Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Wow I really stink at being a penpal. I'm so sorry I missed this whole thread. I am ALWAYS thinking about you and your situation with Vinnie. Hahah I hope that doesn't freak you out -- you just remind me a lot of myself, especially in the areas of usually coming off as really secure and confident, and then having insane moments of stupid jealousy that threaten to ruin everything ... sound familiar?
I'm not going to sit here and echo all the good advice you've already gotten. When I feel they way you feel, the last thing I want to hear is a bunch of cliches about how if it's meant to be, it will be, or how things like this only make you stronger, or any of that, even though I know those things to be true. I do have a kind of random question, and I don't want you to think I'm some kind of creepy Jesus freak or anything ... but what is your spiritual life like? I love going to church, I have a great relationship with my priest and with everyone there, and I always get a kind of peace from praying that I don't get from talking to anyone else. I mean, I do talk to my parents, my siblings, my cousins, and my sisters-in-law, especially when I am not in the mood for any sugar-coating, but somehow praying really helps more than anything.
I really don't want to sit here and preach, but there are a few things I want to say. First of all, prayer and the belief that God really is good and really does have a good plan for you, can help with the lonliness, bigtime. It's so easy, especially in your situation, to feel like you are totally alone in the world. I really try to remind myself as much as possible that I'm not alone.
In general, I'm a total control freak. If I'm meeting up with my boyfriend, I have to know all the plans for the night, how we are getting places, who is meeting us, what he will be wearing .... I need to know all the details in advance. It takes a lot of faith to say okay God, I don't need to know the details, I don't even need to know the general plan -- I'm just going to trust you to work things out for me, and I'm going to do my best to do the things you like in the meantime. That takes so much faith and so much patience -- two things I don't have a lot of, and two things I pray for more of!
Okay ... climbing off the pulpit now ...
That's really the best advice I can give you. Even if you are not a religious person, do your best to accept the fact that you can only control yourself, your actions, and how you respond to other people. If Vinnie really is the man to make you happy, then I hope things work out. If he's not the one for you, then really I hope it's over quickly so you can reflect on what you've learned, and move on to making yourself happy.
It's not easy being a 20-something girl these days, is it? I can never remember if we are supposed to trust men or not ... do you ever feel like the feminists ruined romance? We don't trust men anymore, they don't bother to earn our trust, and nobody knows who is supposed to pay ...

For what it's worth, I'm sending you lots of love and hugs, and you really are in my thoughts all the time, so you shouldn't feel totally alone.
xoxo,
Panda

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Amanda

I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin

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