Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: Thanks to everyone, you've all been so supportive

Well, I'm back... When something major happens I tend to curl up into a ball and lick my wounds for a good while, not wanting to talk about it, or even speak to anyone full stop. However, I've done that all day today, but (without me even trying) I seem to be coming out of it a tiny bit. And I think having all the support on here from people who know how I feel has played a big part in that!

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel great - I'm exhausted, both physically and mentally, my heart keeps going funny (I have low blood pressure and sometimes have palpitations), I have this weird stiff, aching, swollen thumb joint that's got worse over the past few days and is driving me crazy, I have no energy and I have a thumper of a headache. BUT I don't feel like I want to just disappear, which I did do yesterday/earlier today.

And there is a glimmer of hope - you can also have the hypnotherapy privately. It costs �80 a session, and of course there are 12 sessions, BUT whilst it isn't covered by my private health insurer now (BUPA, through my dad's job), they presented to BUPA last week and showed them a completely cured patient and apparently they were really impressed - so they think they will start to cover it again. The private waiting list is 4/5 months, which is at least better than 9 months.

My mum has told me to switch to the private waiting list, in the hope that BUPA will start to cover it in the meantime, and that even if they don't she'll pay it, even though it will be nearly �1000.

It sounds simple that this is the best thing to do - but I have a huge problem accepting help/gifts off people and feeling like I am dependent on them. I've spent a lifetime being the person helping others out, whether emotionally or financially, and this is so difficult!

Anyway, I have to snap out of this, even if it means I have to deal with it at a later date because we have one of Jamie's friends here now (though he's had stomach problems and understands), his mum is coming later so I can help her do a Powerpoint presentation (my speciality!), and I have 2 essays due the 26th and 27th of May that I haven't even started yet - and if I don't do them I fail my degree, which would make this year even more wasted.

God this is so hard! I thought that at this moment I would be starting the journey to being cured, not sitting here staring out the window wondering how the hell I'm going to carry on dealing with this.

BUT, massive thankyous to everyone who's commiserated with me and supported me! I really appreciate it, and it's helping me deal with this. I feel so weak, but it feels like you're all loaning me a little bit of your strength.

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http://ibsblondie13.blogspot.com/

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