Don't worry, your posts never get old. I can relate as I have anxiety, emitaphobia, germaphobia ect too! I do just want to quickly respond to something you said in your post and that is that when I'm feeling anxious or having anxiety, my husband doesn't ever know. I feel that if I tell him about it I'm giving in to it so for me, it's better just to let the anxiety pass on it's own without anyone knowing! I see it worked better for you the last time when you said you didn't tell your wife. Look at it as I do. Don't let it take over you. You take IT over! You'll feel much better! I don't think it's a matter of masking it like you said, I think it's just that when we feel anxious we know we can/should work through it on are own and it will make us feel that if we do it once, we can do it again!
Hope you are feeling better!!!
P.S. As far as the pot thing....my neighbor who has both anxiety and IBS SWEARS by it! I've been have tempted but just can't bring myself to try it. I don't even smoke cigarettes!