Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards

Hello ladies (and gentlemen of course)

Well, I dunno where to start. I feel hideous, and not because of myt IBS. That's strangely not an issue right now. I'm real sorry to choose here to post all this crud, I suppose it's where I feel least like I'll be mocked.

I'm having a terrible time, like I'm living in a big black cloud... and worse, I am a horrid person and I keep saying the wrong thing. I'm an awful bitch.
I was doing ok until this week. First I didn't even make the short list for an internal position I applied for.. and I was the only one that didn't. Then my dog died (he lived at my mum's house), and I broke down at work on tuesday when I got Mum's message about that.
I'm not sleeping properly, and I keep saying stupid, inappropriate things (not like, sexually inappropriate or disgusting or anything.. just inappropriate).. and I feel like I want to be mean to people.
Just tonight I got in a verbal fight at a friend's house (Liz) with her flatmate (Kat, who I can't stand anyway, just I've bitten my tongue around her til now).. so I left without telling my Liz.. then my other friend (Jon) who was there came after me and gave me the telling off I deserved. I'm so ashamed of myself, and so unhappy right now I don't know what to do.

I feel like I don't have proper friends to talk to, I don't want to go to work because I'm ineffective at my job and I don't want to go to bed anbd cry myself to sleep again.

I just want to feel good again... but I feel like I deserve to be miserable until I learn how to be a better person.

I'm so embarassed and right now I don't really feel like I want to go on. I know no-one can really do anything about that so I'm sorry to be even posting this.

--------------------
*Emma*

Print Remind Me Notify Moderator