Re: PMs
#232628 - 12/19/05 01:45 PM
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Quote:
I've been debating writing this or not, but in my case I posted for several years before growing increasingly uncomfortable with the overall attitude and environment here. Although I don't feel I could participate in the larger community ever again, and I don't flatter myself that the larger community is really missing my presence, I would like to be able to respond to particular topics, ask questions on the diet board, etc.
I know exactly how you feel, Jenny. Well said.
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- Jennifer
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that would change this?
- H
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Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!
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Quote:
I had no idea people felt this way - why? And what can I do that would change this?
- H
I sure wish I knew how to answer this Heather...  You've got a BIG group of people... But I AM glad that everyone is letting everyone know how they feel...that is great this is getting out in the open.
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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I am sorry you feel this way  Again, it's just my thought or opinion. I could be totally wrong. To be honest with you, I've been posting over a year too and I DO notice when people who had posted when I first started STOP posting. However, the newer ones I can't keep track of who started and who stopped. It's very hard since there are so many users. So to say that you weren't missed is also unfair. But yes, there are several "clicks" that do only answer to certain posts but there's really nothing you can do about it cause it's inevitable that it happens pretty much everywhere in life. I'm not bothered by it but I can see maybe some people are.
I can tell you that whenever you answered a post I remember admiring your answers because they sounded very educated and I was always interested in what you had to say. I also did notice at one time that you hadn't posted in the LR in quite a while but sometimes people disappear for months and then return for whatever reason. That could have been you for all I/we knew. Also some people tell us when they've had enough and are leaving. Not sure if you did.
I just wanted to say that basically having PMing or not having PMing would really make no difference to me. I could take it or leave it. I think if someone really wants to get in touch with someone else privately, get their email that's all.
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Chinagrl
#232666 - 12/19/05 05:43 PM
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Sand
Reged: 12/13/04
Posts: 4490
Loc: West Orange, NJ (IBS-D)
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Quote:
Although I don't feel I could participate in the larger community ever again, and I don't flatter myself that the larger community is really missing my presence, I would like to be able to respond to particular topics, ask questions on the diet board, etc.
I'm just a little confused - an apparently recurrent state with me these days. Are you saying that PM would make it easier for you to start participating in the Boards again? If so, could you explain why or how? (I'm getting the feeling I may not actually understand PM after all.) If you'd rather do this "off-Board", my email is in my profile.
Thanks.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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I've left the boards twice, but like a bad penny I keep coming back. It feels like home here. For me, I'm grateful to you, Heather, to have this vehicle to freely discuss anything and everything. I believe most of us feel that way, at least I'd like to think so.
I got so much from the Boards when I was initially diagnosed. You, Heather, the Boards and Michael did so much for me, I feel I need to do whatever I can to help others in return. I'm here to stay. (Well, okay, I may not post as much as I used to, 'cause I was spending WAAAY too much time here, but nevertheless, I'm here for the long haul.)
I'm hoping this is just a passing thing, 'cause we all need each other. I found that out the hard way.
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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To answer your question Sand- private messaging would allow me to participate but fly under the radar. Like, if I wanted to answer your question but not have everyone see it, or me, or that I'm even here, I could do it through a private message. I actually have your email, so I could just email you, but sometimes that seems strange and a bit more personal (especially when you don't know people's real names.  ). With private messaging I could tell Michele how happy I am that she got a puppy in stealth mode- and not worry about getting caught up in living room drama again. 
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Hey Lisa and Shelby-
Thanks guys. I wasn't fishing for people to tell me they missed me though, I swear. I think any time there's a large group of people, and it's the internet where you can't see people smiling, or you don't take the time to think before you post, there's bound to be a lot of drama. I was really bothered by some of the drama in the past. Like I was telling Sand, sometimes people don't want to post their emails in a public location (and I don't blame them), and it gets confusing when you're emailing and you have to explain who you are and what you're referring to. I honestly don't think private messaging would change anything for those of you who like to participate in the Living Room. It would just make it possible for some of us, like the other Jennifer and I to have a central hub and way of talking to people about IBS and IBS related issues without people even knowing we're here.
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Back to Chinagrl
#232716 - 12/19/05 08:17 PM
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Sand
Reged: 12/13/04
Posts: 4490
Loc: West Orange, NJ (IBS-D)
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Your thinking on this sort of makes sense to me for The Living Room stuff, although I think Jen1013's points about how vital the Living Room can be with full participation are good ones. For the other more "technical" Boards, though, I worry that people PMing will take information away from the Boards. For example, if you have something to say about a question on the Diet Board, that would be of value to everyone there and it would be (is) a shame to lose that.
I guess everyone's different. I would feel more comfortable emailing someone on the Boards than PMing her or him. I figure if someone puts his or her email in his or her profile (English is a pain to use sometimes), it means s/he is willing to be emailed out of the blue.
As for real names versus Board names, a rose by any other name... 
BTW, the idea of using PM - or email - to talk about other people on the Board doesn't bother me. Gossip is inevitable and I choose to assume that anyone who is talking about me is only saying good things. Naive, perhaps, but I sleep better with that attitude. 
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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of stuff that bothers me, irritates me, or annoys me about the Boards, but none of it is anything you could do anything about. And my list today is different from my list 3 months ago. And I'm pretty sure everyone who has such a list would mention different stuff than I do. I think it's inevitable when you have a large heterogeneous group that there are going to be frictions, hurt feelings, what Chinagrl has called "drama", and so on.
I could also give you a list of stuff about the Boards that pleases me, amuses me, comforts me, and helps me. When the bad list seems to outweigh the good list, I just back off for a while until I more clearly remember all the good stuff.
As far as I'm concerned, Heather, you do an excellent job of giving the Boards enough rein to run a little, but pulling up hard on the bit when things go too far. (I've never been on a horse in my life so I have no idea why I'm suddenly off and running with this metaphor.) I think that's really all you can do and beyond that the flavor of the Boards results from the people who are posting on them.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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