Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: Advice about children (long post)!!

Hey there Snowy.
I've been gone for a week so I'm just catching up. Now I can give you my two cents.

I just turned 37. I had my first child at 26 and my 2nd at 30. So, if I have my math right, I have an almost 11 year old and a 7 year old. I was remarried last summer to a wonderful man that just so happens to be 3 yrs. younger than me and has no children of his own.

I said I would never have more kids. Then I met him. I've struggled with many of the same issues you brought up. For one, I feel too old (sometimes). Will I recover well? Will I have the energy for a little one? Two, I worry about the age gap of kids. Will they ever be close? Will I then have another so this 3rd won't be an "only child"? Three, with a 3rd, I will need a bigger home and will have less money to do it with. 4th, I won't be able to quit my job

any time soon. Unless I have twins! Then we won't be able to afford child care so I'll HAVE to quit!

So, those are some of the downsides...

Then I think about how much I love my husband and how I would love to give him a child of his own. I know he'll be a great dad. I know that all my worries about money, etc. will work out as they always do. They say if you wait until you have enough money to have kids, you never will.

I know that I have changed in so many positive ways since becoming a mother. It's life changing, is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. It's the best thing I've ever done and sometimes is the most frustrating and exasperating. I have learned so much from my children. I wouldn't be the woman I am today without them. And I'm sure that after I have the next one (if it's meant to be) that I'll say the same thing.

Snowy, you have time to make your decision. Give it another year before you start thinking about it seriously. You're still young enough. You need to take the time alone with your husband at the beginning stages of your marriage. Enjoy.

Only you (and DH) can make this decision but what ever you do, don't let age rush you into a deciding one way or another. Take some time. And good luck!!

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Flipada - IBS-C "It's a gas, gas, gas"
**Lauren**

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