Michele- I know that I said all of this on the phone just awhile ago but you have no reason to blame yourself. You did everything you could and should to take care of those babies. I wish I had answers to give you, I know I have seeked them myself the 3 times I have been there but just know that you are loved and cared for by MANY people on this board and in your life. Taking time to comfort a friend is what true friendship is about. You know I love ya and I hope to see you Wednesday!!