Hi simba! Welcome to the boards!
The cereal question is pretty simple: use soy or rice milk instead. Personally, I find Rice Dream rice milks to be the tastiest and most "milk-like", but everyone's preferences vary.
Sugar is not an IBS trigger, so it's safe to eat (although you'll want to watch how much you eat, most likely!). As long as a cake is low-fat and contains no whole eggs, dairy, or butter, it's *basically* safe (taking into account that everyone's different, and some people can tolerate some things better than others). Angel food cake is a terrific cake for IBSers - totally safe. For other cake recipes, see the recipe index - I'm pretty sure there's a carrot cake in there.
Good luck, and welcome again!
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