Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Nugget,

I am the exact same way! I've been seeing a psychologist for a year and a half now. And that was the first thing we addressed. She taught me to understand that I am NOT responsible for anyone else's happiness. That is out of my control. And I can't take care of someone else/please someone else if I'm not taking care of myself first. You have to help yourself before you can help someone else. It's so true. One of my first assignments was to ask my husband for help 3 times. It could be simple things. But it was so tough. I didn't want to "bother" him...make him unhappy. But I made myself do it. I think I asked him to help with dishes one night. At first he was hesitant b/c he's not used to me asking him to do stuff. So it was tough to get that response. But the next time he was like, ok. No big deal. You just have to give things a try instead of worrying about how people will respond. It'll probably go a lot better than you think. Anyway, the point of all this rambling. Focus on you first. And know your limits and how to make yourself happy. Once you know how to do that then you can focus on others. And you are NEVER responsible for someone else's happiness. That is up to them.

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~Mary
Had surgery for rectal prolapse in Sept. '06 and feeling good now! Loving life with our IVF miracle #1.

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