Lana Marie,
Of course, none of us would judge you. We are here to listen and to offer whatever advice we can. As I was reading your post, I was thinking that maybe your pregnancy would change your relationship with your mother. Then when you said she has not contacted your sister during her pregnancy, that idea went out the window.
All I can say to you is that some people will never change and that no matter what you try to do to mend the relationship, if they are not willing to accept you (for whatever reason) as you are, there is nothing you can do to change that. If it hurts you to see her and it causes a rift between you and your husband then I personally would not see her. It's just not worth it, for your emotional state. Especially now that you are pregnant it is important that you not get yourself all worked up about this.
Now that we are sharing personal information, I will tell you that I speak from experience, but in my situation, it's my in-laws. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but my in-laws have never liked me. I have wrestled with this for years (23 to be exact) and after much tears and lots of counseling, have decided that if they do not like me, there's nothing I can do about it. I have given up trying to be the perfect daughter-in-law that they want me to be. I have come to the conclusion that nobody would have been good enough for their only son. If he had married Princess Di, she would not have been good enough for them! It hurts to think about it, but I finally have realized that if they don't like me for who I am then it's their problem and not mine. I gave them their only two grandchildren and they still weren't happy with me. Like I said, sometimes people cannot be made happy. Usually this is because there is something else in their life that causes them to just be unhappy people. Unfortunately, people, like us, who happen to care and would love to reestablish the relationship, are unable to do so no matter what we do. Sorry I'm rambling. I hope I'm making some sense.
Like I said, I don't think you should feel guilty for not wanting to see her. Seeing someone who has caused you so much pain in the past has got to be extremely difficult for you. Please don't feel guilty if you don't want to see her. Sometimes you just have to move on----and live your life surrounded by those that do care for you. It sounds like you have a wonderful husband, father, sister, and in-laws. I would relish in that and enjoy your pregnancy without getting so upset. You are a sweet person and I know you are going to be a terrific mother. Smile, sweetie!
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Re: I need some advice...would you go to Christmas? Sorry -quite long!
