I am truly touched by the support and love I always receive here! I am not a religious person but I agree, I must be here for a reason. I hope someday soon I will figure that out and my path will be clear. At the moment, I feel pretty befuddled, is that even a word?? I feel very mixed up and unsure of everything. I feel little comfort in the fact that I am here. I try, very hard, to see my purpose but it eludes me.
I did talk with Will a little and he says he wants to make the marriage work but I am unsure if I can ever forgive his actions. I know he was hurt by what I did but I did it partly for him, so he wouldn't have to deal with my illness as he seems to have such difficulty with that. I just can not think straight. Not sure if its the meds they have me on or if its just where I am at right now.
I so wish I could take more time off from work but its just not possible. The gal that filled in really messed a lot of stuff up and I can not afford to be not paid, the bills keep coming and don't seem to care if the money isn't!
I try not to dwell on the bad things but that's hard when the bad seem to outweigh the good. Group therapy was actually helpful as I saw some things in myself I hadn't seen before. I guess that is something I will have to work on in my private therapy now.
I really want to be happy but don't seem to know how. It seems that as soon as I had a happy moment, like a juicy puppy kiss the happiness is riped from me by pain of some sort.
However, the happiness I get from the support here feels very nice at the moment. Forgive me for not responding to everyone individually but my hands are pretty swollen today and it makes typing difficult. Love and hugs to all!
-------------------- Taking it one day at a time.....
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Re: Thanks everyone
I feel very mixed up and unsure of everything. I feel little comfort in the fact that I am here. I try, very hard, to see my purpose but it eludes me.
