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Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today.       07/06/04 08:55 AM Edit Reply Quote LauraSue Reged: 01/14/04 Posts: 4812 Loc: New York City Oh, Barbara, I'm sorry to hear that. I haven't read the other posts yet (I will, they look funny!), but I just wanted to share something with you. Andy and I have been married 20 years now and have been together 23 years. Ten years ago, I almost left him (he doesn't know). We were going through a VERY rough patch. I was so furious with him that I barely spoke to him for a whole year (he never even noticed!! One of my nicknames for him is Sir Laurence Oblivier!!) While I was trying to decide what to do, I gave myself an "emotional divorce" from him. I thought of him as my difficult roommate rather than my husband. This allowed me to gain enough distance, enough perspective that I could see all the reasons it would petrify me to actually leave him!! Then gradually, while I was fretting and stewing over what to do, something shifted. Both in me and my attitudes and in him. Things got more tolerable and eventually they got wonderful again. Now, ten years later, we are more deeply in love than ever, highly compatible in our interests and activities, supportive of each other in times of trouble, and best friends. He's my soul mate. I'm sure we'll have rough patches again. We're both human after all. But THANK GOD I didn't leave him. THANK GOD I didn't say the unforgiveable things that would have damaged our marriage forever. THANK GOD I was guided by Someone who knew better than me what was best for me. Because I sure would have messed up my life otherwise. So give yourself an emotional divorce for a while! You'll come back to your marriage further down the road with new enthusiasm and appreciation for the good things about sharing your life for better or worse with another flawed but forgivable human being. Hope things get better soon. If they don't here's one more good thing about staying married. Statistics show that after a divorce, a man's standard of living goes up on average and the woman's standard of living goes down!! Don't you DARE give him that satisfaction!! -------------------- Laura Keep it simple! Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator

Entire thread It is my 13th Anniversary today. BarbaraS 07/06/04 05:24 AM Thanks for your replies..... BarbaraS 07/07/04 04:53 AM Jumping in a little late, but wanted to resond bamagirl 07/07/04 10:45 AM Re: Thanks for your replies..... JBI 07/07/04 10:05 AM A Different Opinion From Jamie's Bevvy 07/07/04 11:35 AM Re: A Different Opinion From Jamie's JBI 07/07/04 05:26 PM Gee. GEE. Thanks, Jamie! -- nt Bevvy 07/07/04 06:21 PM Re: A Different Opinion From Jamie's LauraSue 07/07/04 01:38 PM Re: Thanks for your replies..... LauraSue 07/07/04 08:56 AM Re: Thanks for your replies..... barbie 07/07/04 06:20 AM Re: Thanks for your replies..... gigi 07/07/04 11:39 AM Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today. #### 07/06/04 11:03 AM Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today. LittleLisa 07/06/04 10:49 AM Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today. RachelT 07/06/04 09:45 AM Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today. LauraSue 07/06/04 08:55 AM Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today. LauraSue 07/06/04 09:03 AM Re: Laura Sue gigi 07/06/04 09:25 AM Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today. torbetta 07/06/04 08:47 AM Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today. Betty F 07/06/04 08:20 AM Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today. countrygirl 07/08/04 06:49 AM Some Thoughts for Barb Bevvy 07/06/04 07:24 AM from my side of the fence... jenX 07/06/04 07:10 AM more... jenX 07/06/04 08:52 AM And Standing at that Fence ..... Bevvy 07/06/04 07:31 AM Oh Bev, please, please, pretty please...... barbie 07/06/04 08:03 AM Cut No Slack -- Bevvy 07/06/04 08:41 AM Nope, no slack will be cut here....and.. barbie 07/06/04 11:25 AM AND -- Bevvy 07/06/04 11:43 AM and more....... barbie 07/06/04 12:32 PM ew. -nt- jenX 07/06/04 08:53 AM toilet seats jenX 07/06/04 08:00 AM hey, i think his wife owes me big! in fact, not only did i train him, he still has that cat! -nt- jenX 07/06/04 08:01 AM Hey, Jen! Do you give classes on toilet seat training? -nt- barbie 07/06/04 08:08 AM my ex is a newlywed with no $, i bet he'd rent out the cat!!! -nt- jenX 07/06/04 08:16 AM To Barbara barbie 07/06/04 06:45 AM Yeah -- What Sis Said Bevvy 07/06/04 07:39 AM Happy anniversary! Thinking of you.---nt--- BL 07/06/04 06:00 AM Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today. Janey 07/06/04 05:39 AM Re: It is my 13th Anniversary today. countrygirl 07/06/04 05:36 AM Barbara and Janey, Happy Anniversary! long post gigi 07/06/04 08:43 AM 20 years Janey 07/06/04 12:19 PM Only three years of marital experience, but... ChristineM 07/06/04 12:37 PM I hope you have a better day, Barabara! Happy anniversary!!!! -nt- peaches 07/06/04 02:47 PM "BaraBara!" Oooh, I Like That, Peaches! -nt- Bevvy 07/06/04 03:09 PM I also hope your day went well - ibsgrl 07/06/04 03:23 PM Oops, typo!! But it's pretty cool, nonetheless! -nt- peaches 07/06/04 03:33 PM Well, I'm only at a measly six years... chinagrl 07/06/04 08:28 AM Re: Well, I'm only at a measly six years... LauraSue 07/06/04 09:00 AM

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