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..Sex question
      #266820 - 05/31/06 07:21 PM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


I have a question about oral sex. If someone with IBS-C performs oral sex on their partner (male) and happens to swallow the semen, can this possibly cause an attack? Or bloating or something?

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Re: ..Look Alli new
      #266823 - 05/31/06 07:52 PM
gigi

Reged: 03/21/04
Posts: 1442
Loc: South Texas

This is an offensive post. If this is the best question you can come up with about bloating, you are sick. This board is not about sexual exploits.

I have seen people kicked off the boards for posting less offensive content than this.

Do us all a favor and move on, if you can't clean it up and apologize.

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Re: ..Look Alli new
      #266824 - 05/31/06 07:54 PM
gigi

Reged: 03/21/04
Posts: 1442
Loc: South Texas

In case you are not aware, we have some underage IBS'rs here and your comments are not appropriate.

We try to help the young ones too.

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Re: ..Look Alli *DELETED* new
      #266828 - 05/31/06 08:18 PM
Jeano

Reged: 03/20/04
Posts: 1392
Loc: USA

Post deleted by Shelby J

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Re: ..Look Alli new
      #266848 - 05/31/06 09:51 PM
Gracie

Reged: 11/25/05
Posts: 1967


In Alli's defense, there have been other sex questions on this board and O.S. is part of a healthly, mature relationship even between husband and wife, so I don't think an apology is needed.
*Edit
For example I remember one where someone asked if others got pain or attacks during and/or after sexual intercourse. People suggested different positions, and other advice.


Edited by Gracie (05/31/06 10:04 PM)

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Re: ..Sex question new
      #266850 - 05/31/06 10:00 PM
Shell Marr

Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA

I will notify Heather of this post and she can do what she feels is right for the boards. However Alli has posted some great stuff over the last year and has tried to get educated and has tried to help others.... so I hope she does not leave over this.

Alli I don't have an answer to your question either...sorry.

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Considering we do have teens and pre-teens here... new
      #266883 - 06/01/06 06:10 AM
nomorepooch

Reged: 04/18/06
Posts: 285


I do think that posts like this are not necessary. Determining if it is ones personal trigger by "trial by error" would be a more tasteful way to handle this...no pun intended...seriously.

--------------------
Have a blessed day! Rachel
Formerly poochibelly...
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!

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Re: ..Sex question new
      #266884 - 06/01/06 06:12 AM
Sassi0619

Reged: 01/06/06
Posts: 53
Loc: Vermont

Although this is a very sensitive topic I feel that if you can't ask people here, who can you ask....

Some people are more comfortable broaching these topics than others, but that does not mean they are sick. OS is not an uncommon act and is a natural part of a relationship.

Alli, I think this is a valid question and I am sorry for the strong reaction you have recieved. It is very difficult to ask such a sensitive question in the first place and then to be chastised for it in return.

I would think that perhaps it could have an adverse effect if you have a fructose intolerance. I just did a search on the web and it seems that semen is very high in fructose (400%).

HTH!

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Re: ..Sex question new
      #266892 - 06/01/06 06:55 AM
Kim2884

Reged: 09/10/05
Posts: 92
Loc: CT, USA

Although there is fructose in semen, only about 5ml of is ejaculated, so I don't think there would be enough of anything to make you sick. I wouldn't worry about it at all...nor would I worry about the people who are chiding you for asking a simple question about a normal part of life.

If we can talk about sexual intercourse on this board, there is no reason that oral sex should be considered off-limits. There are some teenagers on this board, sure, but I'm sure they all know what oral sex is. Asking a question like this isn't going to influence the decisions they make in their own lives.

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Kim

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Re: Wow ...Okay... new
      #266932 - 06/01/06 09:39 AM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


This is something I did not expect, because I have often read posts about sex, and I thought I could depend on everyone here to help me understand the link between sex and ibs. I just wanted to ask this question is particular because I thought there might be some previous experiences with this, and also, swallowing tends to give me a sore throat, so I wondered what semen actually contained, and since it is digested like food, I wondered if it could harm us like food.
First of all, sex is something that is a very open and discussed topic. I understand if people are offended, but I also refuse to apologize.
Second of all, I once read posts far more 'offensive' then this about sex. And also I labeled this post as a 'sex question' ..I did not hide the contents of this post in any way, so if any of you were offended by this, I recommend that you please not enter any posts that are so clearly labeled.
Also, I would like to add that your chastising did not offend me or make me feel ashamed in any way, as I am the type of individual who can speak about absolutely anything without feeling an ounce of shame or regret.
Thank you for those who answered me. I tried to do some research on this and I couldn't really find enough information about it. But I have learned that some people have allergies to semen. But I'm not entirely sure if it would upset anyone with IBS.

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I'm letting this thread stand as is... new
      #266934 - 06/01/06 09:44 AM
HeatherAdministrator

Reged: 12/09/02
Posts: 7795
Loc: Seattle, WA

it's from a long-time poster and, as other people responding to her have noted, sex questions come up on this board and there should be options for that. I realize there are some people who won't find this topic appropriate, but I need to balance that with other people's genuine need to have their IBS questions answered. I don't think this post crossed a line.

Best,
Heather

--------------------
Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!

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Re: I'm letting this thread stand as is... new
      #266938 - 06/01/06 09:52 AM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


Hah, I win. ...Just kidding. I would understand, Heather, if you feel the need to delete this post. I would not be offended or anything, and I also would not leave these boards. I just hope that I haven't offended anybody enough for them to hold a grudge against me or something.

Anyway, for anyone who is also interested in this questionable topic, I have researched the contents of semen, and it contains things that we cannot safely digest.
The average ejaculate contains aboutonia, ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin B12, and zinc.
The caloric content of an average ejaculate is estimated to be approximately 15 calories.

But is it enough to actually cause an attack with someone who has ibs? Hmm.

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Re: I'm letting this thread stand as is... new
      #266943 - 06/01/06 10:03 AM
Shell Marr

Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA

Great post Heather!

Alli:
15 calories... !?@$?#$?# LOL

Thank you for this very educational post... I'm going to be going in for my anual visit to the female doctor.... I just might ask her what her feelings are...about it maybe causing an IBS attack.... (thougth - maybe it is just the intake of extra air that is causing the problem?) I'll report my findings if I'm brave enough to really ask her! LOL

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This is very interesting... new
      #266952 - 06/01/06 10:15 AM
cailin

Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

thanks for the info Alli.
Sensible reaction too Heather, thanks.

I find that any bedroom activity gives me D/cramping tendencies (but that doesn't stop me )


--------------------
S.

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Re: I'm letting this thread stand as is... new
      #266956 - 06/01/06 10:20 AM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


Hahaha. That would be great. I can ask anyone anything, I usually get reactions similiar or far worst then these, so I'm really not bothered by it. However, I consider people on these boards as friends, so I really wouldn't want to upset anyone.
The reason that I asked is that I keep getting a sore throat by it, and also the allergies that a small percentage of people have with semen. Most people with ibs are far more sensitive to ..everything! Also, I think semen is a base? Not an acid. I think. So, I don't know how it would really react with us.
Some people are far more touchy with certain foods then other people. Some times if I have a sip of warm water, I bloat! But I'm thinking, maybe we should stay away from consuming things before researching about them.

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Re: This is very interesting... new
      #266958 - 06/01/06 10:24 AM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


I know it is. Hahah.
I am usually okay with actual intercourse. (Don't know about anal ..never tried. That's a whole other topic, right there. ) But sex usually relaxes me, which is excellent for ibs, right? ..Although sometimes it causes me to breathe differently which may cause bloating, for me at least.

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Re: Wow ...Okay... new
      #267039 - 06/01/06 07:28 PM
gigi

Reged: 03/21/04
Posts: 1442
Loc: South Texas

I have been posting on this board for several years. Personally, I think something is terribly wrong in this world when people can't take thier minds off of themselves long enough to think about others. As posted earlier, we have pre-teens and teens looking for help here also. Sometimes I believe that we are the only people in their lives they can go to for help and understanding. It doesn't matter what type of heading you put on your post, they are going to read it anyway, they are kids. They are the ones I am thinking of, yes, sex is a very open and discussed topic, sometimes too open and too often discussed in inapropriate places. If there were no young people posting and reading here, normally I would have no problem with it.
I just don't personaly have a need to share with everyone the most intimate moments I share with my h. I can ask questions and have them answered that won't be brought out into the open boards. My grandchildren are precious to me, and if one of them had walked in and red Ali's post, I would have spent time explaining something to them that they are too young to understand and should'nt have to understand. What offends me personally is the idea that anything seems to go these days, anytime and anywhere. If you think it, you may as well say it.

So, I do not expect an apology, I do know that I don't have to stay around and read this stuff. I have been a member here for a long time, and made many good friends who feel the same way I do. I am feeilng that I don't matter, and the time I have spent here learning and helping others means nothing.
I don't mind saying again, I have seen people kicked off for much less content or action.

My last question being? IF something irritates your throat and makes it sore, why in the world would you continue to do it!!!! hah, I guess you would have to go online to get the answers.

My friends here know who I am, and I know who they are. Common Courtesy must have gone out the window the minute someone decided that sex is an open and easily talked about subject. Its ok, I am great! And I will continue to be great and feel great! I learned a long time ago what my triggers are and how to eat. I hope the rest of you may be so blessed!!!

Heather,sad to see this happen. I have really enjoyed many topics and your many emails. I am moving on with my life, I like to correspond with those who think of others feelings and take the time to soothe and old friendship that is walking out the door!!

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Good call, Heather! new
      #267045 - 06/01/06 07:58 PM
atomic rose

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)

Not that you need my validation or anything, but I don't think it crossed any lines, either. It's a genuine question, and Alli was totally up-front about it dealing with a potentially offensive topic. If you don't want to talk about sex, don't get into the discussion.

Teens and pre-teens, by the way, can find FAR worse things elsewhere online, trust me. Most teenagers already know more about all this stuff than someone twice their age anyway. LOL

Alli - I've never had it trigger an attack. Sore throat, yes. IBS problems, no. I would guess that any triggering substances in semen would be in small enough amounts that it wouldn't cause a problem unless you were REALLY super gut-unstable (at which point just about anything will trigger you, you know?)

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Re: Wow ...Okay... new
      #267048 - 06/01/06 08:05 PM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


Sex! Of course it is an open topic these days. Of course it is. And do you know how many lives that will save? Less STDs, less pregnancies, the world is really a better place ever since people started speaking openly about things.
I am also only 17. I admit, I'm young, but also mature. I honestly don't think there are any immature pre-teens/teens on these boards. Any young person on these boards that are reading and asking questions about ibs and the ibs diet are definately not immature -they are taking it upon themselves to get well, and to learn. I have been on these boards for a while now. I've easily read all types of questionable posts when I was in junior high without being disturbed. If a child is reading these boards, they are definately not immature, let me tell you. I know I wasn't.
I know I can be blatant and offensive, but I want to learn just as much as anyone else. About anything. Delete this post if you want, but it could be a possibility that such a sexual act can be unsafe for ibs!! Apparantly, semen contains sorbitol which isn't good even in small amounts, I don't think.
It's a shame that you find it difficult to handle the fact that sex is becoming such an open topic. I think it's a good thing. I really do. It will help a lot of people.

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Re: Considering we do have teens and pre-teens here... new
      #267057 - 06/01/06 08:31 PM
LostCode

Reged: 04/04/06
Posts: 137


She's 17 and it's probably close to her last day of school. It's obviously not in great taste(pun not intended) but think back to when you were that young. It's tough for me to be too critical.



--------------------
Jon - (IBS C)

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We have a twelve year old on the boards..~nt~ new
      #267063 - 06/01/06 08:41 PM
nomorepooch

Reged: 04/18/06
Posts: 285




--------------------
Have a blessed day! Rachel
Formerly poochibelly...
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!

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WHAAAAAT????!!!! new
      #267084 - 06/01/06 09:03 PM
Bevvy

Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State

I've been on these Boards for a very long time, and I've seen just about everything, but this one takes the cake. No discussions in the past have come close to this.

This is EXTREMELY inappropriate discussion for these Boards. I am surprised, saddened and disappointed that the Board Monitor would acquiesce to it.

What a terrible shame that we have come to this!

--------------------
<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy


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Re: Wow ...Okay... new
      #267097 - 06/01/06 09:30 PM
gigi

Reged: 03/21/04
Posts: 1442
Loc: South Texas

I just read further down in the post, we do have a 12yr old here. I have seen other people ask her questions in a very kind and gentle way. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that a 12 year old is either trying to learn things about IBS, could be a very lonely child, needs to make friends and this has been a good place for her until now. The content of this post is very close to a pornogrphic nature and let me tell you, if My 10 yr old happened into a room to ask me a question and glanced at the content I was innocently reading....I would have to exlain to him that so many people have no morals and think it is fine to write down what ever pops into thier heads, to most people, I don't have to explain the rest. Personally, I have read and understood all of the sexual type of Ibs Questions people needed help with and had no problem reading them. This one is a little different. At this moment I am livid that Heather seems to think this is a question that needs to be answered.

Yes, I do understand that Ali is young, and 'mature'. I love young people, they have so much to add to this society and country. But, content of this nature should have been handled by a private email, sorry hon. I don't read pornography on a regular day, and I won't read it now.

I thought more of the board moderators, and Heather, I thought you should have explained this in a nice way to Ali that some long time posters might be upset about this. On a normal day I could have passed this by, but today is not normal for me to go to my favorite place on the boards to talk to friends and new people trying to help them understand thier bodies and how to get well, and find this. Totally innapropriate.

I am concerned for you Ali, because there are other things you could swallow from OS, std's are one of them.

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Re: Really, it's not ok... new
      #267099 - 06/01/06 09:45 PM
gigi

Reged: 03/21/04
Posts: 1442
Loc: South Texas

Ali, you say you are very'mature'. Not all 12 year olds are allowed to surf the net and read anything that comes their way. I think it is our duty to see to it that young girls like this are not subjected to it by us. Yes, sex is an extremely open subject, one that I am so sick of hearing. I am sad to see all of the young women murdered by sickos who read thier postings on MYSPACE and other such places. There is a time and a place to talk about these things, I am much older than you and I can look back and see how the open nature of the '60's has changed our culture for the bad. I have no problem talking to my children about sex, or helping them get reading material or answering any questions they might need to ask. I am not a total stick in the mud, I have just seen so much pain and damage by people who think sex should just be out there everywhere.

This post content is not appropriate for these boards, so I am saying goodbye, it is ashame this place has not been protected!!!

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My goodness.... new
      #267100 - 06/01/06 09:49 PM
Shell Marr

Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA

I understand that some are offended by this post and others could care less and others found it educational.... however, I think had Alli not been attacked and instead asked "Nicely" to be careful of what she posted... this thread would NOT have ended up the way it did and people would not be mad and leaving WHICH I TRULY HOPE THAT NOBODY DOES... we may not all be adults, but we sure can try to understand each other, forgive and move on to the other questions that others might have and continue help each other.

I apologize to the long timers and the new comers and the young ones if they do not agree with how I personally handled this post (as a board moderator, however not of THIS one...but still)...I guess I'm just open about the subject of sex in general, but that is not a fault..rather just how I am. Again....I surely hope that NOBODY leaves over this.

{{hugs to all}}

Quote:


I thought more of the board moderators, and Heather, I thought you should have explained this in a nice way to Ali that some long time posters might be upset about this. On a normal day I could have passed this by, but today is not normal for me to go to my favorite place on the boards to talk to friends and new people trying to help them understand thier bodies and how to get well, and find this. Totally innapropriate.





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www.myspace.com/shellmarr




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Alli, what a mature and valid question to ask! new
      #267110 - 06/01/06 11:38 PM
lorien

Reged: 05/15/06
Posts: 65
Loc: Wales, U.K

Hi Alli,

I'm from the UK and it's 6.30 in the morning my end, and I haven't had breakfast yet!

I am absolutely GOBSMACKED at the reaction that your question has provoked on the boards!

I am actually really ~ but really ~ impressed that you should be responsible enough for your own health to ask this question!

I think that the response you've had from some readers suggests more about their attitude to sex, and that you should NOT be made to feel guilty or out of order in any way.

Personally I feel that any 12 year olds reading this message board should already know about oral sex, and all the ins and outs (!!) of indulging. Surely this is the only way that young people will learn to have safer sex ~ in all ways.

I am saddened that there has been such a negative response to your question. I think that you are much more enlightened than many elders!

You've obviously researched the content of semen, and I guess practice will tell you if it aggravates you.

Stay strong in the face of the reaction on this board ~ it's very refreshing to meet such an open mind.

Joanna

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Heather and Shell, I support your response to Alli's question new
      #267111 - 06/01/06 11:46 PM
lorien

Reged: 05/15/06
Posts: 65
Loc: Wales, U.K

Hi Heather and Shell,

I'm posting before breakfast in the UK and am absolutely amazed at the response to Alli's very mature and valid question.

I think you have both done the right thing in allowing it to remain on the board, and I would have been angry if you had decided that it was 'too pornographic' to remain.

Oral sex isn't pornographic, and most 12 year olds will have heard about it I would have thought.

I think that it's an educational question, and has every right to be asked here. It has absolutely nothing to do with MORALS!!! Please, let's keep an open mind here!

Joanna


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Re: Ditto new
      #267115 - 06/02/06 02:59 AM
Blondie13

Reged: 02/28/06
Posts: 641
Loc: Sheffield, England

Valid question Alli.

Personally I have found it sets off my D almost instantaneously and always has done - even before I knew IBS existed.

--------------------
http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/

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Re: ..Sex question new
      #267132 - 06/02/06 06:10 AM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


Is this ia joke???

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Re: Really, it's not ok... new
      #267137 - 06/02/06 07:07 AM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


I am aware that STDs can be obtained from oral sex, but we have both been tested and I am faithful to my current partner.
I believe that you are over-reacting immensely, and I don't want people to think I'm some sort of sex-maniac or anything because I asked a possibly offensive question. But I just feel that I'm so interested in learning how to heal myself -I feel as if I must know every detail/aspect regarding ibs, and what can affect it. I really think I've stumbled into something here. I'm beginning to think that it can hurt us, especially if your unstable. People should be aware of these things. We all share a common obstacle and we must all come together and try to figure this out. What affects ibs? Not just food. Sex, which can lead to stress, excitement ..I once heard about weather affecting ibs. We need to know these things. For God sakes, we need to know if the colour and texture of our stool is normal!! We need to know everything. I don't discuss ibs with anyone but the people of these boards, and I don't want to be alone to have to learn these things the hard way.
So, for future generations with ibs: Yes!! Maybe you should spit and not swallow. ...We're looking into it.

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Re: Ditto new
      #267138 - 06/02/06 07:10 AM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


Yeah, I'm beginning to think it could be a problem depending on how severe your ibs is and other factors:
-is your somach empty
-are you stable
-stress
-swallowing air
Yup. This is something I would like for the males on this site to think about, because my partner wouldn't really understand if I just told him that I no longer want to swallow.

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Heather *DELETED* new
      #267150 - 06/02/06 08:04 AM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


Post deleted by Heather

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Re: In my defense.... new
      #267153 - 06/02/06 08:23 AM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


As I've mentioned before, I have read other offensive posts not necessarily regarding sexual contents. I remember when I was younger, I read a post about smoking marijuana!! Oh no. Is this an appropriate topic for young people to read? ..
I must be honest, however, I searched for the topic and was actually going to post about it. I must admit, I do have very debatable questions about ibs. Of course I have other questions that I decide not to post because of the reaction I recieved. But that's okay.
Marijuana isn't a topic appropriate topic for young people. It could of actually encouraged people to smoke the stuff! I personally believed that it helped. ..I'm not against that post by the way, very informative.
I'm definately not leaving. I need this site, I honestly need it. I have nothing/no one else to turn to about this medical condition. I'm not stable yet, I have questions -I can't afford to leave.
Delete this post if you feel the need to, Heather, I don't want anyone getting too upset or anything. Don't ban me though.. I really appreciate the fact that you've kept it here for this long. Thanks. Got me thinking that maybe I found another possible trigger for some people, including myself.

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Re: Wow ...Okay... new
      #267156 - 06/02/06 08:32 AM
Jennifer Rose

Reged: 04/02/03
Posts: 3566
Loc: Fremont, CA

Quote:

I just don't personaly have a need to share with everyone the most intimate moments I share with my h. I can ask questions and have them answered that won't be brought out into the open boards. My grandchildren are precious to me, and if one of them had walked in and red Ali's post, I would have spent time explaining something to them that they are too young to understand and should'nt have to understand. What offends me personally is the idea that anything seems to go these days, anytime and anywhere. If you think it, you may as well say it.




I almost passed on posting on this thread, but felt it important to help maintain the openess of asking questions on this board. Please do not take the following question as an attack, Gigi - but more of a question about the above quote from your post.

You mention you don't feel the need to share with everyone about intimate moments, yet you asked a question to Shell 2 years ago about your sex drive and Lexapro: web page. You even continued to talk about KY and such: web page.

Please understand that this is not an attack towards you, just a comment that maybe if someone had seen this thread before, they might assume that you and others may be okay with talking about sex related questions. Just something to keep in mind when looking at both sides of the table..

--------------------
- Jennifer

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Alli new
      #267159 - 06/02/06 08:35 AM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


My beef is not with you in any way. I am not requesting that you be asked to leave. I do not support censorship unless remarks are hateful in nature.

Quote:

I need this site, I honestly need it. I have nothing/no one else to turn to about this medical condition. I'm not stable yet, I have questions -I can't afford to leave.





EXACT same thoughts go for the person who was asked to leave!

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I agree! new
      #267160 - 06/02/06 08:35 AM
bamagirl

Reged: 04/02/04
Posts: 1407
Loc: Alabama

Long time poster myself, and this is a dumb question. Trying to have shock effect maybe? Come on! This shouldn't be allowed! Here or anywhere!

THIS IS NOT DIET RELATED!

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God is Faithful!

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Re: no, no new
      #267166 - 06/02/06 08:54 AM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


I do say some things to get a reaction, but never about ibs. Never on these boards. To me, ibs is a serious topic and everything I ask about on this site is very serious to me. If you look back, I was in the worse depression I have ever experienced a little while back, and where did I turn? I went here. Before anywhere else, because I knew you guys would take me seriously, and I appreciated that.
I will admit though, because I'm a very honest person, I am finding this a bit amusing. But that is because I did not expect such outragrous reactions!! I do not feel shame or regret, especially because I think I may have discovered something.
To respond to something else I read, why do it at all? Why swallow? ...People do it. No, we don't have to do it. But people could have been doing it and not realizing what semen actually contained. There's citric acid in there you know, and lactic acid I think. In small amounts, that stuff can be unsafe.

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You can email me about this new
      #267177 - 06/02/06 09:37 AM
HeatherAdministrator

Reged: 12/09/02
Posts: 7795
Loc: Seattle, WA

but it's not a topic for discussion on the boards, and clearly you do not know the details. You're welcome to email help@helpforibs.com if you'd like. I'll delete any further posts about this.

Best,
Heather

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Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!

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Folks, if you are offended by sexual questions that relate to IBS... new
      #267178 - 06/02/06 09:41 AM
HeatherAdministrator

Reged: 12/09/02
Posts: 7795
Loc: Seattle, WA

please don't read threads that are about that topic. I am not going to moderate these boards to the level of children. I go pretty far to keep the discussions on here as open as possible, and people get offended by just about everything (and write me to complain). If I start heading in the direction of banning what offends one person I guarantee you it would mean removing posts that are suitable to lots of others. The only option I have is to keep things as open as reasonably possible.

I'll say it again - I don't think this post crossed a line. If you personally do, don't keep reading this thread.

Best,
Heather

--------------------
Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!

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Re: Folks, if you are offended by sexual questions that relate to IBS... new
      #267189 - 06/02/06 10:01 AM
jules

Reged: 06/17/03
Posts: 1140
Loc: Michigan

Bravo Heather!

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~jules



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Re: Really, it's not all that bad... new
      #267196 - 06/02/06 10:12 AM
Dajara

Reged: 12/01/05
Posts: 347
Loc: Medicine Hat. AB. CAN

This is a question that I have actually been curious about for a long time but just never thought to ask. Alli, I support you and your question 100% (not that you need it i'm sure, but thats ok) In regards to young ones seeing/hearing about a sex related topic, there are more offensive things (puns and such) in movies like american pie, or scary movie, or hell there are even some, not so appropreate comments for young ones in shrek movies. This is an honest and open question that I didn't think was offensive. I found it more sientific but i suppose i'm sometime too open-minded for my own good.

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Alli new
      #267214 - 06/02/06 10:38 AM
hohoyumyum

Reged: 05/28/03
Posts: 2263
Loc: SacTown, CA

Lordy, lordy, what a controversial topic. I don't think there is anything wrong with this question. If you need to know, you need to know. And where else would you find an answer to a question like this? I think I read that you had other questions you wanted to ask but decided not to because of the reactions you've gotten here. Well, shoot me an e-mail whenever you have them. My e-mail is listed on my profile. I promise I won't be offended by any honest question and there really isn't anything left that is shocking for me to hear. As far as this one goes, for myself, it causes some mild nausea but I haven't noticed any other IBS symptoms coming from it. And, just curious, how old are you?

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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.



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Re: Really, it's not all that bad... new
      #267223 - 06/02/06 11:06 AM
hohoyumyum

Reged: 05/28/03
Posts: 2263
Loc: SacTown, CA

You're not too open-minded. I say question everything and listen to all of the answers. Then you can make an educated decision.

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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.



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Re: Alli new
      #267226 - 06/02/06 11:11 AM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


Why, thank you. I will email you if I feel the need. Im 17.

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Re: Conclusion! new
      #267227 - 06/02/06 11:19 AM
Alli

Reged: 04/23/05
Posts: 195


I appreciate the support and I obviously agree with keeping the boards open. I'm not sure if I have broken any barriers or anything, but I hope that people will feel free to ask questions that do concern them.
Others who disagree, I personally believe you have a right to disagree, and you also have a right to state the fact that you disagree, however, I do not believe that you should inhibit people to ask important questions.
About the semen, I think it could be an individual thing, and it could indeed be unsafe. It really isn't a required sexual act, but I do know that most women ..and even men , have felt pressure from their partner to swallow. I have, so I wondered if it was necessary to not swallow. I think it is, and that's good to know.
I guess that's that! Well ..I'm satisfied. Thanks again.

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Re: I'm letting this thread stand as is... new
      #267287 - 06/02/06 03:00 PM
Strixowl

Reged: 05/26/06
Posts: 41


Excellant call Heather. Those who are worried about the young ones, I truly understand. I have two daughters, but please consider that recent stats (at least the ones I've seen) report that more and more teens are turning to O.Sex & forgoing intercourse as they begin sexual exploration (like it or not, right or wrong)for fear of Aids etc. I'm not saying this is good logic just reality.

I believe this topic is totally appropriate for this board and thank Alli for having the "guts" to ask a question (I'm pretty sure others may have had) & shareing her feelings & research. You go girl!! And thank you Heather

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Re: I'm letting this thread stand as is... new
      #267304 - 06/02/06 04:13 PM
hohoyumyum

Reged: 05/28/03
Posts: 2263
Loc: SacTown, CA

I've seen the same stats and when I was as young as 12 or 13 I had friends and knew people who were already having sex. Like it or not, parents need to understand that their children have heard about these things and if no one explains things to them, kids will go looking for answers on their own. And that means babies having babies.

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If you're not dead, you've still got time.



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Re: ..Look Alli new
      #267378 - 06/03/06 07:06 AM
MamaCat

Reged: 04/09/06
Posts: 52
Loc: NJ

Quote:

For example I remember one where someone asked if others got pain or attacks during and/or after sexual intercourse. People suggested different positions, and other advice.




Absolutely I recall that also--and as a new member, I am researching ANYTHING and everyting I can to discover why, with my radically changed diet, I still feel ill.

Kudos to you Alli for asking questions and trying to seek out information that can better your health. I am appalled to see such intolerance concerning your questions from people who are living with IBS. IBS doesn't necessarily stop once you are in the bedroom with a loved one. I have all sorts of questions about intimate moments and whether they could aggravate IBS--my husband and I are trying to spot what triggers my attacks and if intimacy can be a cause in some way. Alli's question is helpful to me and not offensive because I am here as a researcher and a sufferer, and not in judgment of people's questions and concerns.

Thank you to those who responded to Alli with helpful advice that continued to educate me about IBS and intimacy issues.

Just as a note, if we can't speak candidly as a community about possible IBS triggers, what is the point of this board? I came here desperate for answers--not for people's inflammatory intolerance and prejudice against inquiry.

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IBS-D!

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Tolerance is a door that should swing both ways new
      #267391 - 06/03/06 08:26 AM
Sand

Reged: 12/13/04
Posts: 4490
Loc: West Orange, NJ (IBS-D)

If we tolerate people asking graphic questions about oral sex, we also need to tolerate other people saying they find those questions offensive. Both sides of the issue should be handled appropriately (no name-calling, no admonitions to leave) and I think this post has been pretty good on that score, although not totally satisfactory on either side.

Oral sex is an uncomfortable issue for many people and failing to be understanding of that fact is just as intolerant as considering any discussion of it to be beyond the pale. Someone who is quite comfortable discussing sex and IBS issues in general way (what position is best, for example, or even "try oral sex if you're bloated") may be quite uncomfortable with a more technical and graphic discussion of oral sex - or of any sex. To refer to people who are uncomfortable with graphic sexual discussions as prejudiced, intolerant, and inflammatory is no more helpful than referring to people who are comfortable with them as sick and sensationalistic.

In case you're wondering which side I come down on (no pun(s) intended), I thought the original question was appropriate - the subject line clearly referred to sex - although it could have been phrased more delicately and the subject line could have carried a more emphatic warning. I thought the follow-up posts were unnecessarily graphic and technical. But of course, as Heather pointed out, I didn't have to keep reading.

In a purely academic way, I am interested in watching this topic get pushed further. Since this thread is considered appropriate, there will eventually be another thread that pushes the discussion further into even more uncomfortable territory, probably - as already presaged - anal sex. Heather did a good job with this one; I don't envy her the future ones.

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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]

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Thanks, Sand. I don't envy it either. -nt- new
      #267424 - 06/03/06 01:22 PM
HeatherAdministrator

Reged: 12/09/02
Posts: 7795
Loc: Seattle, WA



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Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!

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Re: I'm letting this thread stand as is... new
      #267473 - 06/03/06 09:56 PM
Dajara

Reged: 12/01/05
Posts: 347
Loc: Medicine Hat. AB. CAN

On the topic of young kids learning about these things, when i was 15/16 and in a really serious relationship, my mother bought me a play girl so as i could see what a naked male looked like so i wouldn't be curious to go over any boundrys.... Education means smarter decisions..

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Mature topics area? new
      #267595 - 06/04/06 07:20 PM
MamaCat

Reged: 04/09/06
Posts: 52
Loc: NJ

On an unrelated poetry bulletin board to which I belong, it has a thread for "mature" topics that can only be accessed after the moderator emails a password to members over 21. This area of the board allows people to post written content without exposing it to the younger participants on the board.

Obviously nothing is foolproof; however perhaps an area designated for sensitive subjects of a mature nature featuring password protection would be one option to consider.

As a married adult, I do have questions about intimacy and IBS--I can't control the fact that there are young people on this board. So does that mean I do not ask my questions? I don't know anyone in my life with whom to have that sort of a conversation. Perhaps if there were an area where people could ask personal questions about IBS this sort of issue could be avoided?

Just an idea!


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IBS-D!

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Re: Mature topics area? new
      #267596 - 06/04/06 07:25 PM
Shell Marr

Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA

GREAT idea... but I sure would hate to have one more thing that Heather would have to worry about doing (i.e. giving the password and getting even more email) I guess this would also involve her having to search other threads to make sure that they are in the "Mature" area....

But again...great idea...

Quote:

On an unrelated poetry bulletin board to which I belong, it has a thread for "mature" topics that can only be accessed after the moderator emails a password to members over 21. This area of the board allows people to post written content without exposing it to the younger participants on the board.

Obviously nothing is foolproof; however perhaps an area designated for sensitive subjects of a mature nature featuring password protection would be one option to consider.

As a married adult, I do have questions about intimacy and IBS--I can't control the fact that there are young people on this board. So does that mean I do not ask my questions? I don't know anyone in my life with whom to have that sort of a conversation. Perhaps if there were an area where people could ask personal questions about IBS this sort of issue could be avoided?

Just an idea!





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My mom did the same thing. *nt new
      #267601 - 06/04/06 08:12 PM
hohoyumyum

Reged: 05/28/03
Posts: 2263
Loc: SacTown, CA



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