Are you my long lost twin? Boy, I really felt your story as we share such a similiar family background. My mother is manic depressive and has been in and out of mental institutions for over 10 years. She's attempted suicide quite a few times and only 2 days ago told me that "she's not afraid of suicide." Like you, I"m very lucky to have a father who I just adore - who gave me the best sense of stablity he could within his circumstances.
I feel your anguish. The lead up to Christmas is pure agony. It's not a thing that gets planned a few weeks beforehand, because it's something that people like you and me struggle with for months beforehand. Sometimes I've worried so much that I"ve made myself sick about it. It's amazing the level of manipulation that people can have over you whether you 'let' them be a part of your life or not.
Every year I've seen her on christmas day, and it is a very sombre environment. Anyway, this year I"m spending it with my boyfriend's parents - OVERSEAS!
I can't tell you what to do. What I can say though is that I can understand EXACTLY what you are going through. Only you will come to a conclusion on this. It's weighing up whether to not include her for self preservation (yours and your husband) at the expense of feeling 'guilty' or to include her (but dread the lead up to it).
Is there some other 'creative' solution to this? Perhaps write down all your options eg to invite/not to invite/to see her christmas eve/to go away for christmas and have a 'mock' chrissy day with your family instead etc..... Then for each one, write out the positives, negatives etc and then you will see clearly what alternative seems the best.
Sorry I've written an essay here, but I wanted you to know that you're certainly not alone! I've probably divulged a lot more on here than I would do, however, seeing your honesty and vulnerability - I just felt I owed you the same.
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Re: I need some advice...would you go to Christmas? Sorry -quite long!
