Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: UPDATE

**If you don't want to read a long, whinging, whining pity-party post than stop here & hit the back button - cause that's exactly what's coming up**

Managed to leave the house in time, and actually enjoyed driving for first time in months (drove pop's car), and even braved the fast lane - woohoo me. Great trip, way ahead of time til BANG, 10 miles short of Mike's place traffic literally stands still for half an hour, end up being ten minutes late. I HATE being late.

This means I'm SO wound up when I get there, but of course Mike completely calms me down, tells me how great I'm doing when I give him all my updates, and alters the planned session a little to help me with some situations I have coming up.

Had an awesome session, literally come out walking on air. Unfortunately then realise I can't pay him - I'm not used to anywhere this century not taking credit cards, so I never have cash. This means a 'quick trip down the road to an ASDA (Wal*Mart)...

Well, should've been quick, and would have been without stupid people putting 3 separate stupid roadworks between the surgery & the store, idiotic drivers causing gridlock and some faulty traffic lights. So it ends up taking half an hour to get there, then 20 minutes there as the car park payment machine is broken, then half an hour back to the surgery to drop the money at reception.

So at this point I'm wound up, but not majorly so, and look forward to drive home. BUT, of course, that would be too easy - within 5 minutes of joining motorway (freeway) a car directly in front of me has a tyre blowout, goes swerving into the next lane, manages to bring it back a bit, then goes careering into hard shoulder. He was fine, didn't hit anything, but obviously shook up - unfortunatley as was my subconsicous: the wonderful 80/85mph driving I'd so thoroughly enjoyed on the way up was a thing of the past, suddenly I'm back down at 50mph, trembling and feeling every bump in the road and pull in the steering wheel.

Then I hit 3 separate lots of traffic, all including standing still for god knows how long, my dad's sat nav goes mental, I completely lose my voice (been going all day) and the journey takes literally TWICE as long as the longest it's ever taken before.

This further pi$$ed me off as I was supposed to get home, pack stuff enough for 2/3 days, head up the motorway for 30 mins to my parents, drop my stuff off and go shopping again - because I have to meet this guy to discuss a potential job I need some smart stuff, and my bags full of designer work clothes are 2 sizes too bloody small.
But now, of course, I'm so late I won't make it to the mall, which means I literally do not have a single thing to wear to meet this guy, who's calling me tomorrow to arrange a meeting, which means I'll have to put him off - not easy when he knows I don't sodding do anything, for at least a few days, to give me time for my tum to get better, poop, and therefore be able to take Immodium again to get me to the mall.

By this point my blood's literally boiling - why do things only ever go well for, like, minutes?!!!

I also see some HORRENDOUS driving in front of and around me, have to go round a diversion, and then just before our house I'm doing like 40mph down a main road (speed limit = 50mph, so was going relatively slowly) and suddenly this stupid old man, who'd been walking sedately down the side of the road, suddenly randomly steps into the road to cross it literally 5ft in front of me - I would have completely flattened him in my dad's great big bloody car if I hadn't thrown it to one side to avoid him, and nearly wipe myself out in the process - as another car is heading towards us going pretty fast.

Pulled up outside house, and literally cried my eyes out for 20 minutes. I've screamed and yelled (which of course heard my voice yet more), my blood is literally boiling and my skin is all tight and tingling, and now I can only whisper.

I guess it didn't help I was only able to get a couple of hours sleep last night, and of course haven't been able to eat hardly anything all day.

BUT WHY DID IT ALL HAVE TO HAPPEN TODAY?!! I am now a million times more stressed and wound up and depressed than I was before my hypno, and feel I've just wasted $80. Can I please just have ONE day where things go well for more than minutes or hours??

Had enough, utterly had enough. I'm tired, seething and feel beaten, angry at the world and at myself. Some days I feel like I'm beating all of this, all the crap that's happened over the past couple of years (you don't even wanna go there), but at other times, like right now, I just want to give in.

And of course J's away for a few days, and I'm headed up to my parents, where I'm now allergic to the cats I lived with for 10 years with no problem and will spend the whole time sneezing, sniffling and itchy.

Ok, I'm done. Off to pack some clothes and smash a few things.

(and now my laptop is doing STUPID, random, unexplainable things - GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

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