My husband and I were just talking about this the other day. IBS is a part of who you are, period. That doesn't mean that it has to define you. For me I look at it like a diabetic would look at themselves. You have to keep your IBS in mind when you are eating, just like a diabetic would. I'm not trying to diminish the effect of diabetes but only to put it into perspective. Let's say you are out with friends for dinner. You choose your food from the menu keeping in mind your IBS, order, then move on to having a pleasant evening with stimulating conversation with your friends. Just like someone with diabetes you have to think about the effect your meal will have on your body, then you put it out of your mind. Like many people here have said, the more you dwell on it the more problems you will have.
For me personally all I have to do is look at my 3 kids and know that there is more to life than IBS. My kids are pretty well versed about IBS now, they need to be. They love me and are curious to know why I can and can't eat certain things. I have missed many, many things because of my IBS, but I am determinded not to let it ruin my life. It's not fair to me, my kids or my husband. When I am feeling bad they will offer to make me food to help me or just lay on the couch with me. When I'm feeling good they are always there to have fun with me. I don't want to get to the end of my life and have any regrets.....especially due to my IBS. For instance my oldest is graduating high school this year so we are planning our last family vacation with all of us to DISNEY WORLD!!! I could look at it and think of all the negatives but I choose not to. Bathrooms, food, stress, heat, spending 5 billion dollars? Who cares? I choose to look forward to this and know that we will all have a wonderful time. My kids deserve it, my husband deserves it and I deserve it.
I know sometimes it's hard to keep a positive outlook, especially when you are feeling bad. I'm having one of those days myself today. But I can't look at my life and think about being miserable. I have to believe I am here for a reason and it's not to be sick. It's part of who I am but I refuse to let it define me. I love to play games and be outside and to spend time with my kids. I would rather people think about that when they think about me than to think I'm the chick with the IBS.
Look around you and think about all the positive wonderful things in your life. When you start to think about feeling bad or saying no to an invivitation because of your IBS think about the people in your life that you love. What would happen if your first instinct was to say yes instead of no? Say yes to the next social inviation you get. Say yes to the next 10 invitations you get. Think about what fun you will be opening yourself up to. Food for thought.
If none of this works, think about someone who has problems that are worse than yours and how they are dealing with them. My sister in law has been diabetic for about 14 years. She doesn't dwell on what she can't have but makes substitutions and enjoys everything she eats. About 6 months ago she was diagnosed with MS. She had been having problems with walking and numbness. She now has to take 3 additional shots a week along with her daily 4 shots for diabetes and do physical therapy 3 times a week for the rest of her life. She just turned 40. She is honestly the most positive person I know. She is determined that MS will not interfere with her every day life. She is one who leads by example. She will be the first in line for a ride at any amusement park, the first in line for playing a game or the first in line if you need a shoulder to cry on. I look at her and think, if she can handle everything she's gone through and still be positive, who am I to complain?
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Re: How do we seperate ourselves from our illness?
