I Feel Like I Need to Apologize
#14826 - 07/24/03 03:47 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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. . . for my earlier post. I was "Mad as Hell" this afternoon, but I can be a nice person, I promise. I can't believe I got so angry about my birthday night out. I have bipolar disorder (more commonly known as manic depression) which causes me to have extreme highs and lows. I realized that I had 2 Diet Cokes at lunch today and that is a big no-no for me, not only because of my IBS, but because the caffeine puts me in a near manic stage. You think PMS is bad; the mood swings with bipolar are ten times worse. I am on a new mood stabilizer, but you would never know it. I don't think it's working too well! Ha! I got in a huge argument with my husband last night at Pottery Barn, and then I had fights with both of my teenage boys this morning. Then came home and wrote that ugly message on this board. Several hours later, I read the post and couldn't believe how mean and nasty I was. I'm not excusing my behavior, just trying to explain. Am I still on the board, or have you guys kicked me off? I wouldn't blame you if you blackballed me!
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Lucky you...not only have you been blessed with IBS, but bipolar disorder too! 
Don't worry about venting. That's what we're here for. Besides, it adds a little exitment now and then on the boards, don't you think?  And, we all know you're a sweet person anyway. It's just when you gotta vent, you gotta vent! I hope the vent made you feel better. 
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We all have our ups and downs and you have a lot on your plate to deal with. I don't think even the "saintliest" person alive has not given in to anger and frustration at some time.
You're hereby excused!!! 
Kerrie
(I could write a book on mood swings at the moment)
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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At least you put into words what I'm sure a lot of us are feeling. You are most definitely excused and from what I've read from you, you are a lovely person and we certainly want you here on the boards. Keep smiling!
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If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
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I didn't think your post was mean at all! It would have ruffled my feathers if I went out to dinner and the waitress gave me a hard time for my menu changes/requests! It's also embarassing at times...who needs a person we don't even know making us feel worse about the whole thing?
I'm sorry for all you're dealing with. That's really tough! But it sounds like you're doing the right things--especially venting here! I agree with Kerrie "You are hereby excused!" (Kerrie, you're adorable!)
I hope you will continue to post...or we'll have to send out a search party
I hope you have a much better today...feel good...and happy Friday!
*hugs*
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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NOT AT ALL!!!!!!
We have to have SOMEWHERE to express how we REALLY feel. Honestly, I think there is a time and a place for both encouragement (i.e., "It could be worse", "at least you don't have so and so") but there is also a time and a place for "I know, you're right, it sucks and I wish you didn't have to deal with this!!"
Hugs to you and vent anytime. I wish I could express myself so well! Sometimes I feel angry or frustrated and I feel guilty if I bring it up at all. I don't think it's healthy to keep it pent up inside, either.
We're here for ya!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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I just went back and read your "Mad as Hell" - hadn't read it yet! It's the rotten, inconsiderate server who should be apologizing, not you!! You have every right to order what you want and be served graciously! I totally understand the frustration - been there for 20 years - and I sometimes think that as I've been on the diet for over 1 month(not a long time!) that everything should be fine - not!
I've come to realize that this will take time, even though we'd all like a "miracle cure".
Remember that venting or letting your frustrations out is healthy & releases stress (you can use that line on your husband if you like!)
Have a good day
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Leah
"Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul"
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Don't worry about it. If you can't say it here, where can you say it??? That's one of the valuable features of this forum.
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Wow! I didn't realize there was so many people out there that cared about me (and to think I've never "met" any of you.) I just want to say thanks to all of you that responded so warmly to my posts yesterday. It's nice to know that so many of you have felt my frustration and understand how I feel.
RLU, when you said you do everything right and it's not fair that your overweight friends don't and they are fine, that's exactly how I was feeling the other night at my birthday dinner. Everyone around me was pigging out on alcohol and rich, fattening foods and I was feeling so sorry for myself because I was depriving myself and knew I would be the only one in PAIN the next day!
To those of you who admitted they have cried because of their IBS, I appreciate that because it makes me feel more normal.
Michele, I took your suggestion and downed some Fibercon tablets last night (I took 3 which was probably too many but I was panicking because I hadn't had any fiber supplements yesterday.)
And for Mags, who wants to know how I felt after my day and a half of "being BAD"----eating loads of junk food, drinking Diet Pepsi, and not taking my Citrucel---you're not going to believe this. I have had 3 BM's this morning--not diarrhea, but regular ones and I feel better than I have in weeks. I guess while I'm confessing that I need to admit this too---I had a phillysteak sandwich with my boys last night (a greasy steak sandwich with cheese, sauteed onions, and bell peppers.) I figured I'd be doubled over in pain this morning, but have had the opposite effect. That's the first beef and cheese I've had since I started this eating plan almost 2 months ago. Either I don't have IBS or my body just needs some junk food to get things moving. I'm very confused! One thing I will say, I feel much better after that caffeine got through my system. My doctor has warned me to stay away from it, but I just won't listen to him!
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When I was on Weight Watchers, there were so many members at the meetings complaining that they were experiencing constipation for the first time ever. They were adding more fruits and vegetables and a lot more fiber, but were constipated! My guess is that that has to do with the reduction of fat in their diet. I'm not advocating anyone eat a high fat diet; However, I do think that if you don't add any fat to your diet, you will make your constipation worse. That's what has happened in my case, anyway. When I get really desperate with my IBS-C and eat something high in fat such as peanut butter or chocolate, it tends to help me go. Just my two cents worth!
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Don't feel bad at all!
You and your venting is welcome anytime! No one judges anyone for venting here. It's so nice to have a place to be like that and have everyone understand.
Honestly - I went home and told my husband about you last night and how terrible I felt for you because I understand totally what it's like.
Please don't feel bad, everyone is human and has bad days. Don't be so hard on yourself!
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Hi - You're right, you (and everyone else) need fat in their diet. Fat free is just not healthy. And you're right that it's likely to get things moving for you, as fat is a huge gastrointestinal stimulant.
Try gradually increasing your daily quantity of healthy fats, like olive oil, canola oil, avocados, ground nuts, salmon or tuna, flax oil, etc. Have the fats incorporated with soluble fiber, and work up from 20% of your diet or so to 30%. That might be really helpful - just go slow and steady, and keep the fats as heart-healthy as possible.
Best,
Heather
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Heather is the Administrator of the IBS Message Boards. She is the author of Eating for IBS and The First Year: IBS, and the CEO of Heather's Tummy Care. Join her IBS Newsletter. Meet Heather on Facebook!
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