Help me!! I am scared of my wedding day.
#3240 - 03/18/03 08:34 PM
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Please help me!! I am getting married in 6 months, and am wearing the big wedding dress and having the big Catholic wedding and always have attacks when I get nervous. I am actually terrified of my wedding day. Of all of the problems people can have with weddings, my biggest fear is an attack. I, too, get fearful of going out of my house, how do I handle this. Any supplements? I get both sides of IBS. Please tell me someone else has gone through this. How can I prepare?
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It will be okay! My wedding is in May. (Oh my God, 2 Months away!) I have been doing a multiple of things. 1. started Heather's diet and got my IBS stableized. 2. did little wedding plans every day. I did all of the invatations, decorations, flowers, and gifts myself. 3. take one day a week off from wedding arrangements, and do what YOU need to do to de-stress, watch movies all day, read, go on walks, etc. 4. SLEEP! 5. Take vitamins and supplements, maybe even the stress reliever variety. I have been taking an herbal suppliment to help with stress, and I feel like I can make it. 6. Ask for help! 7.This is the best advise I've heard: The day of the wedding, don't think about what you need to do or what should have been done. If it is not done by that point it's not getting done. So, why worry. 8. If D is what happens when you get nervous, load up on your favorite anti-D meds, immoduim or whatever, before the ceremony. I think the ceremony is what has my nerves most. All the staring people! Yipes!
Anyway, I was where you are 3 months ago. And the most important thing I did was stablizing my IBS. I saw the Dr., started on meds (bentyl), and started Heather's diet. I haven't had D since January, when I went to see the Dr. (Had to run from the waiting room.) Now my biggest concern about the wedding is the in-laws, and not am I going to have an accident.
You will be in my thoughts.
Shawna 
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SLicK 
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Hang in there. I got through it, too. I took imodium. Another discreet thought - if you're that worried, you said your dress is big, right? Well, you could wear a little panty liner if it made you feel more comfortable. Then, you can just tear it off when you don't need it anymore. That day, I just said to heck with it all. IF it isn't done by now, it's not worth worrying about. Focus on getting through your vows. That was the toughest for me. Relax and breathe and enjoy it. You will be FINE. Take extra special care at least a week before your wedding - be VERY strict and safe with your diet. Stick to a bowl of rice or something very safe on the day. Take care.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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I got married in June and I wasn't yet diagnosed with IBS I just knew certain foods made me run to the bathroom.
What did I do? I just got up in the morning and told myself that anything that is not done cannot be done now. Then I just relaxed for the rest of the day. I did my entire wedding with my husband (we paid for it all and did all the plans and everything by ourselves - so there was definately stress there).
The good news - I never had "D". And I too had a poofy huge dress which took two people to help me go pee.
My best suggestion is make sure to tell your caterer you have food allergies. That's what they are there for - lord knows we paid ours enough that they should do supper the way you want.
Also - Just enjoy your day. Don't worry about having an attack worry about how you are going to spend the rest of your life with this man without killing him LOL.
I never once thought about if I was going to have an attack I just had a great time and though - awww a year of planning is almost over LOL.
Best wishes and congratulations,
Your day will turn out wonderful!
Lana_Marie
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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I got married six years ago and I didn't have IBS then but sometimes I would get D when I was nervous. I made sure I had Immodium but I did not need it. It was almost like I was out of my body as a spectator. I just took everything in and enjoyed the day. I still remember all the feeling and thoughts I had that day. I remember thinking my husband is really weird becuase he kept saying "I love you" during the vows. He is the romantic one and I am not. I actually wanted to laugh at him. Aren't I mean. He is so sweet and I am not. When we left for our honeymoon he kept saying I love you and I am the luckiest man in the world. And I was thinking oh no the presure of trying to live up to his expectations! It has been a great six years and I am looking forward to the next 50 years God willing.
I'm sorry just reminiscing. Just relax and enjoy. It only happens once, Lord willing. It is fun. All the attention you get and you won't get that attention again until you are pregnant and then after the baby, never again. Your children will get the attention. LOL.
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Everyone else's advice is the same as mine. Something as minor as a school play would give me an attack, though I didn't "feel" nervous. But my wedding day was episode free!! Because I determined that NO MATTER WHAT I was a princess that day and I was going to savor and enjoy every moment, that nothing could happen to make me upset or worried and that I was going to be happy and smile and just really enjoy the day. And I did!! Sure a couple little things went "wrong" but they made the day interesting. No attacks or pain hit me until after the honeymoon, maybe it was the let down of it all, who knows - point is I enjoyed my wedding day and my honeymoon!! Have a good perspective, avoid trigger foods, and get LOTS OF REST!! Good luck!!!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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I had the attitude of everyone else, too - this is my day, it's going to be wonderful and fun and exciting, and anything that's not done by the day itself is not worth worrying about. If something goes wrong, I'll send my maid of honor or my mom to deal with it - I'm just going to enjoy myself! And, even though my husband (along with all the groomsmen) got stuck on Mt. Rainier the night before the wedding, and had to be rescued by forest rangers, everything worked out just fine. It is a silly little trick, but sometimes just telling yourself that you are NOT going to worry, or get sick, but that everything will be fabulous and you will be happy, can really work. Especially on such a big day - when it finally arrives, it's such a release of all the build-up you might well find yourself totally relaxed and just rolling with everything without a care.
And I really did make the caterers adjust all their recipes to avoid any triggers and make things safe for me. The only exception was the cake - other than that I could eat plenty of everything without fear. It was very reassuring to know that I'd have lots to keep my tummy full and also to know that I'd enjoy my own reception, not just watch other people eat food I couldn't. I also gave the caterers specific orders to bring around everything to me first (it was waiter-passed, not a buffet or sit-down meal). They did, so I got plenty to eat, and it all came to me, which was lovely, as I was all over the place talking to people and such.
You will have a beautiful day!
- Heather
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Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!
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I don't remember having time to EAT at my reception. One slice of fruit and the one bite of cake my husband fed me. We had to stop for food before the flight to San Juan. 
Good luck!
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Yes! This is what everybody told me would happen - that I wouldn't have time to eat. That's why I ordered the waiters to bring food around to me first whenever they made a round! They probably thought I was weird, but so what? I really enjoyed the food.
- H
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Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!
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I just want to say thank you for all of your support. It's good to know that one of maybe the most stressful days of your life went symptom free for so many people. I am so appreciative of all of your comments, and it's so nice to finally have a forum where people actually understand where I am coming from. Everyone has helped calm my nerves a bit. Take care and I look forward to talking more with all of you.
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