The first baby I lost should be 21 years old right now and in my heart of hearts I think he was a boy though I will never know for sure. Knowing if the baby was a boy or girl for me would have made it easier to lay him to rest...if that makes any sense.
It was a long time before I was able to look at pregnant mommies and not be jealous...here these women were glowing and so happy to have a life within them and I was sending daggers at them because I was hurting so much.
To this day I remember the first mommy that I could look at and rejoice with her that she was pregnant. We had already adopted my daughter, she was 2 years old as a matter of fact and suddenly I was jealous no more.
I still long for another baby...my son was three years old when we adopted him so I had only one.
I share all of this with you to say that you are totally entitled to be angry...sad...totally PO'ed and such. Don't come down on yourself for feeling what may seem like irrational feelings because I assure you they are totally rational.
Walk through those feelings...the healing will come. Healing doesn't bring our babies back...I have lost at least three but we get by.
Harley is a great start....I am still waiting for a picture of him in his jacket .
I so wish I could come see you and just hug you or sit in the middle of the floor and cry with you. I cry real good and you know I understand.
There are no words...so I am not sure why I just shared all of this but my prayer is that something I said blesses you.
-------------------- Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!