Hi,
I read in another post that you had some of your own problems with your man this past week and I'm so sorry!!
But I've got some more of my own to dish on you!! Tonight was terrible. My boyfriend went today for his second interview at a town south of boston. (mind you we've been having this argument for weeks now). Basically the thing is is that I'm attending school north of boston in Medford Ma this fall. Which is great, beacuse we could stay in the same state, the plan was to attempt to find a medium so that we could continue living together. He applied to tons of schools that are all over the state. He had five schools seriously pursuing him.. four right near me, and then one south of boston. Well guess which one he falls in love with.. the one far away. And guess which on he will be accepting in a matter of days.. the far away one.
Obviously I've been lobbying for the one closer to me, so that we could still live together. So tonight when he told me I flipped out and started crying. Probably not the best idea, but I couldn't help it. I'm one of those DON'T think before you speak kinda girls unfortunately. So I started crying and did manage to squeak in that I was happy for him that he found somewhere he loves, but then also said I wish you loved me half as much as this new place, because they we could still live together. OH MAN. I'm so frustrated, but I couldn't hold back. I feel as though he knows he has a choice, and its either continue to live with me and have a job, or have this other job that he likes better and see me once or twice a week. I would hands down choose him, which makes me feel like [censored], because he can't fathom why I think its a big deal.
I am NOT someone that takes living together lightly. Up until a year ago I was adamently against living with boys, but then I fell head over heels, and my choice came down to living in DC with my parents 8 hrs away from vinnie, or living with him which he invited me to do. There was no choice, and I thought it was a huge BIG step. Its not something I take lightly. I told him, I don't understand why it is alright for us to be apart for THREE years!! I feel as though by moving in together we were taking a huge step, and now you are like its ok if we dont' live together. I said I WANT you to be the one I come home to, I want to make dinner with you and wake up with you, because we will both be so busy. He says I'm not scared to be alone and live alone. I'm NOT EITHER, BUT I'D RATHER be with him. he doesn't get that. We made a huge step moving in together, we bought a bed for each other for our anniversary. Which will soon be chainsawed down the middle. sarcasm. UGHHH i'm so frustrated. I then said, I didn't realize that you signed up for the i'll live with you till a better offer comes around deal, which probably just pissed him off, but I wasn't gonna sit there and be like ok honey, its alright if we aren't living together anymore. He's like we'll still be together, and I know we would, but its not the same. To me its downsizing the relationship. I'm already heading home for the summer, which means that we have approximately 5 nights living together for the next three years. gross.
The kicker is that these two towns.. my school and his new position are 17 miles away from each other. THATS ALL. THAT IS ALL. but he's adament that its waaaaaay too far to travel every morning through boston from where my school is to his new job. He thinks that driving through boston during rush hour won't be worth it. TO ME WAKING UP NEXT TO THIS KID EVERY MORNING WOULD BE WORTH THE COMMUTE. but thats just me, anyways, I've tried to find alternate routes and ways around it and tried to convince him that we could do something half way, but he says he can't afford to live in DOWNTOWN boston, and I probably can't either but still. I WANT TO TRY. Mostly because he's stubborn and said that he doesn't want to travel during rush hour every morning to his job. blaablaa cry me a river.
I'm probably painting a really bad picture. When I think about it people are probably like she's a fool why stay with this kid. but he is amazing and he is going far in life and when we have fun we have the greatest times in the world. ITS NOT ALL BAD, but you can't help but hide all the bad stuff when you encounter it. Anyways, I know you're thinking it because I'm think it too. In my head i'm like what the hell am I dealing with this [censored] for. Why is this such a big deal to me.. maybe if I had a ring on my finger, the downsizing of the relationship wouldn't be a huge stab in the heart ,but instead its like hmm put your life on hold.. and three years down the line you can come live with me and go back to how things have been for the past two years. I said I'd freakin move to where he is working, but he thinks that stupid, that I should be close to my school and classes, and that we'll still get to see each other.. just not live together.
Its important to me though. Anyways, he got pissed at me.. I probably would have been too, but right now he's one of my least favorite people in the world and I feel like a freakin job is being chosen over me.. but regardless, I realized I was being a biatch.. and I went to apologize. Not for how I'm feeling but because I'm sorry that I'm not more supportive and happy for him and being a really bad girlfriend and he wouldn't even listen. He said he had to finish writing his paper. Which made me even more angry cause I'm trying to suck it up and say sorry for not being more suppportive and he just walked out the front door and said he had to get his work done. So with 5 nights left together.. three of which he is working, he's left the house. GREAT. I feel terrible. 
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
AmandaPanda.. and any others that want to help with boy problems!
