I can relate. I've been fortunate to be able to see counselors (note I said counselorS lol because it has been an ongoing, evolving experience) but I don't have anyone IRL that I can talk to about my life (past or present). If you can find a therapist, that would be great. There are lots of places who see people on a sliding scale fee if you have no insurance. Maybe attending some ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) meetings might help. Even if your parents were not drinkers, all of the people there have experienced various types of abuse and would understand completely. Plus, the meetings are free...all are on a donation only basis. There are TONS of chatboards online to deal with just about any issue out there. Do a google search and you will find just about everything you could possibly want.
That said, there's still nothing to replace seeing a therapist one on one or in a group. Many offer group sessions that are at a much reduced price. That's where I first started years ago. It made all the difference in the world for me. It's tough at first, and yes, your life will probably turn upside down as you look at things that have been tucked safely away all these years, but it's worth it because you get to know YOU...the REAL YOU who existed before the abuse. The one that's been hidden away from everyone, but most of all, hidden away from you. When you're ready to deal with it, you'll know because nothing will be able to stop you from it. It will occupy your mind like crazy and if you're open to it, the right people will come along just when you need them. If you're not ready at this time, maybe the ACOA groups are a good (cheap) place to start. They'll help you acknowledge how it has affected your life and they'll provide real time, real people support. I guess I just wanted to say that I've been there and there are lots of options out there. You just have to dig around for them and find what works best for you. As for posting in here...I have no idea! lol I've only been popping into the living room for a couple of weeks!  So I don't know much about this room. My guess is that you would get a lot of support. My experience has been that during the times of dealing with my past experiences, my IBS flared up bigtime.....so.......it would seem you'd be able to at least bring up some things in here. But depending on the severity of the abuse, a therapist is the safest option available. I say that very seriously and respectfully because I know how rough it was for me at times. I wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for the therapist(s) I was seeing at the time(s) things got rough. (Read a lot into that statement...there's a lot there)  Check around...I'm sure there's something available where you live that would fit your needs. ok...I'm stopping now! lol
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sorry....looooooong response!
