Re: Wow Ashley, thanks!!!
11/08/05 02:25 PM
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You know I have OCD and Bipolar. That was a great read! I'm currently in CBT and am trying VERY hard. This winter, I'm trying to takle my fears straight on. It's so scary!!! I've always said that having OCD is like wearing a pair of coloured sunglasses. Everything you see is coloured by the OCD. For me, I see germs and viruses on anyone and anything. (tears). I live my life in terror. I'm terrified all of the time. Thank goodness, with meds and the CBT, I am making headway. Humour me- I think it would be good for me to write some of them down.
1. I go out for my groceries - I don't have them delivered hardly anymore.
2. I take my kids with me (fear of exposing them)
3. I refuse to wash my hands in public even if my hands feel filthy (especially after being in like a pharmacy or something).
4. I am doing concentrated CBT in the kitchen - resisting the urge to wash my hands the second they get a wee bit dirty.
5. I am not using rubber gloves and disinfectants in the kitchen. (Regular cleaners and bare hands.)
6. I am spending time touching the garbage can (A REALLY scary one for me and am riding out the anxiety which is really really really really terrible.
7. I do relaxation techniques anywhere and everywhere when I feel anxious (breathe in for 4 and out for 4) until I feel centred.
8. I am talking openly and willingly to my psychologist and am starting to share more of my fears with my spouse.
9. I am working on not letting the dishes pile up ( I HATE dirty dishes because they're so disgusting to me).
10. I don't freak when my kids do something gross - like put their hands on the floor at the pharmacy, eat a smartie that fell on the floor for 2 seconds.
Whew. It is really good to write down our accomplishments. Even small ones. Sometimes, for me that's a battle by the minute and second.
After all this, if you're still reading - CBT is awesome. It's really hard to do but it really works. IE after cutting up raw chicken for an hour straight, it no longer bothers me to touch raw meat. MAJOR hurdle. (I still have to disinfect afterwards - but that's acceptable with raw chicken)
I realized I'm guilty of a lot of the thinking errors. It's just that the OCD distorts things so much, and I'm scared all the time, it's hard to think positively.
Anyway, thanks for all the advice. You're going to be amazing in your occupation when you finish school!!!!!
Hugs, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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