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Microscopic Colitis, IBS-A, GERD, Hiatal Hernia
Bethany, Ontario, Canada
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So Sorry Shell! YOu are right though, he is not suffering anymore!
Praying for you and your family....
BIG HUGS!!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Shell
#300121 - 02/18/07 07:38 PM
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Janey
Reged: 10/25/03
Posts: 1716
Loc: Maryland
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I am so sorry! I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Lots of Love and hugs sweetie,
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Janey
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My prayers go with you and your family. Sincerest condolences. Blessings,
Kim
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God is Faithful!
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*HUG* my condolences to you and your family...
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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I am so sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts. Love and hugs
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Shell,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know there aren't any words to make you feel better at a time like this, so just know that you and your family are in my thoughts that you get through this difficult time.
***hugs***
Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Shell, my prayers are with you and your family. It seems that God has blessed you with lots of years of memories with your dad. I pray those memories bring you peace and put a smile on your face.
Blessings,
Rachel
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Shell,
So sorry about your Dad. May he rest in peace.
Terry
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I'm so sorry. Hugs and good thoughts to you.
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-Carol
IBS-A
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I am so sorry! hang in there and take care of YOU! Your in my thoughts and prayers!
Emmasmom
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I'm so sorry, Shell. Hugs for you, Shane, and the rest of your family.
--AC
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sending lots of hugs your way.....
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Natalie
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Shell, My deepest sympathies to you and your family...
~ Amy
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Amy
IBS-A
Stable and thankful!
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Shell, love and sympathy to you and your family right now x x x x
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I'm thinking of you and your entire family during this horribly difficult time. If I can help in any way, please let me know.
Take good, good care.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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I am so sorry, Shell. Take care.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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my heart just broke for you. i've been lurking but not tlaking. God bless him and allof you.
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Keep on keepin' on...
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I can't believe it's been a month already and I'm just now able to write about it.....
As you all know.... my Dad is now at peace..... He passed on Sat, 2/17 at the young age of 58. What finally took him was a heart attack (it happened at 3:30am none of the family was with him WHEN THAT happened, by the time we all got there 4:15am, HE was really already gone and had no idea that we where were even there)….he was just so sick and not strong enough to make it without all the meds they were pumping into him and the vent that was keeping him going.... after spiking a temp of 104 that they were not able to bring down and still no response from him at all....we called ALL the family and many were able to come to see him and say goodbye…. we had him removed from everything and he passed peacefully and naturally in less then 5 mins (5:30pm).
Per the death certificate: cardiogenic shock, acute respiratory failure, pneumonia, chronic obesity hypoventilation syndrome, end stage renal disease, sepsis, and cellulites. He was one sick man!
There was no service at his request, but there was a gathering at the house on 2/25....it went very well... I continued to be a leaky faucet and the slide show that I made went over very well.....we had about 40 people...in a very small house.... it was just so sad....that it took a death to get us ALL together in one place.... Dad would have loved the kids!
I was glad the gathering was over..... was so tired.....but felt bad going from having 40 people there to just leaving Mom ALONE...... But, she is doing ok..... I go there every couple of days to deal with "stuff"......
If you want to read the obit, you can do so here http://www.legacy.com/NWclassifieds/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=86590220 ...and you're also welcome to sign the guest book and very a few pictures.
I called Fitz (that HOT radio guy) 100.7 The Wolf the night of Sat 2/24 and dedicated the song playing on my myspace page www.myspace.com/shellmarr to my Dad...... I just sat in the car and CRIED..... then dried off and went in the house...... poor Shane feels so helpless when I leak..... he does not know what to do.....sometimes I think if he did not get up and hug, hold, touch, love me..... it would stop faster..... but even when he is not there..... it just keeps leaking.....
This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, and some of you know the things I've been through… I think about him all the time… the things we did do together and the things we never got to do.
Everyone…please make time for your loved ones and DO those things you always talk about doing…..you never know when someone's time is up…don't miss out on those things like I did. And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, take care of yourselves…. eat better, get to the gym, everything that took my father…was in some way or another related to his weight…. It was a real eye opener…. You have NO IDEA until you see it..and I have… how important it really is….
Again, thank you so much everyone for your love and support…. I've really felt the outpouring…..it is unbelievable. I love you guys!
I LOVE AND MISS YOU DADDY!! XOXO
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Oh Shell, I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better. You have a place in my heart and I wish you and your family all the best. I'm always here if you need or want to talk.
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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both what happened with your dad and the scare with Bill's mom 2 weeks ago now have been real wake up calls to me. What reminders that life is short and we can't control it at all... I know I am going next month (surgery is this week or we'd be going sooner) to see my grandparents.
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Shell- My heart aches for you. I have been praying for you and will continue to do so. I can't imagine the pain you must be in. My dad is also 58 and I honestly don't know what I would do without him or my mom. Gather strength from you family. The pain will never go away but it will get easier as time goes by. Big hugs sweetie and you can talk about your dad anytime here! We all love you and care about you!
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From the obituary, it's clear your father was blessed with a large, loving family. I know how much you all must miss him.
Take care.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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sorry to hear of your dad. Hope things get better for you & your family. I know situations like this can seem to go on forever, but it will get better. Love ya, prayin' for your strength...
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Kiwi
IBS-C
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Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!
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