Dearest Bev,
You have done everything humanly possible to rise above the past. When you reached out and invited your mother to visit, it was an attempt of the grandest proportions to bring your and her life to a place where you could "Honor your Father and Mother". Obviously it fell apart in front of you, it was not meant to be! You can take that to the bank!! You are NOT a horrible person, you have forgiven her, given reconciliation your best shot, it still was NOT MEANT TO BE !! And Bev, that can absolutely come from God!!
You did not let the past beat you down, I am telling you once again, I think you are the BEST for giving it that extra mile. Do not beat yourself up about it!
As for rotting in HEll, there is a way to make sure that you do not go there!! All you have to do is get down on your knees, talk to God!! He gave his only son, so that we may have everlasting life!! By accepting Jesus into your heart, all of your sins will be forgiven !!!! Erased !!! There will be no need to explain your self to God when you arrive at Heaven, the gates will open wide for you to walk right through !!
If you are interested in hearing more, and want help with this, send me a PM. I will talk to you until I run out of breathe !!! Sweetly of course. You are not rambling Bev, you are reaching out! I truly believe that God sent me here at this moment to read the posts, so I could be here for you and do my best to answer any questions you may have. If for some reason I feel I don't have every answer you need, I can surely get help to answer them for you! I certainly do not want you to go to HEll either !! THat is very important to me and my place as a Christian to help you!
You are not a "horrible person", far from it girl !
I am here for you, with a heart full of love, gayla
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