still working on helping my suffering college girl - thanks for any help
#23484 - 10/15/03 12:08 PM
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barb n
Reged: 10/14/03
Posts: 65
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I am just starting on advising my daughter on these principles. She is in a dorm, her first year, so she barely has her feet on the ground, and then dealing with feeling bad has been so hard. She is very disciplined and health minded about food - but, of course, it is way harder to eat what you want to in a dorm situation than at home -- so i wondered -- if she started every meal with her soluble fiber supplements (when she couldn't get soluble fiber food) would that be an ok approach for now ?--- and also until she learns the ropes of this diet a bit better? For instance -- bars really help her to fill in and get enough to eat --- i am reading they are not always so good -- so if she had the fiber supplement first, would that work ?-- but she has also trained herself not to drink water along with a meal -- so that could be a problem.....could it be taken 20 minutes before a meal and still be effective? Sorry to have so many questions -- she is losing weight and getting weak again and we are really concerned -- to the point where i am hardly sleeping and crying alot about her......its hardest to see her suffering and also away from home for the 1st time.........
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So sorry you both are having such a hard time. There are a few girls on this board in college, hopefully they can offer better advice. Taking the fiber supplements will help but you do need to drink a LOT of water with them for them to work properly. Try making her a snack/goody basket with cinnamon graham crackers, dry cereal baggies(honeycomb and kix are good ones)Fantanstik makes a rice noodle bowl(kinda like ramon noodles-just add water and nuk)they taste great! Check the reciepe board for other snacks she could keep in her dorm. Does she have access to a fridge? Pita bread and hummus would be great if so! Theres also soy yogurts and pudding cups, applesauce cups make great snacks too! If she had some good food handy she would be likely to eat more and more of the right food! Does she tend to have C or D?
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Thanks for your reply, and your sympathy -- i appreciate it -- this has been going on to varying degrees for 8 months -- ruined her senior year at school and we just hate to see it ruin college that she has worked so hard for and looked so forward to........ Sorry - i forgot to mention that she might have a problem with wheat. We are still guessing about all this -- she had some serious setbacks after eating wheat(white flourmore so than whole wheat it seems which doesn't sound typical IBS) -- but it was also things with alot of cheese too -- like a bagel and cream cheese(not low fat), and a piece of lasagna, and one time it was pizza --- so she is trying to avoid wheat which she can do easily at home and she has even figured it out on campus -- but a few times she's been where that was all they served and that was hard. and did cause her big problems....now i'm not sure about the wheat -- maybe this IBS stuff is more the ticket with her -- if this diet works, maybe she can try some wheat, but for now she will probably avoid it. She has been using low fat yogurt as a staple since she got sick 8 months ago -- but this week --after my husband found this website and we started considering this -- I told her to cut out the dairy completely. I'm just worried she isn't going to have enough to eat by cutting out all this stuff. I send her food every week -- and yes, she has a frig in her room, and hot pot to make hot water, a Safeway 3 blocks away, and a pretty good cafeteria. She likes to have breakfast in her room, i am sending her dried soups in the cups that you add water to -- and i will send those rice bowls too that you mentioned -- and she has oatmeal too. What do you think about bars as a snack?? I searched the board about bars and it seems like some people use them but Heather doesn't seem to think they are too good. i saw some brands that people have liked -- Gensoy and Advocare and Luna bars -- not sure whether to send those or not -- they really help her to fill in for food -- but i don't want to send anything that will be bad. That's why i thought maybe she could take the supplement before eating them ??? Are rice cakes good? Are they considered a soluble fiber or both kinds? She is C - that is what started this whole problem 8 months ago -- a big bout of C - she ended up losing 25 lbs (and she wasn't overweight) because she can't eat when she is constipated--- she's been having alot of it these last 2 weeks -- and drinking laxative herbal tea which helps her go -- but we know this isn't good as a regular thing -- so we are hoping the soluble fiber supplements will cure this problem. She is also having big problems at times with her digestion - feels like her food isn't digesting and that causes her to not want to eat also. Is that typical for IBS people? She had gained back most of the weight she lost before she left for school, but now she is losing some again and we are really concerned. She has been getting acupunture for about 6 months and that is the only thing that we have found that really really helped alot, would get her feeling so much better for days and sometimes even a week or two -- she would always have setbacks though, and then need the acupuncture to get ok. But, apparently just that is not enough. This is the worst phase this last 2 weeks that she has had for quite a while -- she is still getting acupuncture up there. I have alot of hope that the soluble fiber supplements will help her alot. She is an unbelievable water drinker so i think that will be fine -- she probably drinks about 16 cups a day at least just because she seems to need it -- which i wonder if that's good or not good -- but it will be good for these supplements........... Sorry to go on so much. Thanks for your interest.
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Hi Barb,
I'm also a college student with IBS, although I don't live on campus and attend school at night. However, I know how difficult it might be for your daughter when she goes out with friends and can't eat most of what they're eating.
You mentioned that your daughter likes to eat breakfest in her room. I'm not sure how far away you live from her now and what the costs might be, but maybe you can consider baking a loaf of bread and sending it to her once a week. I usually start my day off with a slice or two of one of Heather's breads, as well as a cup of tea.
As for snacks, I love taking a ziplock bag of rice chex or cheerios around with me to snack on at work and during classes. Not only are they great if I get hungry, they're also great soluble fiber in case I want to eat something later that's insoluble or I'm just not quite sure on.
I'm also IBS-C and have found that the Citrucel tablets have helped me tremendously. I've recently had to switch to Benefiber because of the citrus in the citrucel (acid reflux), and don't always remember to drink a tablespoon - what a difference it makes when I forget! 
I can understand your daughter's adversion to food when it doesn't digest properly. Before I was diagnosed with IBS, I had this problem and didn't even want to look at food. Eventually, when I learned what I can eat safely and what I need to be careful with, I became more confident about the foods and my digest worries calmed down.
Also, one of my problems when I first started the diet was remembering what was soluble, insoluble, and just plain bad. So I made these cute little signs (was in a creative mood) that listed everything so I could put them in my kitchen to remind me.
Hopefully after a couple months on Heather's diet, your daughter's weight loss and constipation will start to calm down. If you have any worries or just need to talk, feel free to email me at: angylroses@yahoo.com.
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- Jennifer
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Wow, you really sound like a great mom! OK, from my personal expierence with IBS C, I need more insoluble fiber to make me go, if she id experiencing C, I would suggest upping the insoluble fiber foods and see if that helps! Oatmeal for breakfast is great, have her alternate it with a high fiber cereal I like raisin bran-don't have her eat it everyday, start with a couple times a week kinds thing to be sure it will settle with her ok. She should cut out all dairy-I really enjoy the RiceDream Vanilla "milk"with my oatmeal and cereal. Hummus had a good about of insoluble fiber in it, it makes a great snack on pita-I even add a few slices of turky and lettuce a mkae a roll up. BAKED tortilla chips are great-I like black bean dip with them(you can find a reciepe on the reiepe board or buy it in a jar by the mexican food in the regular grocery store)its non fat and very high in fiber. I don't know much about the bars you are talking about, be sure to check the fat content. I eat Kudos, I think they have a very small amount of dairy in them but they don't bother me. Really have her try to avoid the pizza at school, not only because the dairy but its also constipating. You can make her pizza at home with glat pita or bread and rice mozzeralla cheese and I like chicken on mine. Maybe buy her some applesauce snack cups, I eat those all the time. Check the health food grocery stores for bean burritos to toss in the microwave. Rice cakes are great. I buy some soy cakes in BBQ that are real yummy. she can try a salad once in a while with chicken and lowfat dressing if she eats some bread first-I can tolerate that about once a week any more and it upset my tummy. When she is eating out have her look for roll up chicken or turkey snadwiches with low fat dressing. Turkey burgers are becoming more popular at restratunts as well. Pasta dishes with red sauce are usually ok. Its really a matter of trail to see what she can tolerate. Feel free to email me if you would like. michelebrake@sbcglobal.net
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Barb N...does your daughter drink lots of water because she is thristy a lot? My sister went through that and she was really constipated...she ended up having diabeties. I don't want to scare you but I would make sure she is not dying of thirst!! Just likes to drink lots of water.
Steph
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Quote:
Sorry - i forgot to mention that she might have a problem with wheat. We are still guessing about all this -- she had some serious setbacks after eating wheat(white flourmore so than whole wheat it seems which doesn't sound typical IBS) -- but it was also things with alot of cheese too -- like a bagel and cream cheese(not low fat), and a piece of lasagna, and one time it was pizza --- so she is trying to avoid wheat
Unless your daughter really is gluten-intolerant, it wasn't the wheat bothering her at all--it was the cheese. Avoiding wheat is therefore unnecessary--and right now she needs to keep as many foods in her diet as she can tolerate, because on-campus eating is limited enough to begin with (I just graduated in May).
I used to eat raisin bran, frosted mini-wheats, lots of salads, sandwiches on whole-wheat bread, etc. But I was sick all the time (I'm IBS-C, but pain is my most prominent symptom), and I didn't know why. When I found Heather's book, I realized that I was eating WAY too much insoluble fiber. Also, I'm sensitive to oatmeal--it makes my stomach hurt every time, except for, ironically, the over-processed instant stuff. I can only eat instant oatmeal, and only the flavors that don't contain dairy--READ LABELS, they try to hide ingredients you're trying to avoid! 
So, safe breakfast cereals include Kix, Crispix, grits, cream of rice (I used to eat cream of wheat, but it caused problems, too!), Chex and Frosted Mini-Chex (those might be better as a snack), etc. Now that I'm stable, I can also eat Quaker Toasted Oat Squares, but only as a snack, not a big bowl for breakfast.
Giving up dairy is probably going to be the most difficult for your daughter. College life=free pizza. Well, not for her. But it really is necessary. For pouring on cereal, your daughter should try a variety of soy and rice milks until she finds one she likes. Edensoy is the most natural brand on the market; Vitasoy Creamy Original is my favorite; Rice Dream is also very good, and the chocolate Rice Dream is quite a treat.
For snacks, I eat a lot of applesauce cups such as Mott's Healthy Harvest (they come in fun flavors and don't have added sugar) and canned fruit packed in juice. I can also tolerate citrus fruits, but that's an individual thing. Also, now that I'm stable, I can eat a handful of baby carrots now and then. I also used to eat Nature Valley granola bars all the time, but I haven't tried adding them back.
For dinner in college, when I was a freshman and on the meal plan, I ate pasta with marinara sauce and a grilled chicken breast pretty much every night. It was as bad as it sounds. But my cafeteria had notoriously bad food--they failed the health inspection one year!--and I can only hope your daughter's school is better. Some schools offer rice bowls, soups, sandwiches, and other safe choices.
After freshman year, I moved into a dorm with a kitchen and my significant other and I took turns cooking dinner every night, so I was in complete control of what I ate, which was really nice. Your daughter might seriously consider this for her next three years. Sure, we still ate out, but we ate a lot of sushi and other Japanese food, a lot of Mediterranean food, a lot of healthy Mexican food (burritos with non-refried beans and no cheese), a LOT of cheap sandwiches from Jimmy John's...in other words, there are healthy restaurant choices out there--do a search for past posts on restaurants.
Good luck, and if I think of anything else I'll post again.
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web page This is a list of IBS trigger foods. Print it out and have your daughter post it in her room.
I agree with TessLouise - it sounds like dairy might be your daughter's problem - not soluble fibre. HAve her try to eat a plain slice of bread and see what happens. Chances are, she'll be fine.
By the way, has she been officially diagnosed and tested for Celiac? Celiac can explain why if she does actually have a problem with wheat.
Here's a list of helpful handies you can give her - all soluble fiber and safe foods.
Applesauce containers
Instant rice - cooks with boiling water
Instant oatmeal (some people have trouble with oatmeal, though)
Pretzels
Baked Lays
Baked Tostitos
Peek Freans "NICE" cookies
White Bread
White bagels
White english muffins
Light peanut butter used sparingly
Jam and jellies
Jello cups (NOT pudding, just Jello)
Peppermint Tea (ESSENTIAL - drink 3-4 cups daily)
Decaf herbal teas - Chamomile, fennel, ginger are also good
Soy or rice milk
Cranberry juice boxes or bottles(small amounts with soluble fibre and read the labels - they like to add other juices - make sure it's just cranberry)
I would tend to avoid "bars" as you call them - I assume you mean protein or cereal kinds. They tend to have a lot of additives and potentially the wrong kind of fiber). If you do, read the labels carefully.
Premium Plus Saltine crackers
Chicken Noodle Soup - instant packets just add water
This is just off the top of my head. I think there may be a few strands in the recipe board for safe snacks and cookies, etc.
I hope this helps.
Encourage her to eat small amounts frequently. NO big meals. Better to eat several small meals throughout the day ALWAYS with soluble fiber.
I hope she's doing better.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Hi Barb, I am a junior in college, and my IBS-C started last year when I was living in a dorm room, so I know EXACTLY what you and your daughter are going through.
I also lost a lot of weight initially, but I have gained most of it back and I am feeling great-- mostly thanks to Heather's diet! Some others have already given you a lot of advice, but I'll see if I can fill in some holes, and give you a college perspective:
- FOLLOW HEATHER'S DIET STRICTLY-- this will be very tough for her at first, and it means a lot of changes for someone our age. But, I think she has an advantage over me because she is just starting, whereas I had to adjust everything I was used to.
- GET THE BOOKS! Tell her to come on here whenever she has some time. These are wonderful resources. I was VERY skeptical at first, and I tried everything else for months before I finally forced myself to try Heather's diet.
- EASY DORM FOOD: CEREAL is a staple. There are a lot of safe ones, and they can be dry as a snack or with soy or rice milk for breakfast. PRETZELS, BAKED potato chips, RICE CAKES, SOY CRISPS (if not at the grocery, try a health store), GRAHAM CRACKERS, VANILLA WAFERS, APPLE SAUCE, SOY YOGURT, BANANAS (these are great for me, not for everyone though)
--IN THE DINING HALLS-- Avoid fresh vegetables. At least for a while-- no salads. Stick to sandwiches or pasta with red sauce-- turkey or chicken. Egg whites are also great if that's a possiblitiy. BREAD BREAD BREAD!!! I don't know how great her dining hall is, but the school should provide vegetarian alternatives. Check with the school to see how they can help or what's available for lactose intolerant people. Eliminating dairy is A MUST!
-Get a list of SOLUBLE FIBER FOODS, and just have her memorize it. These foods will stablize her when she's really not feeling well. She needs to find her "comfort" foods (and these are no longer mom's homemade cookies or her hometown pizza).
- BARS?? I'm with Heather on this one-- There's just too much stuff in them. Instead, someone already mentioned the "Breads" in Heather's book-- I make loaves of the Banana Bread and Zuchinni Bread (there are also lots of recipies on here) and freeze them by the slice. Then, just pop one in the microwave for a snack or breakfast. These are SOOOO GOOD and they're very safe. When I was really trying to gain weight, I tried to put a little peanut butter on a slice every day.
-SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP. I can't say it enough. It's hard for a college student, but its absolutely neccessary for IBS-C. Especially if she's stressed over this. I read (PLEASURE READING-NOT SCHOOL) every night before bed to calm me down, then I watch TV for at least an hour in the morning and drink water until I "go". I know this seems crazy for a college student-- but IT REALLY WORKS. THEORY-- WHATEVER GOES IN MUST COME OUT, SO DON'T PUT ANYTHING IN UNTIL SOMETHING COMES OUT--GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO GO, AND YOU WILL GO. For me, my bowels only work right during the night. I only have regular movements in the morning, but I am totally regular.
- MAKE SURE ITS IBS-- from what it sounds like, you are at work on this. If for no other reason, your daughter needs peace of mind. I was so scared over my health and being alone at school, my nerves were making my problem worse.
-HOPE AND FAITH. You need to believe that things will get better and they will. She needs to believe that a solution will be found, and she won't be stuck like this forever. I fell into a state of self-pitty and anger over my IBS-C and the things it did to my college life, but that just makes things worse. IT IS TOTALLY POSSIBLE TO LIVE A NORMAL (AND VERY HEALTHY) COLLEGE LIFE WITH IBS
I know this is the longest post in the world, and I'm sorry, but I promised myself that after I started to get better I would help people who are in the position that I once found myself in. I am very open to e-mailing directly with you or your daughter. I know how difficult this can be on a college student, and talking to people who understand is the best place to start. This is just a start to the changes I've made for my improvement-- I can still give pages of advice from my book (which is always in revision), so please ask as many questions as you want!
Also, you sound exactly like my mom, who let my illness take over her life--it is great for you to help her, but don't try to control her, or try to control her stomach (because that will NEVER happen!)... Everyone is individual, and she knows her body better than anyone else. But, we are all here to help, and this is a great place for advice and support 
GOOD LUCK, and keep in touch!
Edited by kiks (10/19/03 08:25 PM)
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Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!
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Hi Kiks -- Thank you for your thoughtful and informative and kind post. I would like to respond more fully but don't have much time just now so maybe in a day or two. I just wanted to thank you and mention a couple things. We think our daughter might be wheat intolerant, so alot of things that people are suggesting won't work right now -- but I think we have enough other stuff.... She has not been tested (yet) for any of this - for certain reasons. So right now she is avoiding wheat. But if this IBS diet continues to work for her, maybe she will try adding some of it back in, since so many soluble fibers are wheat -- it could be the problem was more IBS related than wheat related. It might be really nice for her to email with you, I will ask her if she would like to -- it is hard that other people really just don't understand what she has been through. Thank you for that offer. I am very involved right now because she has been in a such a crisis state and this time last week it looked like she would have to leave school - maybe. So we are trying to help her stay there, really. But if this diet and the fiber capsules continue to help her so much I think she may be fine and I will certainly back off as soon as I can. She is very very good at managing things on her own -- once she knows what she needs to do and has some food to work with. She's very disciplined because she is inspired to be healthy and so tired of being sick.
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eliminates wheat/gluten from her diet. If she's gluten intolerant, and she's been avoiding gluten, her blood won't have the gluten antibodies and she'll test false-negative.
- Heather
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Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!
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Thanks, Heather, for your comment. We looked into celiac disease somewhat a few months ago, when it seemed like most of her stomach (not bowel) "episodes" were after eating heavy wheat things (lasagna, bagel and cream cheese, pizza )(Previous to this onset of C and stomach problems 8 months ago -- she ate those things without a problem, but did always have a sensitive stomach -- but no problems with C )....... We are realizing now that all those things which caused big problems also had cheese so....maybe that was the problem... or the combination. ( She was living on low fat yogurt for breakfast ( or whey protein powder ! drinks )till we found your website -- now she has stopped all dairy -- she didn't notice any bad reactions to the yogurt and shakes but maybe it was causing the ongoing C problems in a more subtle way (?)..... For a while, we thought we had found the answer with the wheat, as she improved quite alot on that for about 2 months, but she has been almost totally avoiding wheat and then
started having way more C problems lately. So far (only 5 days) she seems to be responding rather dramatically to the fiber supplements (she is still taking a low dose) and doing the IBS diet as best she can. There is no way she could do an endoscopy now. She is barely managing school and all this diet and sick stuff. She is truly terrified of invasive medical procedures-- you should see what it took for me to get her to do just a blood test -- that's a long story, she had a very very bad experience with a blood draw when younger -- and it would stress her out completely, which is the last thing she needs. She is also terrified of medication (like being put under) so I don't want to put her through it unless I am really convinced there is no other alternative. When we looked into the testing a few months ago -- it seemed that the endoscopy is not even really definitive -- seems like alot of torture for something you cannot be sure of. Why wouldn't it be ok to test and experiment with her reaction to wheat - the same way you all are doing with all foods? The whole celiac thing is confusing and disturbing, so extreme -- i really don't know what to do with that. I am kind of leary of western medicine, i have to say. I know it has a place -- but you don't have to look far (on your own message board) to see how off base some doctors can be sometimes, and how often they can make things worse. I really hope I don't offend anyone -- these are just my own very personal feelings, I realize alot of people would not agree with me on this -- i'm probably too extreme in that direction. For all those reasons, I am leary of torturing her with alot of scary tests, when it seems like trying the diet ideas and seeing how she reacts should be good enough, if they work. Of course -- if she doesn't improve dramatically, then I think we need to pull her out of school and do some testing while she is home. Does that make sense?
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I agree totally for her to be tested for diabetes! Weight loss, increased water intake, increased urination are cardinal signs. I am a diabetic with IBS-so they can exist together. I know you don't like western medicine-but it is really necessary at times!!! Get some testing done  Mary
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Whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger!
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I can definitly relate to not wanting to get the medical tests done. I've had a sigmoidoscopy, barium enima, flouroscopy with a bowel series, and lots and lots of blood tests. When I went in to my GI Specialist a couple weeks ago, I was determined to tell her no more tests. Well, she raised a very good point that she couldn't prescribe me any medication that might help me unless she is thoroughly convinced that I do not have any other disease that might be worse than IBS. The medication she might prescribe me might make it worse if it's not just IBS. So the end result was that I walked out with an appointment next month for an upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy. Although I'm very nervous about having to get an IV in me, I know that these are my last two tests and then the GI Specialist and I can work on seeing what works and what doesn't with my IBS.
Getting blood tests done is also a horrific experience for me too. I have a phobia of needles (we can't figure out why) and am very lucky that I have such a wonderful mother that goes with me everytime to get my blood taken. Everytime I need one, I can't eat for the entire day (have been known to be so upset that I throw up) and have to lie down as I faint everytime I'm upright. Even when I'm lying down, I end up sobbing uncontrolably for a good 20 minutes before, during, and after just because of all the built up stress/tension - not to mention my IBS flaring up.
Although it is ultimately you and your daughter's decision, I would really recommend getting the testing done to rule out any really serious problems that she may have. It will put your and your daughter's mind to rest knowing that it's only IBS. I'm very thankful now that my mom has made me go through all these tests, even when I've protested and made excuses why not to do them.
Also explain to your doctor about your daughter's fear of bloodtests and sedatives. He/she may be able to come up with a different alternative or be able to run all the tests on one vile of blood maybe.
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- Jennifer
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Hi Barb
This sounds all to familiar! I am in college (senior at Syracuse University), but I was diagnosed with IBS my sophmore year when I too was living in a dorm. Like your daughter, I was losing a ton of weight and my mom was going crazy trying to figure out what to do for me. My mom was a wreck...she was crying also and said she hated to see me so tortured. It is torturing and I know where your daughter is at right now. It feels like an uphill battle, but it can get so much easier if she talks to people about it. Please have her email me and I can try to help answer some of her questions and explain what I did. To give you an idea of how sick I was, I went from about 107 to 88 pounds in less than a year (and now I am at 105). My mom was beside herself. The best thing she did for me was support me and offer to help me in any way possible. She would send me homemade breads from Heather's book and she would email Heather with questions.
I think you should contact her because she knows exactly where you are comming from. She went throught the same thing and I know she would want to help you. Her email is Taxi275@aol.com and her name is Robin. She will have lots of advice and support for you! My email is KrisBact7@aol.com and feel free to contact me anytime, and tell your daughter to also because I would love to help her!
I hope to hear from you soon
Kristen
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