Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Question for Heather

because i have had such great responses from people when i tell them i have stomach problems and can't eat what's available. i think it's 'cause i always start with flattery and then definitively and confidently say "but i can't eat xyz because i will definitely get sick. it's not your cooking/the chef's cooking, it's the milk/bread/fried-ness.

really, so many people these days are on this or that diet, i'm surprised anyone bats an eye at all! i have a friend on weight watchers, a diabetic friend, and several friends doing low-carb, high-protein. oh, and there are a few friends who are vegetarians to some degree or another. no one really ever even asks me why i turn down cake or whatever. they just assume i'm dieting! and they're right, it's just not the kind of diet they think.

when i'm invited to someone else's house, i always offere to bring something. i say something like "what can i bring to help you out?" and then find something IBS friendly that goes with that. heck, i even made deviled eggs for an Easter get together, even though i can't eat them, but also took a potato salad that i CAN eat. that way i always know there's SOMETHING i can eat!

my favorite thing to take is the pumpkin cheesecake that's on the recipe boards. man, oh man, is that good! and everyone loves it. no one guesses that it's got tofu in it! YUM! the way i figure it, if i can't eat any of the meal, i ought to at least get some dessert!

i found that it was very important for me to take responsibility for myself. i'm not a b*tch, but if i tell someone politely that i can't partake in something they've made because it will negatively effect my health and they have a problem with that, then they'll just have to have a problem. i REFUSE -i FLAT OUT REFUSE! - to be sick just to save someone's feelings from being hurt. that's why i make sure i'm complimenting them while i turn it down. it's always the truth! "wow, that smells great, but unfortunately jalapeno poppers are stuffed with cheese and i can't have them. i sure wish i could!" or "you know how i love your triple chocolate cake, but ever since i started this diet for my tummy troubles i've been feeling really good and unfortunately cake is a no-no for me now. i really wish it weren't!" the other thing i occasionally do is say "you know i love your homemade ice cream, but that's really going to kill my stomach. you know i love it, though! tell ya what, i'm going to have ONE bite and just savor it!" (usually one bite isn't going to kill me, especially if i've had soluble fiber first!)

and i've never had anyone tell me it's all in my head, thank goodness, or i'd actually have to describe all the things i've gone through. really, they don't want to hear it! i'd make it down and dirty, too, man! i've been waiting for that, but everyone's being so darn NICE.

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