Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Amanda,
Wow, what a post! Intelligent, eloquent, articulate, compassionate and logical. I especially liked the use of circuitous, I had to get out my dictionary for that one . No wonder you're going to be a lawyer. You don't happen to have any cute law school friends do you? haha just kidding

Ashley,
I agree with what Amanda and most other people have been saying in that you must try to just remain calm about things. I think that there is probably a big combination of concerns going through the BF's head right now and the best thing you can do is just enjoy the time you're spending with him and let him figure things out. Guys do like their space, BUT, if you really are important to him, he WILL come to you eventually for advice or support. Most guys, ok, me at least, like to have some sort of different solutions to a problem in their head before they go to someone for help, so while they're figuring out this solution they may seem a bit distant.

One other thing to consider is the commitment factor. The general stereotype is that guys are scared of commitment. While there are definitely guys who will never go on more than 3 dates with the same girl, the opposite holds true for some women. I think the difference lies in their willingness to express their commitment. They don't want to promise the world until they are sure that they can give it to you.

A girl I dated in college got into a University an hour away and we weren't sure what was going to happen in the relationship. She wanted me to say to her that I wanted to be with her the rest of my life and I was sure we could be married etc. Now, could I see myself married to her? yes. Is she an awesome person? yes. Could I say that I wanted to marry her? No. I was totally not ready yet. I, and I think a lot of guys also, will not mess around with the M word. So I couldn't / didn't say that and we ended up drifting apart and eventually breaking up. However, now we are like best friends and even though right now both of us are single, we have no desire to get back together, we really are better as friends.

Now I'm not saying you guys would be better off as friends, I'm simply saying that the BF doesn't want to make any promises too early. He's happy and comfortable with the way things are and is not ready yet to change it. Getting upset at him will not help him to move into that zone of feeling more comfortable with things.

From your last post though, it sounds as if your just going to enjoy your time with him now. Which I think is a really good thing.

Linz, Kandee and Patricia, Thanks for your kind words, it's too bad all my recent relationships have been utter failures though!

Jamie

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