Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | I had a similar situation..sort of

..when i was in college in 1st year I was put in a house with strangers and we all got along great. One of the girls was in all the same classes as me and I found it hard to spend so much time with her. She became very controlling and critical of my life and my habits etc (eg I am very untidy, she is very very very tidy). I helped her a lot with coursework and once I found that she had gone into my room when I wasn't there and taken my revision notes that I had taken ages and ages to prepare, I was furious.

The following year I lived with her for 6 months and then we went away on placement from college. I vistited her and had an OK weekend. When we shared the house I spend a lot of time away from the house and I chose to study in college because she studied at home. I realised that I was avoiding her.

In third year I chose not to live with her. My mental health improved enormously. I felt like I could be myself and not be criticised at everything I do.

We are not in touch anymore, even though we still have some mutual friends.

"Breaking up" with her happened naturally but we let it, it's never easy. I worked on other relationships while I was still living with her so that I was able for the natural break and had other people to hang out with.

Oddly, about four years after this, with various friends having "broken up" with her, some more publicly than others, one person told her straight out about how manipulative she is, how controlling etc. She ended up very upset but realising all the hurt that she had caused. Many of us felt that we did her a disservice by not telling her years ago about all these things.

See, this is long too, but my advice is to (a) not move in together again (b) Don't spend all your time in the house with him (c) Trying to pursue relationships with other friends on a one to one too. (d) don't agree to go on trips with him (e) talk to someone neutral (does your school have Counsellors?) about this and try to get your head fully around it.

I saw your other post too, so I see that you are trying to do some of the above, so do try to stick with it.

--------------------
S.

Print Remind Me Notify Moderator