Re: Back from Scotland, saying hi to all, ex advice needed...
10/27/07 04:17 PM
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First of all, I'm sending a ton of giant hugs your way. (((((HUGS)))))
I cannot even imagine all that you must be feeling right now. It sounds like you're well on your way to accepting that this is your new reality. Part of that maybe needs to be accepting that your ex was not exactly the man you thought he was.
Also, right now he's invigorated by his new relationship in the same way that you will be when the time is right. I've seen that with my FIL as he has remarried after my MIL's passing. FIL is not the same person, and he certainly doesn't treat his new wife the way he treated my MIL. Why? Well, I think there are a lot of reasons for it, but part of it is just that he's in "new love" again instead of "married for 20+ years with kids love." Anyway, my point is that it's nothing you did wrong. Simply being with someone new is going to bring out these hurtful changes in your ex.
You're deep in the trenches of the pain right now. Everyone I've ever spoken to about divorce says that it's one of the most painful things that can happen to a person. You will come out the other side, though. Just have faith that is not the end of your life; it's just the start of a new, exciting chapter.
Anyway, I really don't know what I'm talking about, so if any of this rubs you the wrong way, feel free to ignore it. Just know that we're all here and that things will get better for ya. Big (((((HUGS))))!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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