I came up with this tonight -- it's easy, cheap, and totally satisfies illicit cravings.
about a tray and a half of ice cubes 1/4 C chocolate syrup (Hershey's Lite is safe, or use Better Than Hershey's Syrup) 1 t decaf instant coffee if you can handle it, OR equivalent soy "coffee" 1/2 C or so soy/rice milk
Put ice cubes in blender and give it a whirl to crush about half the ice cubes. Add the rest of the ingredients and blend until smooth. (If you have a crappy blender like I do, you'll probably be left over with a few ice chunkies -- don't sweat it, it'll be fine.) If it's too thick, add more milk -- if it's too thin, add more ice cubes. I used decaf coffee, so if you use soy coffee you might need to adjust the amount.
Pour into a glass and top with whipped topping -- Hip Whip, prepared Dream Whip (if you can tolerate casein), or Cool Whip (if you can tolerate casein and HFCS). Stick a straw in it and drink before it melts.
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC