We haven't chatted much on the boards but my heart goes out to you and Kayleigh with all of this going on. Having read the posting over the past few days, I can only recommend the following:
1. Contact a lawyer to protect your interests- primarily your daughter.
2. Contact a counselor for yourself to deal with the impact of the separation for yourself and for your precious daughter. Since it will effect you both in different ways, at least you'll be prepared and have a great support system.
3. Be careful not to get lured back into the "we can work this out" without using any protection. If there is someone else he is with, who knows what might happen health wise to you.
4. Pay attention to what is going on and keep a journal. You may need it later to help you.
My girlfriend wound up going through this almost 18 months ago. Her husband of 12 years was traveling a lot and suddenly started doing his laundry. Having worked at a law firm helping a divorce attorney it immediately sent off an alarm. I mentioned it to her and she swore that he would never do that to her or their three kids. Four months later I get a phone call from her because there was a $100 charge for flowers at Valentine's Day. She got a card...not flowers. So she started calling around and found out who the flowers went to...some gal out of state. Since I had mentioned my suspicions she kept paying attention to little details: the late night cell phone conversations- he got a second cell phone and didn't give her the number, constantly in his office at home locked away on the computer (he even put a password on the computer so she couldn't use it), always picking a fight with her when she asked him where he was going. The final straw was when he got fired from his job. Seems that the company knew that he was traveling on business and staying an extra day or so to be with his "girlfriends". They got tired of it and fired him. So he lied to her about the job...was supposedly leaving to go to work or on a trip and was shacked up with one or the otherof these girls for over a month and a half.
Straw finally broke when she got a call from the girlfriend in Las Vegas who got the flowers. Seems she was pregnant and wanted to talk to him but he had been avoiding her calls. The whole thing turned into a large mess with her finding photos and videos of him with other women in a box in their basement. She finally was able to get onto the computer and found all kinds of photos and emails from numerous women. Then she found out he had lied about the job and hadn't told her that he had been fired.
Unfortunately she didn't listen to our advice initially on what to do in talking with a lawyer to protect her childrens' interests thinking that they could work it out. Now her kids have 2 half-siblings that he has to pay child support on. He is still out of work, and ran up their joint credit cards, cleaned out the kids college funds and their savings, all the while she is working three jobs to support her kids and fighting to keep her money so they don't take it for the child support for the other two kids since they are still "married". At least she finally filed for divorce, but knows that even if he has to pay child support there won't be a dime coming in.
She did go to the counselor which we recommended her doing for herself to deal with it. She was able to get the kids to meet with someone and they are dealing fairly well with the fact that their dad doesn't live with them but that they are still loved by both of them.
I mentioned your story to her and she recommended the same thing we told her earlier saying she only wished that she had done it sooner and also that she should have kept asking him the questions of "why, and what is going on" knowing that she did deserve an honest answer. No matter what she has gone through we are still standing by her because she and the kids needs the love and support of true friends. I know that everyone here is definitely in your corner. I wish you the best and know that you will do what is best for you and Kayleigh. I will keep you two in my thoughts and prayers.
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Sorry to hear all this is going on
