...like you, constantly berated myself for giving in and putting myself in situations I didn't desire, just because I felt obligated.
I think it's really unfair that your husband isn't more understanding, especially when you have an extremely persuasive reason as to why you can't go on Friday. He should be supportive of your decision instead of making you feel worse about it. That's just insensitive. Plus, I don't get why he says that if you didn't go that Friday as well that you couldn't go Saturday through Sunday? What's up with that? In my opinion, he should be happy to have two days camping with you rather than zero, right? You're making an effort and you want to go. It's not like you're hemming and hawing over it and protesting and making lame excuses why you can't go for a longer period of time.
If I were in your shoes and on the receiving end of that ultimatum, I would have said, "Fine. If you won't accommodate my schedule, then I won't go at all. Have fun!" And then I wouldn't have mentioned it again and acted like I didn't care (even if I did) just to impress upon him that I meant business and he better respect my wishes and my stance on the subject.
Because I used to be such a people pleaser I learned that when you become a "yes" person, the people around you the most expect you to give in. They press and press until they break your will. To me, that is not right and it's disrespectful, even when our loved ones mean well. I've become fierce about turning down people when I know I don't want to do what they're asking, or when I simply don't feel physically able. I dealt with a lot of guilt at first, but as time progressed and I asserted myself more and more I really felt better, stronger and more in control of myself.
I look at it like this, if you're so conscientious of others' feelings, then they should be just as conscientious of yours. Right? So, if you don't want or can't do what they're asking, big deal! It doesn't mean you can't do something in the future, it doesn't mean you hate them, it doesn't mean you're rebuking them personally. It just means "Sorry, not this time. If you care about me, you'll understand."
I'm sorry you're in this position. Hopefully he will come around and understand where you're coming from. And maybe, if you seriously don't want to take of Friday, then tell him you asked and your boss said no because you have an important meeting or something to do that day.
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It's okay. I used to be this bad at "people pleasing" and...
