When I was first diagnosed with IBS, I was working in California at a high-pressure job. I changed jobs, assuming I could get rid of the IBS when I got rid of the stress. It didn't work -- so I reduced the number of hours I worked. That didn't work either.
So, like you, I figured I would get better if I moved to a slower type of life situation. I retired and moved up north here. No job = no stress, right? WRONG!
My IBS got even WORSE than ever. What I didn't realize was that the stress had nothing to do with my job or my environment, but everything to do with ME, with how I perceived myself and my surroundings.
I didn't realize any of that until I got into Michael's program. I'm so glad you got the tapes -- now you need to focus in on them. Have you begun yet?
Your post is not at all a "pity party." Expressing how you're feeling is helping to "get it out" and reaching out for others' help and guidance. It's very healthy -- don't apologize.
Keep us posted on your progress with Michael. Don't expect instant results; just listen to him and enjoy the music, enjoy your time with him, make it a special time for just you and Michael.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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