Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Re: I know I talk about this a lot, but.....

Nugget

Maybe it would be an idea if you forget about "not worrying" for now and concentrate on trying to be true to your feelings. Your last post reminded me of my best friend, Gemma. She has struggled for years with eating disorders and, more recently, with severe depression and suicidal tendencies. However, for ages, no one around her understood how bad the problem was, because she put on such a good act. She always said she was fine and she put on a front with therapists, etc to, like you, get out of therapy. However, this meant that she never owned up to how she felt and got pent-up, making herself more and more ill. Things reached a head after yet another suicide attempt, when her parents (who were also quite good at putting up fronts) totally broke down and were basically saying goodbye to her. Gemma has now turned a corner and she's far more open about how she feels. She isn't as bubbly and life-and-soul-of-the-party as she used to be, but she's so much healthier. She now tells people if she's having a hard time or feeling nervous about something, all things that she used to cover up, almost as if she was ashamed of not coping. For the first time in years, she has a future.

I know you're not in such a bad way as she was, but the things you are saying sound so like her. Be careful, please. The people around you would much rather you were honest than pretending to cope when you aren't. If they don't, then they don't care about you as a person.

I hope this helps in some way. We're all here for you.

Linz

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