Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: Ditto, and trying v hard to restrain myself here...

...so I'll use as few words as possible.

FACT:Trevor has been lying to you, concealing things from you, seeing someone behind your back (whether he says they're just talking or not, that's clearly not the case), behaving like a complete idiotic a$$, getting involved with a teenager and, even worse, made you feel like you sone way you should shoulder some of the blame for this, whether you realise it's him doing that to you or not.

FACT: You have NOTHING to apologise for!!!!!! Because -

FACT: At every point in this whole saga he has REFUSED to talk to you about any of it, refused to let you in on what's happening in his life, and refused to even talk about where you go from here. This means -

FACT: You have a right as big as this earth to speak to his mum about his disgraceful behaviour, particularly as you obviously consider her a friend and confidante. I'm not surprised she told him, but that would have been because (a) she is worried about him and (b) she likes you, and wants this to get sorted out for the best - she also has a much loved granddaughter tied up in all this. You talked to someone close to him because HE refused to talk to you in the way that you deserve and are entitled to as his wife and daughter's mother.

FACT: This whole situation is down to HIM and HIS issues, NOT you! You are wonderful, beautiful and so loving, and even though you still feel like you are fighting for him and like there's a small particle of hope, you will move on and find someone more worthy and deserving, someone who loves every ounce of you even more than you love him. Someone who will love your daughter and respect her friends. Someone who will be yours, and yours alone.

I am SO sorry if I sound cold, I can assure you it's exactly the opposite - I care so much I just can't hold this back! I have seen 3 people in near identical situations, and until each woman has accepted that he is not only lost, but that it is a good thing he is lost, she has not been able to move on - and as a result has been screwed in one way or another, intentionally or not.

The way he is acting is just SO infuriating! And please - if he brings it up again, just snap, and say "look, YOU refuse to talk to me about any of this and what's been going on and what your problems are - and if you continue to do so I shall very probably discuss the matter with your mum again, whether you like it or not. And for some insane reason, I still care about you - and this is why I am trying to figure out what your problems are. Get over yourself and grow up." Hmmm, I guess you won't say that, but even if you can't, try keeping schtum, looking fierce and thinking it!!

The most important thing in all of this is that you and Kayleigh are happy, and that clearly (even if it's temporary) isn't the most important thing to Trevor - that tells you much of what you need to know.

We're with you girl, and sending you every spare positive vibe I have! ((((hugs))))

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