And by "it" I mean talk to my doctor about a possible fibromyalgia diagnosis. A few people here know that I've been dealing with muscle pain, fatigue, insomnia, common fibro symptoms. But I don't have a fibro diagnosis because it's not something I've been wanting to bring up to my doctor. Well, I don't know why I've been so stubborn, except that I was feeling like I needed permission to admit to how bad I've been feeling. Ridiculous, I know! Especially when I'm the one holding me back from getting help.
A month ago I made an appointment for my physical, but today I called in to see if I could get in this week. I'm just waiting to hear if there are any cancellations.
I've been in a lot of pain the last few days, nothing new except that I'm tired of not knowing WHY. This has been happening off and on for the last eight years, maybe longer, and I've been periodically checked for RA and arthritis, thyroid problems, anemia, inflammation and infection, blood calcium levels, etc. Nothing is wrong with me except I feel bad and my doctors look at me and say, "You're perfectly healthy." I know a lot of you understand.
My current doctor has mentioned how sensitive I am to touch and a few years ago I was having swelling in my thumbs and the bottoms of my feet, but extensive testing showed up nothing. At my last visit, she suggested the next time I come in that she would search for something more systemic.
Because I had open heart surgery as a child, a few doctors have freaked when they see my nine inch scar and think they hear a murmur. I have to explain that my murmur corrected itself years ago and that sound they hear is blood rushing through my arteries which they can hear because I'm so thin. Last year, one doctor decided I should have an echocardiogram, which not only proved what I said but also showed that there was no sign I had even had heart surgery! No scar tissue, no murmur. So, I'm very thankful for that! (But that's why I had the surgery, so I could be "normal.")
I don't know what I need right now or what I should do. I'm afraid I'll have to quit my job if I continue on this path and I'm already feeling like a failure. Sorry to be such a drag. I'll make sure to post on the "What I'm Thankful For" thread to balance this out. 
Edited by SPASMTASTICAL! (01/30/06 02:27 PM)
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I'm finally going to do it!
