Gaslighting by Gastroenterologists. You're Not Imagining It. And It's Not Just You.

If you've ever had a doctor tell you IBS is "not a serious illness", "it's nothing to worry about", or "it's just stress," this is really going to hit home.

A new AGA review is finally admitting to what many IBS patients have personally experienced for years: medical gaslighting by their gastroenterologists.

Here are the top three points:

1. What the term medical gaslighting actually means — and what it does not mean.

2. Why IBS patients are so uniquely vulnerable to being dismissed by gaslighting doctors

3. Why this kind of gaslighting is not just annoying or frustrating, but deeply harmful

And then I'm going to tell you what you can do about this so at your next doctor's appointment you are heard, you are taken seriously, and you're not just sent home with a shrug.

I'll admit that today's topic has me ticked off. I've spent decades helping people with IBS understand what's going wrong with their bodies and how to get their lives back. And I'm here to help you as well, because I'm pretty sure this is going to tick you off too.

In fact, if you have IBS, I would bet the farm you know exactly how it feels to be dismissed by the very people you went to for help. Upsetting? Infuriating? Devastating? I personally spent 7 years begging my pediatrician, Dr. Gortner, for help with my IBS, and I couldn't even get her to refer me to a GI doctor. My symptoms didn't fit anything she'd heard of, you see, so that meant there was nothing wrong with me. I literally don't even know how many times I left her office in tears.

This is a crystal clear example of medical gaslighting. Let's get into exactly what that means to you. Point #1 - What does the term medical gaslighting actually mean? — and what does it not mean?

The new research paper from the American Gastroenterological Association, titled Medical Gaslighting in Gastroenterology: A Narrative Review From Pediatric and Adult Practice, defines medical gaslighting as - and let's emphasize this:

"the dismissal or minimization of patient-reported symptoms without good reason."

In plain English, it means when you tell a doctor "I am in pain," and the answer you get is "Are you sure?" – that's medical gaslighting.

When you tell a doctor "I can't leave the house because of diarrhea," and the response is, "Maybe you're just anxious." – that's medical gaslighting.

If you say, "I'm so bloated I look pregnant," and you're told, "Your tests are normal, you're fine." – that's medical gaslighting.

There is one thing to be careful with here. Gaslighting by a gastroenterologist is not the same thing as your doctor saying, "I don't know" or "I'm not sure yet." Medicine is complicated. The human body is complicated. And IBS is really complicated.

A good doctor may not be able to diagnose you right away, or have all the answers once you are diagnosed. That's not gaslighting.

The key difference is this: A respectful doctor says, "I don't know yet, but I believe what you're telling me, here's what I'm thinking, and here's a plan."

Gaslighting is when you're told, "Your tests are all normal, so there's nothing wrong with you." Those are two very different conversations.

One gives you a path forward. The other leaves you standing in the hospital parking lot crying. (I'm looking at you, Dr. Gortner.)

And by the way, if you have questions about anything in this video, please post in the comments. I'll try to answer everyone.

So onto point #2 from this new research, which explains why IBS patients are so uniquely vulnerable to being dismissed.

IBS is almost perfectly set up for gaslighting by doctors.

Not because it's imaginary. It most definitely is not.

But because IBS symptoms can be hard to measure and tough to quantify. Pain, bloating, urgency, constipation, diarrhea, cramping, nausea are all real physical symptoms. But they don't always show up neatly on an imaging scan or blood test.

IBS also does not have one simple diagnostic test for everyone that comes back with a definitive "yes, you have Irritable Bowel Syndrome." Diagnosis depends on your symptom history, making sure your symptoms fit the Rome Criteria for an IBS diagnosis, ruling out red flag symptoms and disorders that can mimic IBS, plus a doctor who actually listens. And hopefully cares.

But that is where things can go wrong. So – very – wrong.

The AGA review points out that gastrointestinal symptoms are often subjective, invisible, and episodic – they come and go. In other words, you can look perfectly fine on the outside while your gut is having a meltdown on the inside.

It's the invisibility that I think really matters.

If you walk into a doctor's office with a broken arm, people understand something bad happened and you need medical care. If you walk in with IBS, it can feel like you have to prove you're really suffering while staying calm, polite, and unemotional. Which is a neat little trap, isn't it? If you cry, you're too anxious – maybe even hysterical?

But if you're cool and collected, how bad could your symptoms really be?

If you bring in notes, a symptom journal and a food diary, you're obsessive.

But if you don't have notes, your symptom history seems vague.

With IBS, your story IS the medical evidence — unless the doctor decides your story – meaning you - are not credible.

Too many IBS patients know this dance. And none of us want to be on this dance floor.

There's one additional finding from this review that will piss you off even more. The researchers found that gaslighting is more likely to affect women.

Huh – I'm shocked, totally shocked.

That sexist finding really matters because IBS already disproportionately affects women – about 2-1 compared to men. And women's pain has a very long, very ugly, and ongoing history of being minimized or flat out denied.

But back to the gaslighting – it won't surprise you that it's not just women who are more likely to face dismissive doctors - children, people of color, elderly people, people with less money, and people with a complex illness are all more likely to be victims of medical gaslighting. This is where the real damage begins.

Because that's point #3 from this research. Medical gaslighting is not just annoying or frustrating – it's deeply harmful.The painful truth is that having your symptoms dismissed does not make those symptoms any better. It just makes your whole experience worse.

When patients feel dismissed, they are likely to delay care. They stop asking questions. They avoid follow-ups. They logically assume no one will help them anyway. With IBS, that hopelessness can become dangerous.

A previous study in Clinical Gastroenterology and Hepatology ("Suicidal Ideation in Patients With Irritable Bowel Syndrome", Clinical Gastroenterology and Hepatology, Volume 2, Issue 12 p1064-1068, December 2004, Vivien Miller ∙ Louise Hopkins ∙ Peter J. Whorwell) compared IBS patients with patients who had active inflammatory bowel disease.

The findings were sobering.

Among the patients with more severe, hard-to-treat IBS who had been referred to specialist care 38% had seriously contemplated suicide because of their bowel symptoms.

That's compared to 15% of patients with active inflammatory bowel diseases.

Let that sink in.

Severe IBS patients in this study reported suicidal thoughts at a higher rate than patients with active inflammatory bowel diseases that can literally kill you.

And the researchers were clear: depression did not explain this. Symptom severity, interference with daily life, anxiety, the level of IBS care, and clinical depression all mattered. But the really big theme was hopelessness — from the extreme symptoms, the life disruption, and the wholly inadequate treatment.

That is why "it's just IBS" is not a harmless phrase.

There is no "just" when someone can't work, travel, eat normally, sleep normally, socialize normally, go to school normally, parent their children normally, or leave the house normally – you know, without having to map every bathroom on your route like you're on a commando mission. There is no "just" when your life gets smaller and smaller because your gut is running your life. This is exactly why having your IBS story believed matters so much. Validation is not a luxury here. It is a critical part of your healthcare.

So what can you do about this? How do you protect yourself, your care, and your sanity against medical gaslighting?

Well here's a simple four step framework for your next doctor's appointment: You're going to Track, State, Ask, and Plan.

#1. Track:

Before you see your doctor, track your symptoms for at least one to two weeks. Include pain, stool changes, urgency, bloating, nausea, food triggers you've identified, safe foods you've identified, sleep quality, stress levels, and anything else that affects daily life. You don't have to write a novel, bullet points are fine. But this makes your symptoms and their consequences visible to your doctor.

#2 State:

State clearly and precisely how IBS is affecting your life. Not just "my stomach hurts," but "I've already missed work twice this month due to the spasms and pain and urgency," or "I never eat before leaving the house because I'm so worried I'll have diarrhea while driving," or "I wake up at night from the pain and bloating," or "I can no longer travel because I'm afraid I won't be able to eat anything."

Doctors need to hear about the impact, not just the symptoms.

#3 Ask:

Ask direct questions. Point blank. Write them down on a piece of paper before you leave for the doctor's office and get that piece of paper out before the exam begins. Some good things to ask:

• "What diagnosis are you considering?"

• "What red flags should I watch for?"

• "What would make you order more testing?"

• "What is the treatment plan if this is IBS?"

• "What should I do if this treatment plan does not work?"

# 4 Plan Ahead:

Do not leave your doctor's office with just some vague reassurances. Leave with a list of concrete steps to take next. That might mean:

• a referral to a dietitian to help you eat without fear

• a plan for adding a soluble fiber supplement to resolve diarrhea and/or constipation

• a recommendation for enteric peppermint oil capsules for pain and spasms

• a referral to a therapist who does gut-directed clinical hypnosis for IBS

• prescription medication options

• more lab or imaging test orders if that's appropriate

• or a referral to another gastroenterologist for a second opinion.

And if you still feel you're being dismissed, try stating clearly:

"I understand my tests are normal, but my symptoms are still seriously affecting my life. I need a plan for what to do next."

That sentence is calm, clear, and hard to blow off.

Also, bring someone with you to the doctor's if you can. A second set of eyes and ears can really help, especially if you feel intimidated or exhausted.

And if you do have a doctor gaslight you, find a different doctor. You're not being difficult. You're being responsible.

One last important thing: if IBS has made you feel hopeless, or think about harming yourself, please tell someone immediately — a loved one, friend, a crisis line (you can just dial 988). You deserve help right now, not after you've tried to tough it out on your own.

The big takeaway here?

Gaslighting in gastroenterology is real, just like IBS is real. And IBS patients are especially vulnerable to being victims of medical gaslighting because their symptoms are hard to test, so often invisible to doctors, and tough to measure.

But normal test results do not mean you have a normal gut. And a doctor who says "I don't know what's wrong with you yet" is just doing their job. A doctor who says "there's nothing wrong with you?" That is medical gaslighting. And no one deserves that.

See all IBS Quick Tips!