thanks tara.....and no...I'm not mad at you for anything you said. It's all very much appreciated. My family does know that I have "tummy trouble" and can't eat certain things...but they don't know about the anxiety. They know about the depression....but they all figure I'm better because I got off the meds. I don't want to disappoint anyone by having to go back on them. I know they would understand, but I would feel like a failure. I'm very hard on myself. I've been to a therapist...but the one I saw is no longer in town. I didn't really like pouring my guts out to someone in person that I didn't know. She did help me figure out a few things....but being timid...I didn't let her help me fully I don't think. Anyway....thank you for understanding and for your suggestions and insight. {{{hugs}}}