Hello and Welcome to the boards. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, I totally understand the heartbreak. Not sure which posts you have read but I did get pregnant last fall, with identical baby twins girls, only to go on to lose them at 3.5 months. That makes 5 babies lost in all. The twins would have been due June 16 and I'm still struggling, the hole in my heart and soul runs very deep. I can honestly say it has changed who I am as a person.
They finally did figure out what they believe to be the reason, I have RA (rheumatoid arthritis) although my ANA is still negative, they believe my body is "fighting off" the babies once I finally do get pregnant. I'm seeing a rheumy doc right now trying to get the RA under control, which hasn't been easy. The general consensus between the rheumy and the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) is that IF we can get the RA under control and IF I can get pregnant again, I'd have about a 40% chance of carrying the baby and I'd have to be on steroids and daily injections of blood thinner.
Time is also against me. I will be 36 in a couple of weeks and the rheumy says it will be 6-9 months before the Ra is under control enough to even think about trying again.
Its all very depressing and wears you down. Instead of holding my baby girls, I'm fighting for my health against a terrible and pianful disease. I've been through pretty much ALL the tests and all the drugs so if you like my opinion or just someone to talk to, I'm here. The board is pretty open and I've discussed all things fertility before but if you feel more comfortable talking more privately, feel free to email me at michelebrake@sbcglobal.net.
I haven't decided if we will try again or not. I guess it will depend on my health and if I think I could take another loss. I'd love to adopt but we just don't have the money. For now, this is my new baby! He goes everywhere with me!
Love and hugs!
-------------------- Taking it one day at a time.....