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Re: thoughts and prayers needed
      03/03/06 08:35 PM

Reged: 05/28/03
Posts: 2263
Loc: SacTown, CA

My mother, my father, and my brother have all been or still are addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. My mother is the only one who has pulled herself together and admitted to having a problem and has started to take care of herself. My parents have always been drinkers and when the marriage started to break down, they both turned to alcohol to escape. Alcohol made them different people, very angry people, in serious denial who hated everyone and everything around them. My father beat my brother mercilessly and he turned to drugs and alcohol. My sister fortunately never become addicted to either if these vices but she has gotten herself into a horrible situation and is just as much in denial as our parents ever were. I started drinking when I was 13 and quit when I was 17 because I didn't want to follow the same route. Instead of drinking I then became the enabler. I cleaned up after my family and helped them out of problems. I did that for years before I realized what I was doing. Then I had to come to terms with the fact that the only thing I could do for any of them was to walk away and allow them to take care of themselves. My father is still an alcoholic and will be until it kills him. My brother is still and alcoholic and addicted to a couple of other things and he is already starting to deteriorate and he is only 32. As difficult as it is to see loved ones hurt themselves this way there is nothing to do but walk away and be there for them when they come out the other side. I have accepted that that may never happen for my father or my brother. I know that they are killing themselves. My mother, I am happy and proud to say, is now sober and supporting herself. I'm so sorry you have to see this. People who do these things are never aware of how it effects the ones who love them. They don't mean to hurt us, but they are not themselves. The are the drug. They are the drink. They are the vice. It is not our faults they do these things. It is not our responsibility to protect them from it, to stop them, or to switch roles with those who should be our caretakers. The only thing you can do to stop it is nothing. She has to decide on her own that she wants help. She has to seek the help. And she has to commit to it. Make sure that you keep on with your life. Don't let this consume you. It will be okay. It is out of your hands.

If you're not dead, you've still got time.

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Entire thread
* thoughts and prayers needed
03/03/06 07:48 PM
* hey janey--
little bear
03/05/06 10:43 PM
* Re: hey janey--
03/06/06 09:06 AM
* Re: thoughts and prayers needed
03/05/06 09:49 AM
* Re: thoughts and prayers needed *DELETED* *DELETED*
03/04/06 04:18 PM
* Shelby
03/05/06 09:03 AM
* Re: thoughts and prayers needed *DELETED*
03/05/06 07:14 AM
* TeeCee
03/05/06 09:08 AM
* Thank you all
03/04/06 10:02 AM
* I am praying for you both! -nt-
03/04/06 09:42 AM
* Good thoughts coming your way
03/04/06 08:25 AM
* Janey, you are in my thoughts.....
03/04/06 07:49 AM
* *HUG*
03/04/06 05:36 AM
* Not familiar with addictions but I will be praying...I am so sorry.~nt~
03/04/06 05:36 AM
* I'm so sorry, will be praying for her and for you. nt
03/03/06 08:40 PM
* Re: thoughts and prayers needed
03/03/06 08:35 PM
* Melissa
03/04/06 10:10 AM
* Re: Melissa
03/06/06 07:50 PM
* Re: thoughts and prayers needed
03/04/06 08:30 AM
* Re: thoughts and prayers needed
03/06/06 07:45 PM
* Sort of familiar...
03/03/06 10:00 PM
* You Got It, Girlfriend
03/03/06 08:13 PM
* Thanks Bev
03/03/06 08:16 PM
* This is a tough one.
03/03/06 08:12 PM
* Kate
03/03/06 08:18 PM

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