1) invitations should be sent out around two months before the event -- 6-8 weeks-ish.
2) You'll want your RSVPs in as soon as possible -- this is mainly for getting final counts to the caterer as everything else you'll pretty much have to guess ahead of time. If you want your RSVPs to come back, make sure that you make it as easy for them as possible, i.e. a stamped and pre-addressed envelope with a card that they just have to check off if they're coming or not.
3) There is no classy way to say "give me money." And I don't recommend doing it except with close friends and family. Most people still frown upon registration cards in wedding invitations, let alone saying you want cash instead of gifts. but -- I got married two years ago and most people asked our families what we wanted anyway, so they got us stuff from our registry. The people who didn't know our families to ask and didn't ask us directly typically gave us cash or gift cards anyway. I think we really only ended up with a couple gifts that we didn't want. But, we invited these people so they could share in one of the most important days of our lives, not so they'd give us gifts. (OK, and some of them we invited because we were emotionally blackmailed by our parents, but whatever.) You probably won't end up caring too much even if you did get toasters. And if you do have to donate crappy wedding presents to Goodwill's, you can always get a receipt and deduct them from your taxes.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Re: wedding ettique question
