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Worried about my sister - could use some advice
      06/18/06 11:56 AM
Stephie

Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada

Hey guys,

I just wanted to bounce this off someone because I am getting really worried about my sister and it's one of those situations where I don't know if I *can* do anything, or if I *should* do/say anything...
My sister and I used to be really close and we used to hang out pretty often. We always used to go to dinner, and then a movie. Then she couldn't do both, so we'd do one or the other. Then she didn't want to do either, so I'd go to her house and we'd rent a movie. She has a daugher who is seven now, and she won't go out with me 'cause she says she doesn't want to leave her. But even when I do go to her house, she has to go to bed with her daugher and lie there with her until she falls asleep.. which is usually around 10:30-11. So I end up sitting by myself for ages. Sometimes she falls asleep in bed with her, so I end up having to leave without ever getting to actually hang out with her. I think it's really bizarre to lie every single night with a seven year old until she falls asleep. When we babysit, she goes to sleep on her own all the time...
Anyway, so that's how it was up until maybe.. 6 months ago, maybe more.
Now we don't hang out at all, and it's not for lack of trying on my part. Every time I call her, she's asleep.. in the middle of the day. Her husband always says he is going to wake her up in an hour, and when I call back in like 2 hours she is either still asleep, or not feeling well. Every time I do get to talk to her (if I call her at work (she works part time)), she is always saying that she is tired and not feeling well. I've asked if anything is wrong, and she always says a cold or something but it's been like this for almost a year.
She wouldn't get together on Friday because she was too tired, but said we would watch a movie at her house on Saturday night. So I called. She was sleeping. Her husband said he would wake her up in an hour, so Adrian and I went out for dinner and called about 2.5 hours later. She is still sleeping and won't get up. She's not feeling well.
They used to come over for dinners to my parents house a lot, and now it is a rare occasion.. and the last few times, her husband showed up with their daughter but she stayed at home. They even cancelled last minute on the birthday dinner we had for me in October because she wasn't feeling well.
I just don't understand. I think that either she just doesn't want to hang out, and is making excuses or more likely there is something wrong.
I know a while ago she was on anti-depressants and she kept getting them upped and upped, so maybe she is just completely worn out from the medication, but that really worries me as well. She pretty much only leaves the house to go work or if her daughter wants to go somewhere (like the mall). They have a dog that she never walks (I will invite her to come out with me and Adrian and our dog for a walk, and she asks us to just take her dog and she won't come), she never gets any exercise.. yet she is always on about how busy she is. She smokes a lot, drinks quite a bit.. I am really worried she has dug herself into a hole she can't get out of.
The rest of my family has noticed, and has tried to encourage her to do things (like activities and things) but I don't know if anyone has actually said to her, "What is wrong with you and how are we going to fix it?" or if they just talk about it when she's not there.
Is there anything I can do? Is it my place to ask her if she is okay, or to tell her she needs to get some help?
I don't want to hurt her, but we used to have such a good time together and now she can't even sit in her own house and watch a movie with me.
I am really worried.

Steph

--------------------
~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.

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Entire thread
* Worried about my sister - could use some advice
Stephie
06/18/06 11:56 AM
* Yes, do something
hohoyumyum
06/19/06 02:27 PM
* Re: Worried about my sister - could use some advice READ THIS!!
bubbagirl
06/18/06 05:58 PM
* Re: Worried about my sister - could use some advice
Portageegal
06/18/06 02:19 PM
* Re: Worried about my sister - could use some advice
cailin
06/18/06 03:13 PM

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