The thing with urgency is that it is a vicious cycle. Once the urgnecy is there, the anxiety of the urgency makes the urgency worse. Try the sphincter exercises for bowel control. Once you know you can handle the urgency, without it freaking you out, the anxiety will lessen, and the urgency will lessen or go away completely. Try some relaxation, stress relief, meditation, or the hypno cd's and stick with it. Give it time to work. After all, the fear involved with urgency is not the urgency itself, but the fear of soiling yourself in a public place.
Something else you might want to try is while you are home, practice with the urgency. Let it go for as long as you can. I bet your urgency is not quite as bad at home, where you feel safe and near a toilet, but I bet when you are out or ready to go out, it exacerbates. This is all part of the anxiety connected with the urgency. Practice at home and do some exercises for bowel control, and see if that doesn't help. HTH
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