OMG - you guys are so cool! Thanks for all the replies, you don't know how much it means to me. Things have been kinda hairy at home. I'm still trying to find a place to live, but everything is either nothing available yet, too much, doesn't allow pets (my dog is going with me no matter what!!!), etc.
Actually, it was my decision to end it. Although I love Chris, I don't feel in love with him and I don't feel we should be married. I think I felt like I should be with him, since he's the best guy I've ever been with and treated me great. We were civil - he even agreed he didn't want me to get married feeling that way - but the past week, he's been acting funky. I just want to get out so bad. He's barely speaking to me now and it feels so awkward in my "home".
Anyway, he's been really creepy with the computer too. So, I haven't been getting online at home. I've been checking my email from work. When I was still getting online at home, I went into my email and some were marked read! I think he's snooping through my stuff - not that he's going to find anything, but I still don't appreciate it. I'm super sneaking at work right now to log on here and praying the "cyber police" around here don't bust me, but I was just dying to say thanks for all your kind words and let you know what's going on. Especially since I said I'd be back then disappeared again. I did get a laptop last night - now I just got to get internet on it. I may be going to stay with my dad soon if I don't find my own place. Which I don't mind anyway, because he's got a nice, big inground pool!
Oh yeah - and to top all this off, last night I got into an accident! Nothing major - it was raining and I went to stop at a stop sign. There was a car in front of me and I tapped the rear of her car. No damage, just my plate got a little bent. Well, the cops said no one was at fault, no tickets were issued, and no damage to the cars. As a matter of fact, the cops were actually really cool! This was a first for me. I was terrified of course, because this is the first accident I've ever had. The one cop just kept telling me that's why they call them accidents, relax, calm down, etc. He even pointed to his car and said he'd done the same thing in his car, so don't worry about it. But, of course I had to tap someone's car that complained her back was injured and got taken off in an ambulance. Great. Now, I got to find out what's going to happen with this. This is like the cherry on top.
Or maybe the fact that I just found out my raise didn't get approved, and I probably won't get it till Dec/Jan now could be my cherry.
OK - enough whining and crying from me. But gosh, that felt good to get out!!! Thanks again everyone. I will try to check back in ASAP. Maybe I'll be a rebel and sneak back in from work again! lol
I really do miss you all and wish I was around more. *sigh*
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