Believe me, Ruchie, I can sympathize.  I don't know when it gets easier. I'm really struggling, too. You can try to be as sparkly and witty and flippant as you want, but sooner or later you'll have red eyes and smudged mascara.
I'm not too sure how long you've been diagnosed with all of your conditions, but for me, it's dizzying and bewildering and painful to think back and know I was OK a couple years ago. I guess you just need to accept that, but I don't know how to accept it. And I'm not so sure you can really cope that well if you can't accept it.
As far as kids go -- the key phrase here is "the way things are now". Right now you are focusing on getting yourself well, and maybe later on down the road you WILL be well enough to care for a child. Don't slot yourself yet. I'm still all torn up right now because I have no idea if I'll be able to have kids, but I WILL adopt if I can't. And I WILL be well enough some day to do it! So maybe things suck right now -- but -- I was OK two years ago. Maybe in another two years I'll be OK. Who knows?
Anyway, I guess I don't have any sage words of advice, but I do know that just having surgery, no matter what it's treating, is rough in itself, and you need to give yourself time to heal. 2-4 weeks and you'll begin to lose the surgery side-effects. Be good to yourself in the meantime -- take it easy and take your pain pills.
Hang in there -- and go read some more books! I'm still waiting for those reviews.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Re: Really hard time :(
