Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Stephie...and all...I'm getting to understand some things.

I actually did this today. I felt back all the feelings...

Yes, it does feel rushed to me too. That's why it's driving me so crazy! I did break my promise to me about introducing him to Kayleigh. Firstly, I got way into it, but secondly, he has this...promise, in a guy, that I've never seen before.

I know when Trev and I broke up i was totally in denial for the first bit, before I knew what was going on. As soon as I did though, I was ready to walk away.

And I'd be ready to walk away from this too if I KNEW it was not going anywhere.

Believe me, I realize full well how stupid it sounds! I struggle with how my heart can feel this way so soon.

No, I'm not in a rush to say I love you...now that I do have some perspective on that. I did think about that, in a dream last night...that makes sense that it was a little nutty...so I won't say it for a long while.

I get that he gave me this happiness that I haven't seen in my marriage for a long time. I do see that. And I also see that if it's not meant to be, that I can find that happiness long term... with someone else.

Part of what Jason gave me was this renewed love for the outdoors-hiking, biking,camping-that was something Trevor was never into, but something I was, and lost out on when we got married. I'm already taking Kayleigh on long walks etc this summer, from Jason's inspiring reminder of how much I loved the outdoors.

He also reminded me that I used to write a lot of poetry, and wasn't afraid to say what I felt. This was also halted in me not long after Trev and I got together...for some reason. I guess because he never appreciated it.

So maybe Jason came into my life to remind me of the things I used to love to do with myself before love squashed it all and killed my spirit. It's like he brought my spirit back...and because of that, we had things in common that could have lit our spirit in one another, and that's fabulous.

Does that make sense?

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Keep on keepin' on...

Edited by Coookie (08/09/06 11:18 AM)

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