Hi all,
I am new to this forum, but needed to find some folks who know what this is all about. This may be a rather long story, but I feel like if I tell you the whole tale, maybe someone out there can relate, and offer some advice.
I have been a constipated person ever since I was a little girl. I can remember being forced to eats prunes at summer camp because I hadn't gone for days. As an adult, I can remember times having to actually dig the stool out, I was so miserable. Now, I know that is very gross, but I want to be as honest as possible. I have always been bloated after maybe a few bites of food...so bad that I would usually have to unsnap my pants. I am now 54 and everything stayed the same until last year. I fell July of last year and fractured by back. Besides the pain, I was dealing with money issues, an uncompassionate work environment, stress from lack of sleep and having to get to work, etc. It was an extremely stressful time for me. I only took a week off from work, and then would try to go in on several hours sleep.
Let me go back a little in time here. I have a pre-existing anxiety disorder. Not panic attacks, but just a generalized anxiety disorder, so this situation did not help at all. Most anxious people run from doc to doc, but I am the exact opposite. I avoid them like the plague. So, during and after the accident, it meant the ER, and numerous doc appointments, so needless to say, I was a nervous wreck. I have never felt to this day, that I have recovered from the trauma of the fall, and I did not give myself the correct time/way to heal. Now, I am paying the price.
After the accident I did not take one pain killer. I survived on 600 mg of Motrin, whenever I couldn't take the pain anymore. I slept in a back brace for 4 month or longer and worked during all of this.
After I got back on my feet, I started to notice I would go to the bathroom very easily. I would have quite a few stools in the AM only, passed very easily without any strain. I thought that was weird, but put it down to maybe a slight case of gastritis from being on the Motrin for so long. Well, one morning I was driving my grandson to school, and I swear I did not think I was going to make it to the school and back. All morning I had this watery diarrhea. At that time, I just thought I had a bug, and kind of forgot about it. Then I continued to have all kinds of strange stools, from constipation, to mud/pudding consistencies, to ribbons, to pieces, to total explosive water, etc. You get the point. Well, then I started to really freak out, because I had just read about Farrah Fawcett and her colon issues.
So, I continue with this crap for awhile. Some days I would be fine and then BAM, out of the blue I would have this urgent need to get to the bathroom. Sometimes, it felt just like gas, but I was afraid to expel it for fear it was stool and I would mess my pants. Sometimes, I would get to the bathroom in a rush and nothing would come out. False alarm! But, the strange thing is, it is only in the morning. I would hear these strange rumblings from my stomach, and I kind of knew I was in trouble. After I got through about mid-morning I was fine the rest of the day.
Well, I broke down and found a doc I thought I could tolerate. Of course, he had no understanding of anxiety disorder. I won't even bother telling you the stupid question he asked me. By that time, I had lost 15 pounds. So, he gives me a script for all of this blood work, hormone testing, thyroid testing, adrenal, diabetes, etc. You name, he had it listed. Well, the strange thing is after I got the script, I started to feel fine, and started to eat again and pick my weight back up, and just went back to the normal constipation. Oh my God, I welcomed it. At least with the constipation, there was not this fear, urgency, and anxiety. And this is not to say that those out there with this condition are not in pain, however, for me personally it was easier to handle. It did not effect my lifestyle. I did not fear leaving the house with the constipation.
So, I forgot all about my previous problems and went for months not even thinking about it. I never did get the blood work done.
Now, to early spring of this year. I started to have some nasuea, bloating, and again, the morning soft stool, runny stool, or whatever it would decide to do for that day. Now, this would be once a month then it would be gone. It was aggravating, but I could deal with a day or two a month.
Skip forward to summer. Well, now it is coming weekly or bi-weekly. This week it has been every other day. I am freaked out driving to work, because it never fails, as soon as I get on the road, I have to find a bathroom. I have a 30 minute drive to work, so this is the most stressful situation I have ever dealt with. Every darn morning, I am scared I won't make it. Today, I heard the rumblings, so I thought let me try this Immodium stuff, so I took two. I then sat on the toilet for as long as I could, and had a few normal stools. I thought OK, I should be good to go. I get to work, and barely make it into the bathroom (only one bathroom at work-so embarrassing), and have what I call a total blow-out. It is over by about 9:00 or 10:00, but I am exhausted from the stress of it. And of couse, everyone in the office hears it.
I did go and have a colonoscopy and that was fine. So, I have spent so much money already on whatever this is, I just don't know what to do. These docs really don't listen to you and I find them to be pretty stupid most of the time. The doctor that did the colonoscopy said it was my gallbladder. Funny thing is, I had just finished filling out six pages of pre-surgical documents, and had he read any of them, he would have known...I don't have a gallbladder.
I thought well maybe it is the removal of my gallbladder that is causing this. But, I don't think so, beacause I had that removed in 2001, so I don't think problems would start 7 years later. And it is too coincidental that it started right after a very stressful period in my life.
So, I found this website. I have tried the calcium with each meal, but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I don't know my trigger foods/drinks, because I can go days and eat anything I want with no problems, then I will have a blow-out. So, I don't know which food/drink is causing this. It seems the more backed up I get, the worse it is when it does come. This condition follows no rhyme nor reason with me.
The one saving grace for me, and believe me I am so grateful and thankful is that I do not have cramps, and it is only in the AM. I am thinking I need to find an evening job, or I am going to have to start getting up an 4:00 to get this crap out of me, so I can drive to work. At this point, I just want to work from home. This is so distressing to me.
I bought the Acacia fiber and started that last weekend. Yesterday, I had some formed stool, but still not normal, and today was a blow-out. I am not sure if the fiber caused that, or if it was just my normal thing. I have been taking 1/2 teaspoon in the morning and at night. I also take a couple of the Digestive Advantage each day, along with the calcium and Immodium. I don't take all of this every day, but when you are at work with this condition, you will do almost anything.
It is so hard to explain to your family why you really can't do anything in the AM. Or maybe you can, but you don't want to risk it. It is hard enough getting to work. Now, I am trying to find excuses to come in late. I just can't keep going on like this.
I think maybe I will continue with the Acacia fiber, and give it a fair chance. But, if it continues to seem to exacerbate this condition, then maybe it is not for me. I don't want to live on drugs. At 54, I take no meds at all, so I hate being tied to pills. I think I may explore alternative therapies, since I am very open to that. I just don't think Wester medicine can handle this. I am sorry, but I find the docs unreasonable, they will not listen to you, and when you try to explain to them someone like Heather, who has first hand experience, they laugh at you. After all, she is not a doctor. I just don't have much respect for most of the docs I have been too.
Well, I could go on and on about what I have started to experience on an almost daily basis, but again, I think averyone on this board already knows.
Please offer me help and advice if you can. Sometimes, I jsut cry. It has messed with my life so much, and my family's life, and I just want to be constipated again. I am an active, fun-loving, outgoing person, but now I almost feel like just staying home. I just can't take the stress anymore.
Thanks to all of you for listening. And I am sorry I went on and on, but I don't know where else to turn.
Lynn
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