Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Will told me last night that he doesn't think he can live me being sick any more. He actually said that I made myself sick, on PURPOSE , with the fertility treatments I did a few years ago. I had NO IDEA that the fertility treatments could cause the illnesses that I am suffering now and there is no evidence to support that other than I got sick around the same time.

In one breath he told me that I can't just stop taking my drugs willy nilly-I stopped taking the neurotin (an anti-seizure drug that was making me ill) and it wasn't helping me anyways and I am no sicker for stopping it. The next breath, he tells me that I need to stop all my drugs because they are making me sick-remember when all this first starting I was on NOTHING except for pre-natals and a low dose of zoloft (anti-depressant) because we were trying to get pregnant.

All my recent blood work shows I am deficient in pretty much everything, hormones, vitamins and minerals and he wants me to go on a fast for days than eat nothing but rice and juice as his cousin is a health nut freak and says all my problems are food allergies. We know I do not have celiac as we did the upper endoscopy and no spores were found and my blood work is negative.

He says he is depressed because of me, I am mean to him and that I am ruining his life. He says he is $20,000 in debt because of me-he owns his own business, I have no involvement in his finances and my medical bills have run no where near that!

I asked him if he wants me to move out and he didn't answer me and yes he heard me. He says that I have to learn to be happy or he can't be with me. I tried to explain to him that the current adrenal exhaustion has left my body incapable of dealing with stress and that I do have lots of suicidal thoughts because I feel so alone in this. He did not seem concerned. he says I am stubborn and do not listen to him and he needs answers as to what exactly is wrong with me and when I will be better. WTF? What does he think I have been doing at all these doctors appointments, of which he has never ever even been to ONE single appointment with me.

I have no family in the area and no friends to stay with. My boss is really ticked at me for having to miss so much work for all the doctors appointments-I never call in sick no matter how bad off I am ( I have gone in and had to take my shoes off because my feet were too swollen to keep them on, I have gone in on so many pain pills that I would have gone to jail had I been pulled over, I go to work with my hands so swollen you can not recognize my fingers, etc, etc, etc) and I am on the verge of being fired for it. That's going to leave me without an income, without a house, without a husband and without health insurance. And, still sick. I am at the breaking, complete meltdown limit.

I have to leave in 20 minutes to see if they can get the iv infusion in my veins, they told me yesterday they will try my NECK if they can't get it in. But, my husband doesn't think I am doing enough to get well. Please, someone tell me what the hell am I supposed to do. I have seen every kind of imaginable doctor out there, submitted to every test they say, am black and blue for needle sticks again. How much more am I supposed deal with?

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Taking it one day at a time.....

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