Well, it happened. Our most dreaded thing. Pooping in my panties away from home. I was staying at the hospital overnight with my daughter who had surgery and had an IBS attack. First day just tons of gas, bloating and some embarrassing expelling of gas. I was in pain but at least I wasn't pooping. Then this morning after I got some breakfast at the cafeteria - egg white omelet and toast - I pooped in my pants and didn't even know it until I went to the bathroom. Now, I am partially incontinent because of poor sphincter muscles. I'm IBS A and go through long periods of C and have to take Miralax (just started Natural Calm) and then I go through a bout of D and the cycle starts over. I hate to imodium for the D because it just leads to worse C after. A vicious cycle. I had just finished a C cycle and had a good poop the day before I went. Didn't take anything preventive and thought I'd be fine. I always carry imodium, pepto bismal, gas x, hyoscopine, tums, peppermint tea bags and pain killers. I am a walking tummy pharmacy. Plus pads and wipes. You know the routine. And I always wear a pad (light poise pads). My BM was a pasty mass and went beyond the pad. But I was prepared and I kept thinking of all you guys and how we go through this thing together. I cleaned up, threw out the soiled panties (had 2 more pair with me). Took imodium immediately. Then hyoscomine (anti-spasmatic). Another accident. Moved into pepto bismal and finally a vicodin. I kept it together by thinking of our great support system here. You guys are the best!!!
Finally after a couple hours of bad cramping it subsided somewhat. The second shift (my daughter's stepmom who happens to be an RN) arrived and I could go home. Two hours to go 43 miles in LA traffic. I just kept repeating "calm produces calm. So what if I poop in my pants again. So what if I get on the wrong freeway. I can cope with all this." My bum hurt so bad and the nerve going down my right leg was hurting and I was worried it would go numb. I did more self talk. "This is just uncomfortable. I can trust my leg to function." Meanwhile I am trying to figure out which lane to stay in for all the freeway exchanges. Somehow I stayed in the right lane to make all the transitions. I seldom go into Los Angeles. The traffic here is horrendous. And I just knew you would all be here when I got home, had my IBS safe meal, lied down a bit and turned to you all.
We can survive IBS mishaps. You all prove it to me through your examples in how you conquer your fears of going to work, going on long drives, staying other places. Thank God I did not have explosive D. I have left trails to the bathroom at home. Yes, many times I am limited by my IBS and incontinence, but when I have to really, really come through I do manage to do it. Not with comfort, but I can. I might have to go back to the hospital tomorrow and I go to help her when she comes home (50 mile drive). I will have to drive back and forth for that as her house is so tiny and she has two kids and only one bathroom. And I can really smell up a bathroom which would gross out the kids. My daughter sick as she was complained about my gas. So please think about me - prayers and support greatly needed and appreciated.
Oh, and last July I was diagnosed with diabetes. This January the endo put me on once daily (in the night) insulin. She said with my IBS I wouldn't tolerate the oral meds. So I have to eat regularly and a certain balance of protein and carbs. It's kind of like a double whammy. I so often get sick eating out.
Love to all of you. And may we have more good days than bad.
Susie
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